a.) king kong is a wierd movie

b.) i just got back from hardware in which my gay husband mortifed me by announcing (very loudly) that last semester he used to shart a good deal everytime he drank too much.

oh and our new years pics are up for the world to see. does anyone else find something disturbing in this one:

i just found out that tourettes guy (http://www.tourettesguy.com/), a man that has provided me with humor for months, is a fake. blah. i suppose it is still kinda funny that there is a person out there with the time on his hands to pretend he has tourettes.

so quitting isn't going to great. sunday and monday i had one for 24. tuesday all hell broke loose. broadway joes. i smoked a pack-ish.

i hadn't been to broadway joes since my roommate quit working there. it was like coming home. i had a great time. a lot of my best memories from college are there. every tuesday for years everyone i know was there. i love that place - as filthy and gross as it is. my junior year of college it was at its pinacle. my best friends band (Philly B-eats) would play every tuesday along others we knew. everyone would come out - it was like a house party for all my friend in the bar every week. relationships started and ended there. a lot of the people i still hang out with are from the original Blu/Broadway Joes group.

i got free regal passes from work. i wanted to go see munich. but i was outvited by jon simon for king kong. i don't think i am gonna make it sitting that long. i am going to sneak in snacks like a rebel mom.

well i am almost embarrassed to be writing right now. i am weak. weak weak weak. friday nite when i was drunk i smoked 3 cigarettes. saturday nite i smoked a few more. blah. last nite i got so excited over 24 i smoked another.

back to square 1.


last year i befriended a girl about my age here at work. we took to eachother quickly as we were a.) the only ones under 40 and b.) the only females in the department. at the time she was in a rough spot as she was living with an ex among other things. finally i convinced her to get out of the apartment. within a few months she got her own place and her own car. it made me so happy to watch this transformation. i could only imagine how hard this was for her as her entire family is in puerto rico. in this time also i convinced her to get on myspace ( and by 'convinced' i mean begged and pleaded.) she was very skeptical. a few days later a guy (a soldier) sent her a message. he requested her a friend. again - skeptical. she asked me what to do. i told her to go for it. i remember saying - "go for it, he is probably just bored. what is he going to do? he can't rape or murder you from Iraq."

this morning she told me they are getting married !


also - as for the party issue. i gave in. saturday nite at my place. byob. come celebrate the anniversary of my birth 24 years ago.

i just comtemplated for the past 10 minutes whether or not to put my address up. i decided against it. email me if you would like to drop in - the more the merrier.

okay i am 2 and a half days in.
last nite i almost did not survive. after spot it was so nice out wandering back down elmwood to 1039 with jon simon. he was chain smoking as usual. back at his house i sat in the tiny front room as him, tony and brian all chain smoked around me. i was dying. my hand hovered over the parliments thrown carelessly on the coffee table. but i stopped. i kept thinking of: a.) how chris would punch me in the face if i gave in before him and b.) how after all you gave me such nice advice and encouragment i would have to write today about how i gave in
so i didn't

tonite is going to be so hard. if anyone sees my smoking tonite grab it and burn me with it.


also. with my new sense of smell i noticed on the way to work this morning that my car smells suspicously of piss. this is very odd. i have had no dogs in my car, nor have i peed myself lately. in the past week i have had a lot of drunk people in and out of my car - jon simon, harrington, theresa, marla, dyan..... gross and gross.
this also may have something to do with the keying incident. yes someone keyed my car. i park in my garage...so god knows when and where it happened. i just noticed it yesterday. blah

my birthday is coming up soon and everyone is obsessing about throwing a theme party for it. in all honesty - i don't really want a party. i just want to go out to dinner and go for drinks after. everytime we have a party all i do worry about who is there and not there and people destroying my house. no one seems to be listening to me though when i say i don't want to have a party. i think they think i am being humble. i am not. but now i feel bad because everyone is all riled up about a strip club themed party in my honor. should i just give in and stop being such a stick in the mud?

44 hours smoke free.
i think i can do this.
this weekend will be the true test. not being at work and running errands - i love to smoke while driving. friday nite drinking. saturday nite in the pink at 3am....i don't know if i am going to make it. blah. the problem is i really don't want to quit. i am not in the mindset. I LOVE smoking. i know i know its gross. but i really do love it. i love smoking luckys and drinking espresso in the summer.

2 badass things happened today.
a.) my little brother called me to say:
"hey, jess - that david bowie guy you were talking about isn't so bad!"
he just turned 13. my other brothers and sisters listen to garbage - so hearing this was music to my ears.
b.) i won $100 to the galleria mall from my work. that means i have $250 to best buy,a $75 american express giftcard and this. i am so excited - i don't have any idea what to get though.


ok to the gym. then spot with jonsimon.