isn't really a whole lot.

i have been told my whole life that i am too sensitive. recently, i was told that i am too sensitive for my own good. even more sensitive than the person telling me this, much to her amazement. being sensitive has lead me down unusual paths. i don't fit into the norm.

i know i overreact when i am hurt. i don't know how to act like all the people that have this all figured out. very rarely have i turned to someone and told them they hurt me. it's not that i don't think my feelings are valid or worthy. i just don't know how to do it. i don't want my reaction to be out of proportion. nor do i want to shut down.

the positive side to this is that i am also quick to be happy, to laugh, to jump for joy, to applaud and to just say 'yay'. i love being happy for other people just as much as i love being happy for myself. not always the norm, either. i can be the first to make a move to be silly in a room full of somber faces. i make an ass of myself in this regard. regularly.

lately, i have been wondering how much of who i am has affected my friendships. i don't have many. the few i have, i have had for a long time. i don't make friends easily. i am awkward. too guarded or too exposed. too wary. too talkative. or too silent. and, of course, too easily hurt. without the ability to handle the hurt well. i can also come across as too enthusiastic. too passionate about things others may see as mundane. my priorities might seem disproportionate. i don't know how to reach out in a way that makes sense to every one else.

i love the friends i have with every fiber of my being. their joy is mine. their sadness i share. my bestest friend in the whole wide world is also my biggest fan. i am fortunate that he is also my husband.

that's what i know right now. who knows what i might know in the future.

Oh, how i hate to quote Bono (sorry, U2 fans out there.. can't help it, i think they suck, but i hear they are really nice guys), but it is such a great day out today. Nice cool breeze with a warm sun. Those are the kinda days that make me think of spring!

We had some errands to do today. Mostly, we needed to go downtown to pay our User Fee bill at City Hall. This time, we wanted to make sure we did not do it last minute, when everyone else is there. And, avoid lunch hour. Another big mistake. We also decided, on such a nice day, why drive there and back. Why not take the bus? We're right between 2 routes that would get us there in about 15 - 20 minutes.

City Hall was all decked out with tables selling what we assumed to be Mother's Day crafts on the main floor hallway. Nothing much there for my mom... and i already got and gave her the gift she's getting (dvd of the film The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill ).

We thought about going up to City Hall's observation tower. (E:Matthew)'s pictures inspire me to want to face that fear of heights i have. But alas, it is closed due to construction...



We hung around for a while, trying to figure out why there were so many cops and firefighters milling about, not letting cars drive on certain streets along Niagara Square. Eventually, i asked someone. Seems the courthouse received a bomb threat today. Yipes!

We walked around a bit. Too early for an (e:peep) sighting of (e:lilho) at a hotdog cart. But we were getting hungry. (e:Uncutsaniflush) mentioned a restaurant that sounded cool... "california mexican", i think is what he called the cuisine. After eating there, i agreed. It's on the corner of Chippewa and Delaware, street level in the Hampton Inn. Called Salsarita's. I had the most giantestest burrito i have ever seen (in real life.. but it looked similar to one i saw Ozzy eat on an episode of The Osbornes). Veggie choices are plenty, as are all menu options. I think that's their shtick. The place got packed. And, when i looked them up later while at home (yeah, i know, (e:Paul) i could have done it on the go if i had the right mobile device!) it turns out they aren't Californian at all! Place started in Charlotte, North Carolina. I should have taken pictures, but i didn't think of it until mine was almost half gone!

We walked some more, and decided to head to the bus stop.. and the one we ended up at was a mere block away from the restaurant... and had choices. We decided to take the next bus that came. Either the Elmwood or the Grant. One is way closer, but we thought the extra walk wouldn't do us any harm if the Elmwood bus came first. And it did. We even had an (e:peep) sighting, but i thought it would have freaked out the whole bus if i yelled out "Hey Matthew!!" the tiny window up top.... Only took us 15 minutes to walk from Elmwood and Bird down to our place between Grant and Niagara.

After putting our feet up for a bit, we decided to do a bit of yard work before the promised rain storm gets here. Thank goodness we packed it in and had dinner or we would still be out there toiling.

I'm deliriously happy a neighbour asked me to dog sit her pug this afternoon. Shame it's raining, or i would be out walking her now. Instead, i am off to the neighbour's to hang out inside with her... and the 2 very cute kitties! I am sure pictures will follow at some point.....

As i mentioned in my last journal, (e:LeeTee,173) i pug sat today... her human isn't home yet, but the poor thing just couldn't relax here, so i brought her back home so she could nap.

Anyhoo, here are pics...

Smart dog took an immediate liking to (e:Uncutsaniflush) !



She does this cute pose... i think she is used to being photographed!



And this cute lil head tilt when she hears something new (like maybe (e:Uncutsaniflush) playing his guitar) or something she likes (like the word "out").



What a face!





Just imagine how many pics there would be if i had my own dog!

Toronto rocks. Every time we go, i remember how much i love that city. Not sure if i remembered how white the Danforth is. The train over the DVP still freaks me out. I suspect Mark will move once that huge condo building is up and running in the Polish working class 'hood he lives in. This morning, waking up, i can feel the smog in my hair.

Got a message from a job i applied for, asking if i was still interested and would i want an interview. I called back leaving a message saying yes. That is where the phone tag ends. Haven't received a call back. Wondering if i should call again to touch base....

Update

Thanks for the luck, (e:Jenks) . I need all of it i can get.

Thanks, too, (e:Scott) , for confirming what i thought... eagerness for a job can't be a bad thing.

I did end up calling. Spoke to the man hiring. He was too busy at that time to schedule an appointment for an interview, he said and that he would call back. Still waiting for that.