Those of you that speak javascript might find it funny.
<html>
<body>
<script type="text/javascript">
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage = function(name){
var t=this;
t.name= name;
t.languageSpoken = 'english';
t.alive=1;
t.health=100;
t.englishCompetency=0;
t.illegalStatus=1;
t.toHTML();
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.see = function(condition){
this.lyricsSung = condition;
this.report(this.name+' sang '+this.lyricsSung);
switch(condition){
case "by the dawn's early light":
this.becomesAmerican();
break;
case "a la luz de la aurora":
this.removeFromCountry();
break;
}
this.updateStats();
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.becomesAmerican = function(){
this.usCitizenship=true;
this.chanceForLivingWage = true;
this.illegalStatus=0;
window.document.body.style.backgroundColor ='blue';
alert('congratulations '+this.name+' you sang in english you can be american')
}
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.removeFromCountry = function(){
this.report("pablo was send back to mexico");
this.tryAndReturnByCrossingTheBorderForALivingWage();
if(this.health > 0){
this.tryAndLearnEnglishWorking70HoursInAFieldPickingStrawberries();
if(this.englishCompetency < 80){
this.usCitizenship=false;
this.chanceAtLivingWage = false;
} else {
this.see("by the dawn's early light");
}
} else {
window.document.body.style.backgroundColor ='red';
alert(this.name+' died at a cattle ranch getting shot by neonazis. Game over');
this.health=0;
}
this.updateStats();
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.tryAndLearnEnglishWorking70HoursInAFieldPickingStrawberries = function(){
var english_learned = Math.floor(Math.random()*20);
this.report(this.name+' learned '+english_learned+'% more english working 70 hours a week picking strawberries in a field');
return this.englishCompetency += english_learned;
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.tryAndReturnByCrossingTheBorderForALivingWage = function(){
health_lost = Math.floor(Math.random()*20);
this.report(this.name+ 'lost '+health_lost+'% health on the journey');
this.health -=health_lost;
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.toHTML = function(){
var t=this;
t.story = document.createElement('div');
btn = document.createElement('button');
btn.appendChild(document.createTextNode('Try and sing in english'));
dat = document.createElement('div');
statsLyrics =document.createElement('p');
statsLyrics.appendChild(document.createTextNode('Lyrics Sung: '));
t.statsLyricsSung = document.createElement('span');
t.statsLyricsSung.appendChild(document.createTextNode(''));
statsLyrics.appendChild(this.statsLyricsSung);
statsEnglishCompetency =document.createElement('p');
statsEnglishCompetency.appendChild(document.createTextNode('English Competetcy: '));
t.statsEnglishCompetencyPercent = document.createElement('span');
t.statsEnglishCompetencyPercent.appendChild(document.createTextNode(''));
statsEnglishCompetency.appendChild(this.statsEnglishCompetencyPercent);
statsHealth =document.createElement('p');
statsHealth.appendChild(document.createTextNode('Heath: '));
t.statsHealthPercent = document.createElement('span');
t.statsHealthPercent.appendChild(document.createTextNode(''));
statsHealth.appendChild(this.statsHealthPercent);
dat.appendChild(statsLyrics);
dat.appendChild(statsEnglishCompetency);
dat.appendChild(statsHealth);
window.document.body.appendChild(btn);
window.document.body.appendChild(dat);
window.document.body.appendChild(t.story);
btn.onclick = function(){
t.story.innerHTML ='';
t.see("a la luz de la aurora");
}
}
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.updateStats = function(){
this.statsLyricsSung.firstChild.data = this.lyricsSung;
this.statsHealthPercent.firstChild.data = this.health;
this.statsEnglishCompetencyPercent.firstChild.data = this.englishCompetency;
};
illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage.prototype.report = function(info){
this.story.innerHTML += '<br />'+info;
}
pablo = new illegalAlienYearningForLivingWage('pablo');
</script>
</body>
</html>
And its still better than many of the other border towns like nogales or juarez
Ok...so I had to camp out at Jenny's sisters house in North Hollywood so that I wouldn't miss my flight because of the immigration rally in LA, so this JavaScript poem really touched me....sigh. (I'm serious).
The poem's sweet dude. I love it how Pablo looses life to learn English. It's kinda sad and true, we steal life from these people, and when we've had our fill we say..."uh stay in your dirty little country until I want to go on vacation or screw the poor people here again." America: The life-pire.
If you ever get a chance go to TJ just across the border. It's the most depressing adventure you'll ever go on. You'll get trailed for yards by starving babies that are cuter than buttons, and then you'll come home an enjoy a big mac and smile again.
Very interesting lol!
damnit! If i only knew javascript!