I can blog about how shitty my companies payroll system is. In the past 3 years I've had the following happen:

Payroll doesn't make the wire on time, leaving everyone unpaid for a long weekend.

Paid the numbers of hours I worked ($25- I had taken a bunch of vacation) instead of being paid my hourly rate. It took 3 wires to fix that.

Being set up as salaried so for 2.5 years I got no overtime. When I discovered I should be getting overtime I had to calculate how much I was owed (um it wasnt my mistake).

Taxes being taken out for only 1 state (I live in NJ and work in NY).

My vacation accrual not correct (one year I was negative 125 hours- I wish I had taken that much time). This year I was suppossed to get more hours off, I caught that and had it corrected.

You'd think those are all big mistakes, but oh no wait until you hear this. Currently my account is over $4,000 overdrawn. Who in the world took all this money out you ask? My company, that's who. I guess on Wednesday bonuses were suppossed to be paid and on Friday paychecks were to be wired. Well *someone (my payroll claims its not them) messed up. Some people got money deducted from their accounts, other people have an extra $12k sittnig around. When I checked my balance this morning I almost had to breathe into a bag. So I called my bank who informed me that #1 my company had made the withdrawl, and #2 they were closing my account and #3 I was being charged an insane amount of fees for the overdraft.

I had my company call my bank. They are wiring over money now, but because it's so overdrawn they won't allow me to take funds out until Monday. It's a whole mess of bank wires, withdrawls and holds on my account.

Oh wait did I forget to mention I work for a FINANCIAL service firm.

I kinda want to punch someone and then take a xanax. I probably wont punch someone, but I am for sure taking a xanax.

Last night as I was watching Dr. 90210 on E! I discovered Angie Everheart has TMJ. Now I should probably be embarassed that I know all about Dr. Ray and his sham of a marriage and his neglicted kids, but I'm not. I like reality TV. That being said I hope word doesn't get out about my shameful TV habits. If I were ever to be questioned about it I'd swear that the only thing this week I watched was Ken Burn's "The War" on PBS.

Anyways last nights episode actually gave me some amazing information. #1 Angie Everheart has TMJ. I felt validated. Basically every day of my life my jaw is in pain. It hurts all the time. Sometimes it hurts less and sometimes it hurts more, but it always hurts. Angie said pretty much the same thing. Now to bring it back to Dr. 90210 she was in the show because she was getting Botox injections for her pain. Apparently Botox relaxes the muscle and you get relief for about a month or so. I was amazed watching this for 2 reasons. #1 I now have a legit reason to get Botox. #2 There might actually be a solution to my chronic jaw clenching.

Fast foward to this morning. I decide to google Botox and TMJ because if Google can find it, surely it must be true. There is actually quite a bit out there on this treatment and it seems to work. But really thats not the point. The point is TMJ has a Myspace page. WTF? Really are there a lot of Myspacers out there like "I want TMJ to be my friend."? Anyways if you have any interest in checking out TMJ on Myspace:

Bishop Allen
September 29th @ The Icon
Be there or be square

Instead of working I'm reading the NYT. Well actually I am working, just taking a little break and reading the NYT. Anyways in the style section theres an article about THE BEST WEBSITE EVER. It's an ecard site. Now normally I hate those things. Gay (and I mean dumb, not homosexual) dancing cats with rainbows and songs flash across your screen wishing you a happy day. F that I hate cats and songs combined. Add in some dancing and I'm ready to stab myself in the eye with what ever is nearest to me.

Those days are over. Some genius has come up with a perfect ecard site. You know its a good site when it has a category named "cry for help" (cards in this category read "Let's constantly turn the conversation back to me" & "Theres nothing quite as sad as our happy hours"). Awesome. I highly suggest you "take a break from work" aka goof off and go to this site: www.someecards.com. Oh and if you ever want to send me an e card the new rule is it has to be from that site.

Below is a card I have in mind for a few co-workers:

Ok I know Sex in the City is soo 2001, and really it shows this fake life of a New York woman, but it's kinda like porn for women. That being said today I saw them filming at Tiffanys. I work right across the street and had to run errands for my boss so I stopped by. It was the first time I've ever seen paparazzi up close and personal. I also saw SJP, which I think means that Big and her are shopping for wedding rings. Now I kinda can't wait to see the movie. It probably will be horrible and cheesy, but I am going to enjoy every stinking minute of it.