i have a friend i refer to as my gay husband. he is adorable, flamboyant, loving - but very co-dependent. he calls me (on average) anywhere from 3 to 10 times a day. usually the calls start around 8:30am as he knows i am getting ready for work. i am alright with this for the most part. i enjoy talking to him for the most part (except when he calls only to say he got a great parking spot.) regardless, the thing of it is, whenever i return his calls he never answers. sometimes he calls me back, sometimes not. i find this bizarre. my friend theresa compared it to the sex and the city episode where Big is dating the movie actress and says; "she can reach me, but i can NEVER reach her..." anyways, i find this an extermely unusual personality trait. any freshman psych majors care to analyze this for me?

one more test for me as a grown up tonite. i am supposed to take vendors out and schmooze them for work. but i really want to go to a show at kitchen distribution. damnit being old sucks.

In just 3 short weeks i leave for my 'tour de ex' as i have affectionately come to call it. i am flying to california to see 2 of the men in my life that affected me quite a bit. both i still remain friendly with. one on a goofy friendship level and one on a more serious level. i won some vouchers through work and since they live within an hour of each other i figured it would be a good opportunity to go see both. they both were friendly with each other in college and got along well. the thing is, they do not really know about each other from a 'me' standpoint. so the question is, is this reasonable to bring up to both before i go? do i have to tell both of them of my relationship with each? i know the answer. i do. but i am starting to feel like this trip could be a really bad idea. (all awkwardness of the duo aside) there are only a few logical outcomes:

a.) i go and don't come back
b.) i go and come back crushed

on the other hand i suppose i can just go and snowboard and surf and relax and see redwoods and pig out and shop and come back happy and relaxed.
either way, i probably wont speak of this again.. oddly enough the only one - even including my closest friends, that knows the whole story is (e:thecarey) who i tortured with a mini-synopsis weeks ago. so, carey, i am going.

anyways. drama aside....
first they took away my myspace - now my aim. my work is really cracking down. if they block estrip i may die. no joke. i need contact with the outside world! i can only send so many text messages a day.

i must be having an excellent voice day. a good portion of the men i have spoken to on the phone today at work have hit on me. i find this so funny. i mean really. we are at work - i realize it gets boring - but what do they think i am going to do? drop everything, move to india or new hampshire or santa ana or whatever sales office they are calling me from and give in to their promises of 4 door sedans and p.f changs? one guy seriously asked if he could 'facebook' me. ew.

is it pathetic i cried/hyperventilated at 24 last nite?

disturbing news this afternoon.
i am not going to sit here and write about my views on abortion - no one really wants to read that, and i am sure you can guess what it is. but be aware...this is a scary, scary thing, people.

on a lighter note. my favorite question on the artvoice pole is "favorite corner." this has been holding up my entry. i am toggling between a few. its funny, because i have 3 different corners on elmwood. i can not think of anywhere else in buffalo that would have prize worthy corners. i love bird and elmwood because it is right by my house. i am there all the time. i always run into people there. i love we never close and the liquor store and the poster shop. i like mr. pizza. and a good portion of my friends live within eyesite. i also love the spot/globe/new world corner. see my dilemma? what is everyone else's favorite corner? and seriously...does anyone have one off elmwood, perhaps off sheridan in tonowanda? i mean really.

i hope i used 'toggling' correctly there. it has recently come to my attention i have terrible grammar and spelling. how embarrassing. this is what happens when you graduate, i suppose. i changed my quote in my myspace to say "i have terrible grammer." not even knowing i spelled grammar incorrectly. i should have let people believe i was doing it to be funny.

i have an unnatural obsession with suduko. i go through several puzzles a day now.i think about it all the time. at first i picked it up because i thought it would make me smarter. but in reality i think it literally has made me retarded. i can not concentrate on my day to day activities. this is why i have not written in a while - no joke. please help me.

also. booking airline flights has to be one of the most annoying things in the world. i got a bunch of AMEX gift cheqeus from work that i wanted to use towards my cali trip. but apparently you can only use those if you buy your flight at the terminal. if i buy my flight at the terminal - rather then online - it costs $200 more. seriously. i have been going back and forth on this for about 4 hours. i give up. i am going to take another week off from work and just hitch out there.

i seriously just ate a piece of chocolate cake, a plate full of home fries with franks hot, a donut, apple juice and 2 mountain dews. this is another bad thing about coporate america. there is always free food. there is always donuts and birthday cake. whoever said there isn't such a thing as a free lunch is full of crap. although i suppose my payment is the 15lbs i have gained since working here. i'm not going to fit in my coporate cas'.

now i am seriously considering lunch. the menu today looks pretty good:


i got another speeding ticket last nite. i seriously have the worst car luck. i SWEAR i wasn't even speeding. i would admit it. i didn't even have enough time to get goin - i was just pulling out of the gym. the person in front of me pulled over too - and when i pulled aside he drove away. it was him. i know it. blah. the cop was so cliche too. his name was Quigley and looked like Jerry Stiller. how many tickets can i get til i lose my license?


in the time i wrote this i also just got a piece of eggplant parmeson.