I flew down to Orlando on Monday. Weather delays rerouted my plane, making us fly into DC right over all the monuments. I couldn't believe the perfect aerial view. It brought back memories of my recent trip, which I shall post soon (seeing how I never got to it). Again, due to weather, we were forced to depart from the north, giving me a spectacular aerial view of Arlington National Cemetery. It was a nice treat.

I finally arrived in Orlando and finished taking things off my sister's walls and packing random items. Made myself go to bed at 2am. Got up and started moving in the morning. I'm tooting my own horn here, I am an amazing packer. I managed to squeeze the contents of my sister's life into a 6X7 box.

As soon as we finished packing the pod, I had to clean her apartment. Exhausted, wet, and smelly, we crammed our food and packs into the Neon and said good-bye to the warm rains of the Florida wetlands. My jaw dropped when I saw the gas prices.


the pod


never thought i'd say this gas was cheap


just peachy


the sunshine came out in south carolina


beautiful skies for the gazillion golfers there


beautiful trees for the admiring eye


i got a massive craving for HO HO's in north carolina


then i got sleepy from the billions of poppies lining the highway through the entire state!


the warm sunshine made me smile for a while


then we got to virginia


where mother nature punished us with never ending mountain climbs, battering winds and mini monsoons


interesting vehicle


west virginia wasn't much better


and apparently thievery is big at rest stops there


pennsylvania, almost home


my kind of rest stop stretching


greeted by lovely blooming lilacs in my parents' driveway

I should be writing a research proposal, but I can't concentrate. This little detail seems to be rearing it's ugly head non-stop these days. My mind spins in so many directions I can't see straight. I can't even hear straight! Nothing is physically wrong with my ears, I just have the memory of a gold fish and the attention span of jack russell terrier. I forget what I was even explaining just now...something to the effect that I can't hear because I can't concentrate, which is a prominent side-effect of the depression that is sucking my soul dry.

Actually the things I think I hear people say are quite entertaining. I should write them down and make t-shirts. That could be my fortune waiting to be made. I digress.....

I can't write, so I'll post photos of an outing instead. After my final yesterday our prof, aka the Dean of Students, had us over for beers and burgers. Pretty fly guy. So we got drunk and went to Goodbar to watch the Sabres win, and drank some more. I'm not gonna lie, self-medicating feels good right now. It frees my mind from its turmoil.

I'm not looking for empathy or advice, I'm just talking out loud. I've been seeing a counselor for almost 2 months now, and I start seeing a new therapist tomorrow. I'm tired of watching this other person live my life while I float aimlessly to the side. I'm tired of putting on a pretend smiley face in the presence of others because Timika is not allowed to be sad. Timika is not allowed to be depressed. Timika always has to take care of herself, no matter how broken she is.

I'm tired of people minimizing the severity of my mental prison. You think I don't want to be free? I'm dying inside, of course I want to be free! I claw desperately at the walls of my malfunctioning mind in hopes of reaching daylight. Yet in the last 8 months I have only succeeded in sinking deeper into the black chasm of my polluted world. I am exhausted. I am numb. My heart hardly feels anything anymore.

Again, I digress. Attention span of a jack russell...on with the photos.

Cinco de Mayo + cumpleanos celebrations + heart pounding car failures made Friday an action packed day in the life of Lady Croft. Our story begins with the obligatory pitcher of margaritas shared primarily by myself and (e:jenks), with a little help from (e:decoyisryan).



Since Cozumel was a bust due to overcrowding, Goodbar graciously fulfilled our need for beer and billiards.












The bouncer wouldn't let (e:paul) in the door, so the party moved to PMT, followed by cathode ray and pink, respectively.






(e:terry) shared a story which shocked and amazed (e:jenks)




(e:lilho) was not as impressed




(e:libertad) and (e:mike) were too busy smoochin' to care




but (e:tina) laughed




(e:terry) ripped up the pool table




then groped me as usual




prompting (e:mike) to begin his infamous self-exposure




(e:jenks) ended the night with this party trick - piercing a pepperoni through the heal of her shoe, twice... let me hear you say 'oooh ahhh'

I'm glad I'm not here:



Because this happened to me at 5:30am:



Basically my tire blew up and I have 3/4 of a piece of tread left to it. I was on the highway going 60 and BAM - my car turned into a psychotic missile on 3 wheels. I missed the concrete median by a fraction, shot wildly into the other lane, then back again- thankfully no other cars were around. I managed to guide the car to the side of the road.

I want to send my big shout out to (e:Mike) for rescuing me!!! You don't know how deeply I appreciate you! Also big thanks to (e:Libertad) for riding along. I'm sure picking up Lady Croft on the highway at 6:30am does not make your 'this is so cool' list...but I desperately needed help, and you aided me. Bless your hearts!

This will teach me not to procrastinate - I've been meaning to get AAA...

I have many photos from yesterday's festivities. For now I need to work on dealing with Aqua Mouse's recovery. Until then... be well my dear peeps. I shall post photos soon. Ciao.

Ok. So Happy 30th Birthdays go out to (e:Jenks) and (e:Codypomeray). Woohoo!

If you are in the Buffalo area and would like to join Jenks and friends in celebration, please head out to Cozumel (on Elmwood near Allen) starting at 7pm. Yep, it's early - but it's CINCO DE MAYO folks!

In personal news, my baby nephew Max is sick again. He had surgery to remove a lump on his neck last month. They have discovered two new lumps on his neck and he is back in the hospital again. Poor little guy. We are all stressed. If you say prayers, or well wishes...any would be greatly appreciated for the little man to get better soon.