Seeing as how video-responses and audio-responses and general responses-in-kind are the rage on the web, this is a pseudoscientific photoresponse to Paul's blog on pagers, posted yesterday. (
(e:Paul,41990)).
Objective and Hypothesis:
Using the same model, setting and variables, I think a plausible answer to Paul's bewilderment at Roswell's persistence with seemingly outdated technology, is an unswerving commitment to fashion.
Study Design:
Observational, Cross-Sectional (a.k.a snapshot).
Controlled setting: Roswell Buildings
Controlled model (constant):
(e:imk2)
Variables: Accessories
Methods:
Apparatus: 3.2 Megapixel Fuji
Statistical Methods: Bivariate Prevarication
Results:

Pay special attention to the duplication of accessories, the "big and bold" theme and the evident delight of the Roswellian. After statistical testing, the following observations are seen to be statistically significant:
(a) "Big and bold" is beautiful. (p value*: 0.0008, CI: Big, Huge#)
(b) Like history, fashion trends repeat themselves. (p value*: 0.003, CI: Repeat twice, Repeat Six times^)
(c) Fashion might be directly associated with gratification, and thus happiness (no matter, how transient) (p value*: 0.04, CI: Smile, Maniacal Gurgling Laughter%)
(d) Good things come in doubles (p value*: 0.045)@
Legend:
- p-value: prevarication value
- The Zero (or Null) being - "Normal" on a continuous scale from "Really tiny" to "Ginormous"
^The Zero (or Null) being - "Remains same" on a continuous scale from "Doesn't repeat at all" to "Repeats infinite times".
%The Zero (or Null) being - "A Neutral Look" on a continuous scale from "A Scowling frown" to "Maniacal Howling Laughter".
@Analysis included categories such as:
-- "Good things come in singles"
-- "Bad things don't come at all"
-- "Good things don't come at all"
-- "There is no such thing as a good or a bad thing (reference category)"
Discussion and Key Conclusions:
Roswell recognizes the fashion needs of its esteemed employees and thus results (a) and (b) are robustly matched by the institution in the form of old fashioned "big and bold" themed pagers. Though, results (c) and (d), barely reach statistical significance, Roswell goes an extra mile to ensure that even these "barely there" fashion needs are met by (i) forcing committed Roswellians to have a minimum of two pagers and (ii) putting them in situations where they are required to smile, no matter what the circumstance (or the weather).
Limitations:
Ha, this study is perfect. Stop looking for faults, you nitpicker!
Public Health Significance:
This study demonstrates the acute mental health needs of the estripper who authored this manuscript.
Conflict of Interest:
The author of this manuscript is the recipient of a bag of sweet sweet candy from one of the "constants" in the study, i.e.
(e:imk2).
References:
Visco P. et. al.
Text Pagers and the Wegmans Parking Lot . Estrip.org; (
(e:Paul,41990)): 2007, Sep 05.
@(e:ladycroft): I hope not!! I really like it on the floor!!! :)
@(e:museumchick): Unfortunately, that's not my flat. I wish it were though. I would really like to have that table with the rug! :)
@@(e:Hodown): I totally agree!!!
@(e:metalpeter): Might I say, those are excellent points. I am prone to tripping over everything because I am most probably, the clumsiest person alive on the planet. But I am crazy about keeping my floor clean. I seriously could and (most surely would) murder the people who dare come in with their shoes on. :)
I myself being about average height don't like table on the floor. They would be very awkward since I would be to high above them when sitting. The other problem is it is just something else to trip over. If you drop a box on the floor of something you bought you wouldn't be able to see the table anymore. I'm not saying they are a bad Idea at all just not what I'm into. I think that for them to work the place has to be like a traditional Japanese place where you take off your shoes. You don't want to be sitting on a floor that you walked on with shoes from outside. The other thing is that you can't do that cause if the floor gets dirty then it is near your food. You also can't have a dog or a cat cause they will want to eat right off that table. In theory it is a cool idea and would look really nice, but for me it isn't an option. That being said I hope you get one and remember that during winter when that floor is cold you might feel differantly.
That last table looks so cozy and warm. I love it!
Your place looks cozy and comfortable:). I like the idea of having everything on the floor, though, (e:ladycroft) is right... it could start to get kind of cold.
your tune might change when winter is full throttle - you'll be posting about bunk beds to maximize your time in the heat ;)
i bet you could make that table, or something very similar. living a life of penury develops the creative genius.