I miss home. i miss my family. i miss my neighborhood. i miss normalcy. i miss frizb's. i miss my friends. i miss ny in general.

i hate school. i hate las vegas. i hate my life here. i hate my program. i hate that i am wasting so much fucking time in this shitty fucking city. fuck.



i bought 3 shirts today. one of which is this cute hello kitty shirt that is pink and super cute and girly. usually i don't wear hello kitty gear... despite how i am a huge hello kitty fan, but i saw the shirt and it was saying "jess, you can do this one....it's cute!" so i bought it.



my sister is here this week. i feel bad because i am just so under the weather....and the weather here is insane may i add. it's only supposed to be around 70, and it is 90. too hot for me. fuck this shit.

i hate heat.

70 is perfect....springtime like. i think that is the general consesus. comfortable weather is key...

....but back to my sister. i am just kinda bummed about where i am in life right now, and i feel bad because she is here and wants to do all the vegas shit, but i just want to puke every time i see a casino or flashing lights or whores walking down the street. for real.

i hate to complain, i am just really home sick. i miss home. not that home is anything special or great; its just home. it's where ma famille is. j'adore ma famille. i am sick of being so far away from the life where i want to be. it's going on 5 years away from home, and i am just sick of having to make so much hoopla to get there....more so now that i am 3000 miles away than when i was only 400.

i need to find a job as close to home as possible. that is what i need to do. anyone hiring a project coordinator for a public health position? anyone need a epidemiologist? anyone need an environmental health specialist? anything! i will take anything....


actually, there is this job that i really want at roswell park. i hate to tease myself, but it would be a great job for me. i hate looking at that site and seeing jobs that i am qualified for. ugh!!!!!!!!!!

maybe i will just fuck school and fly home and get a job and be happy. yay!

this weekend was my trip to reno/carson city for the women's grassroots lobby days weekend. it sucked so bad for various reasons, so i left early. i am probably going to get a lot of shit for it, but im sorry, i thought it was going to be informative and insightful....well, i guess it was insightful for the sheer fact that I know realize why this state (Nevada) is so fucked up. I met the women that have power and mold education and healthcare here....they are all old, mean, rich and crabby ladies that are just straight up bitches. Its sickening to me....but everything now makes perfect sense.


i got a personal injury attorney and am now going to PT 3 times a week. It's insane....and scary at the same time. All of this legal stuff really scares me.


My sister comes in tomorrow. i am SO excited!



I love my dogs. really. they are awesome.

well, i went back to the ER today. My hives are out of control. come to find out, I AM ALLERGIC TO THE TATTOO INK. wtf? yea, like 1% of people who get tattoos end up being allergic to the ink used. awesome. but i have finally been prescribed some drugs that should fix it. we will see about this one.

but i get another day of excused work....wonderful drugs that make people way too sleepy to drive or operate anything. i guess i can't complain about that.

this week it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees! i am sooooooooo excited! but it's one more reason to give whores an excuse to wear hoochie skirts and tubtop belly shirts with stripper heals. I guess you take the bad with the good....


i don't know what else to write. i am too drugged to care at the moment. please forgive....

I still got in a car accident today anyway. Some dude rearended me on my comute to work this morning. I have damage to my car again.... car accident #2 sicne I have moved here. insane.

so i went to work. my head started pounding....then i thought about it, and yes, my head hit the steering wheel when the accident happened. i decided to go to the hospital, and after 5 hours of waiting, find out I have a concussion and whiplash, along with a severe allergic reaction (my hives), a throat infection, and a sinus infection (all of which are unrelated to the accident except for the concussion and whiplash). Man o man. So now my mom is like, "lets sue that fucker!" we will see about that mom....


bad things always happen in three's. this is my third this time around. I had my last "bad things" session when I first moved here: sophia's ear infection and surgery, my first car accident, and my grandmother dying).....This time it's hives, the phone, and car accident #2. how many htings can one person handle without becoming insane?

so this whole tattoo thing sucks even more (bare with me):

I switched from the A&D ointment to lotion yesterday....I bought lubriderm shea and cocoa butter lotion and started to use it this morning after the shower. My tattoo already was itching like hell, but when I got to work this morning, I realized it was starting to get hives around it. That's funny.....so I took a benadryl and continued my day. but then my feet got all itchy, and wearing flipflops today, I looked down at my feet and realized that my feet had hives too. So, I ran to the bathroom to check out my legs....HIVES ALL OVER! and of course, seeing the hives only made them itch more. So I took more benadryl and tried to work some more. By 2, I was woosy from the drugs, so I left and went home to lay down.

fastforward to now (11:20pm PT), my hives are out of control. So I took a shower to get any left over lubriderm that was on my skin off, because the only thing that could have made me break out in hives is the lotion considering that is the only thing that I have changed in the past day....and I put it all over my legs, tattoo (which is on my stomach) and my feet. ugh! So now I have these awful hives and I can't sleep, much less sit for a minute without freaking out. fuck this. I need a shot of cortizone or something to stop this itching. ugh!