No Swedes, No Turkey
Nov 20 4:59 PM US/EASTERN
By Joshua Larson
BSP Cultural and Political Editor

After 27 consecutive years of Thanksgiving Day dining amongst friends and family at the Larson family retreat in Jamestown, Jason and Joshua Larson are finding themselves out in the cold.

"I believe that this is an ill-conceived concept," said Joshua Larson after learning of the barren wasteland that will be his Thanksgiving Day plate. "I can't see how Dad is going to deal with Grandma during a 3-hour drive to the home of my uncle and leave us here in Buffalo because Jason has a rigid work commitment."

Jason Larson was too distraught to make a comment.

For years the Larson home has been a bountiful harvest of the flavors, colors, sights and smells of what is arguably one of the best holidays on the American calendar. One Buffalo resident and confidant of the Larsons, Mr. Gerald L. Vinciguerra Jr., is equally traumatized by what seems to be a lack of holiday flair at his own home.

"The Larsons might be getting their turkey on Saturday rather than Thursday, but at least it will be home made; I'll be sliding my turkey off of a buffet table at the Holiday Inn," remarked Vinciguerra.

Clearly disgruntled, Mr. Vinciguerra recalled the wistful, halcyon days of bountiful dessert tables, beautiful table settings and bursting belt buckles. "Apparently the 'old days' started 364 days after last Thanksgiving," Vinciguerra cooly remarked.

Hardly chefs, the Larson brothers will be forced to fend for themselves on Thanksgiving Day for the first time in their lives. Larson stated, "I have an idea of what to do here. I'm thinking about getting a pumpkin pie, some cornbread, some vegetables, some coffee, a marinated pork tenderloin and a shoulder to cry on."

I've pretty much avoided all of this so-called "drama" as a result of "the other Jason" aka "the new Jason" aka (e:jasoninbuffalo). While I have a streak of saying outrageous things, the last thing I've ever personally tried to do is actually stifle what is being said on another journal. As I've always said, if you don't like what I'm saying, I couldn't possibly care less and you are more than welcome to move along. I highly recommend that you, dear people, follow the same train of thought because your life will be far less stressful.

Some of you tried running off DT because you didn't necessarily like what he had to say. This represents the WORST of what this particular site can be. While I didn't start this blog site, I feel fairly comfortable in saying that this wasn't set up so that you can start your own little e-clique and vote people off the island that you do not like. That would make (e:strip) unsustainable in the long term and a completely hostile place to have a blog in the short term.

Leave (e:jasoninbuffalo) alone. If you don't like his blog it is well within your right to let him know it, but remember a few things - 1) Chances are high that you value your opinion more than he values your opinion; 2) You, by acting like an immature little prat, make yourself look far worse than the supposed "offender" writing the blog; 3) The entire problem can be avoided by simply taking the high road. Now, if you are utterly incapable of taking the high road, I would remind you that although you have a right to say what you like here, you do NOT have the right to try to limit what somebody has to say here, or otherwise attempt to run people off simply because you don't like them. The only person that truly has a claim to ownership here, (e:paul), has never done it. He's a sensible guy. Since he won't do it, you, as a participant, SURE AS HELL do not have a right to do it. Ok? Ok.

I nearly got run over by some white middle aged lady in an Audi stationwagon today while crossing Elmwood to go buy some dish soap - apparently being a white middle aged lady that drives an Audi makes you exempt from right of way rules.

Then the funniest and most stereotypical thing happened. I notice as I cross the street that she is going to Wilson Farms as well - nice! So I walk to the door, passing a black homeless guy who is standing by the door talking to himself. I look back through the door, and I notice that after the white lady in the Audi notices that she parked directly in front of the black homeless guy, she puts the car in reverse and drives away!

This, my dear friends, is a perfect example of what we don't want in our neighborhood, and as far as I'm concerned, is emblematic of ANY interest from suburbanite types in our neighborhood. Sure, our neighborhood is affluent and kitschy - many white middle aged ladies come to our neighborhood and deal with the eccentricities without batting an eyelash. I submit as evidence the white middle aged affluent ladies that stream in and out of Globe Market. I am sure that these ladies are Buffalo residents because anybody from Clarence simply could not deal with "colored folks" around their neighborhood, particularly people who are destitute.

What I saw today I found to be shocking but not terribly surprising. Buffalo is *the* most segregated city I've visited, and there isn't a major city in the United States that I haven't spent significant time in. We are segregated racially, economically and socially to such an extent that the white people from Clarence unwittingly expose their ignorance and intolerance of people who are either poorer or a different color - they simply cannot help it because they are so underexposed and used to their ideal and extremely sheltered environment in some cul de sac.

Memo to suburbanites - if you can't deal with it, then don't come down. If you are looking for an urban, sophisticated shopping mall then I suggest heading to Transit and pretending that you are in Buffalo and not Williamsville/Clarence. I hear that Sienna has a FABULOUS holiday menu, and hey - your kids at Willy South aren't going to have to come face to face with BLACK PEOPLE - and if they do, at least you know that in your district they aren't poor and you can chat with their parents (maybe, remember - they are black) about interior decorating ideas!

Oh yeah, and you people are FAKE ASS Sabres fans, too. We'll see you in three to five years when the team is average again..... right?

This is the definition of what a website should be, according to me -



Its clean and attractive looking, its extremely easy to navigate, it has a cool chanting sound and its about beer. Can I ask for more?

Still though. Abbey beer rocks and I'm a very thirsty man.

I think that the thing my father is the proudest of, concerning (e:jason) and I anyway, is the fact that we have a great love of music of all kinds. Most kinds of music, anyway.

Some of my fondest memories are of riding in my dad's white Oldsmobile 2-door listening to The Police, Phil Collins/Genesis (not that fucking 'Invisible Touch' crap), Peter Gabriel with or without Genesis, U2, Pink Floyd, Tori Amos, Yes, Supertramp, Frank Zappa, The Eurythmics, The Grateful Dead, Herbie Hancock, Fleetwood Mac, Miles Davis, The Alan Parsons Project - I've forgotten most of it but you catch the drift. Dad looooved Tori Amos. I think he found her very sexy, and she is - especially when you see her perform. But she was fucking freaky - not Annie Lennox crazy freaky, but just enough that you have to wonder whether or not you would 'take the plunge' if you had the chance. Anyway, I digress.

The best thing my father ever did for (e:jason) and I, and I think he would agree, is plant the music seed in us. He was an all-state caliber trumpet player when he was in high school and so we ended up being similarly killer musicians as well. I even enrolled at Fredonia to major in Music Composition (nobody knows that about me but now you do!) but promptly left to go to UB since it hit me that Music Comp wouldn't be the best career move. My knowledge of the classical repertoire is entirely my own - dad doesn't listen to much classical. I think his proudest moments are when he gives me music, which he does all the time knowing that its going to collect dust for a year, and after that year I come to him on my own and ask for more from particular artists.

Nowadays my father is in full bore hippie mode - tie dye and all. He is NEVER without tie dye. I actually have his rain stick and his didgeridoo. He would cut my throat if I tried to take his drums and other instruments. He is heavily into new age/world music, the newer jazzy stuff like MMW and jam band material. He is a 49 year old man that goes to hippie music festivals. He's seen Pink Floyd and The Grateful Dead, in original format, live. That is a fact that makes an extreme amount of jealousy boil up in me.

He votes Democrat and cannot understand for the life of him why I chose to register as a Republican at 18 - he wrote in big block letters "I'M AN ASSHOLE" over my brother's picture of President Bush.

His co-workers call him "The Big Kahuna," or simply "Kahuna." He can whistle so loud that he could almost puncture an ear drum if you stand too close. He is a single digit handicap golfer. He refers to my grandma by her first name. The raunchiest thing he has ever told me about was the infamous "Three Hole Tammy" story (if you don't catch the drift, it should be fairly obvious!). He gets tears in his eyes when he listens to my solos at the 1995 All-County Jazz Festival. Since I was first, he wisely named me after my grandfather; (e:jason) got the shaft in this regard and he LOVES IT when people ask him what his middle name is. (sarcasm, guys... sarcasm).

Obviously the man has had an enormous influence on me and I love him a great deal. He along with my grandparents laid the foundation for me to be the man that I am, and God willing, the father that I will be one day. The only thing that I wish he would have done is push a guitar into my hands when I was younger; this way, I would be a great player right now! When I have kids, I will encourage them to not only excel and participate in organized musical activity but strike out on their own as well; my world was classical for a long time but I think I would have been a better musician had I joined a band outside of school.

Looking at the evidence, if people had a choice between a 28-year old Josh and a 28-year old Mark, Mark would be cooler and get all the chicks. Luckily there is just enough of him in me that the chicks still like me (occasionally!). Anyway - here is my tribute to my father!