this weekend i realized i was officially old.
at the 1039 party [inlink]jacksmack,26[/inlink] this weekend i was waiting in the bathroom line behind several (suspiciously young looking) girls. they were engaged in what seemed a fairly intense conversation on how their friend was a "hollaback girl." now i have heard the song of course - but i have never heard humans use this in actually context. i had no idea what they were even talking about. i don't even know what a hollaback girl is! upon relaying this story to (e:jacksmack) the next day he advised me that i had no idea what the definition was because i am old. of course neither did he - so i didn't feel so bad.

i think the highlight of my weekend was getting a new set of couches via my mom. finally i can rest easy on my own couch. the pair we had before did not offer comfort whatsoever. the one was stained in puke (and god knows what else) and up on blocks. the other we received from a random hippie off the street and it was missing the bottom, so in fact the cushions were resting on a tangled web of wires and one plank of wood board which in fact broke in half not too long. mmm i can't wait to go home and watch 24 on them.

that information on the tunnel to the pink and (e:robin)'s pictures really peaked my interest. this weekend i did some more digging. i found out that in the 1920's they covered up approximately 5 miles of the scajacquada river to make room for more houses. there is literally an underground river passing under a good portion of the city. not really as Ghostbusters 2 as you would think though. the water level is pretty low. you can walk through most of it. which is almost scarier. one of the entries is right at Forest Lawn Cementary. anyone up for a little adventure when the weather is warmer?

i decided this weekend that i really hate merlins. it has made it in my top ten list of over hates, along with cats and starter jackets. it smells very badly in there, the bartender is very mean and the pool table is illly placed.

i saw transamerica on monday. very well done...felicity huffman is amazing in it. i think the best part of the movie, though, is when you pay with a $10 bill at the north park theater you get a $2 bill as change!

this is one of those crazy weeks where i can't say no to anything. after the movie monday, me and theresa wandered over to sidebar where my roommate was. there was an open bar and free pizza. my kinda nite. they even let me control the music in which i mixed up splashdown, charlie parker, the cure and broken social scene. had a good conversation with some girl about spain. my have ruined my chances with another guy when he overheard me giving the telnet address for the entire starwars movie in code.
last nite my roommate and i stopped into broadway joes and indulged in some $2 pitchers. tonite we'll go to luna as normal. tomorrow ill be a the sabres game. full week. but it makes it go faster.

one of my girlfriends made an AMAZING dvd for me for my birthday with interviews and pictures and what not. most of the actual footage is from my birthday party - and most of it is ridiculous. (aka theresa talking about how i am a very agressive skater and some guy from my high who claims i was his favorite track runner because he could watch my 'jumblys' go up and down.) there is a shot of a group of (e:strip)pers taking over my living room and a really funny shot of what looks like 2 of you rolling a joint - but when zoomed in it is a brain teaser puzzle you are playing with. after the superbowl i made everyone watch this 3 times back to back. it plays the allman brother 'jessica' in the background for part of it, as i was named after this song. i wish i could find a way to load it on here....

my boss chose to stop and talk to me while i was reading (e:paul)'s journal. i got yelled at for looking at artillery smut.


oh man this is totally a mundane entry that was being referred to in other posts. sorry. i will follow this up with something scandalous - i swear.

i wonder if the interior condition of my car says anything about my personality. i know i have written about my car being a landfill before...but i took a survey today:
-16 empty packs of parliments
-3 empty packs of camels
-8 empty mountain dew bottles
-4 empty red bull cans
-2 half eaten boxes of girl scout cookies
-4 scarves
-1 pair of ferragamo vintage flats
-1 pair gray sauconys
-1 pair black flip flops
-approx 178 atm reciepts
-2 copies of salingers "nine stories" (why i have 2 i am still not sure)
-7 artvoices
-2 empty saranac bottles
-parking passes from:
* the downtown garage off chippewea -9
*the parking lot off monroe ave in rochester -3
*the VIP parking lot at darien lake - 6


this was an overview. i didn't even venture to the trunk or under the seats. my roommate calls me a slob - but i prefer archivist. i don't care when people complain about sitting in the back seat. it is my shit and its staying back there. i like it there. i might need those girl scout cookies if i ever get stranded somewhere.


jon simon is dragging me to some show tonite on filllmore. if anyone knows what this is please let me know.



my friends becky and dave decided to drive to pauxatoney yesterday morning. they have kept me updated via phone:

yesterday -12:22pm: "we are drunk in pauxatoney! it is awesome here! woohooo!"

yesterday -2:58pm: "people in gobblers knob have an accent. its wierd."

yesterday -6:45pm: "we are playing groundhog bingo! you have to yell 'GROUNDHOG!'...and i won a groundhog shaped basket! we are bringing you back a groundhog sweatshirt!"

yesterday -9:52pm: "we are soooo bored i don't know how we are going to make it all nite...this place fuckin sucks"

i lost contact after that. more updates later from the remainder of their trip.

well i think groundhogs day is my equivalent to friday the 13th. i had a really, really bizarre day.

first of all. i found out that my best man friend is actually on (e:strip). granted, he only has like 3 entries...but still. my jon simon is really (e:jacksmack). about as weird as when i found out keith was (e:keith).

ok that isn't that weird - but i am getting to the good stuff.


weird thing #1:
ok this is really awful - but apparently a girl with the same name as me is a baby killer. i have never heard of anyone else with same name as me - and this first one has to be for something like this. people were emailing this article to me all day:


weird thing #2:
ok this is vaguely embarrassing on my part. yesterday on the way to work i was scanning through the radio. i happen to catch the tail end of a conversation in which they were discussing the subway tunnels. this intrigues me. ( i am obsessed with mole people.) . i wanted to know more. the embarrassing part is that i was listening to shredd and regan. when i got to work i emailed mr. shredd:

---

Original Message

---

From: coleman8227@aol.com [mailto:coleman8227@aol.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 02, 2006 10:36 AM
To: Shredd@wedg.com
Subject: subway tunnels and breasts


hey guys -
i caught the end of you talking about subway tunnels under the pink this morning and it has been driving me nuts. what were you talking about? i am intrigued? can you send me a link or something?

thanks,

jessica coleman


i entitled it as i did because i wanted something to get his attention. i figured with all the email they must receive he wouldn't read it with out a catchy subject line. i got this 10 minutes later:

From: Ted Shredd
To: coleman8227@aol.com
Subject: RE: subway tunnels and breasts
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006 11:16:47 -0500

I don't know of a link. I guess there are a series of tunnels under Buffalo that were used during Prohibition, and one goes from The Pink to the subway on Main. By the way your message subject said tunnels and breasts. Where do the breasts come into this?

weird thing #3
apparently the shredster doesn't get as much email as i thought. my dad called me tens minutes later questioning as to why i was emailing shredd about my breasts. apparently they mentioned on air and used my full name. i should claimed the baby killer sent it. god now people think i listen to shred and reagan.


went to see this show last nite with (e:jacksmack) and paul. (speaking of paul there is a beamer show tonite at merlins you all should be at.) it was at the polish social club on filmore. actually it was a lot of fun. awesome beer selection for very cheap. jon was telling me how the last time he had been was after the mass nude photo taken at the train station. i launched into a story of my old boss and how he took his daughters to that, about his lazy eye and about how weird he was. not a few minutes later - i kid you not - my old boss strolled in. into a fairly hardcore show at the polish social club.

goes to show you have to be careful what you say in public. buffalo is a smaller town then we think! everyone is listening.

also i finally talked to my crush. he came up and asked what my problem was because i was staring at him last nite. apparently i am creepier then i thought. regardless, he asked if (e:jacksmack) was my boyfriend. i said no. upon hearing this (e:jacksmack) replied, "no, no you can fuck her if you want." (nice, nice friend.) the guy actually replied, "cool. can i fuck you too?" blah, he's part of the movement. what a disappointment.

AT&T is basically telling google that they better pay up or AT&T customers won't be able to reach their site. sounds like extortion to me. total double dipping.



on the brighter side of things, i also found the funniest website ever. someone apparently found a bunch of weightwatchers recipe cards in their basement and scanned them. they are hysterical.


this morning i woke up to the suspicious smell of paint. when i walked out the door to go to my car i spotted splatters of orange spray paint all over the driveway. i am nervous (considering my housemates) where this is from. hopefully i didn't drive to work this morning with a large orange penis on the passengers side of my car.

oh - also my lunch special made it to the menu today in the cafeteria. it is called the "Little Jessica." it may have been my proudest moment when i overheard someone ordering it. what the little jessica consists of is grilled peppers, onions, and mushrooms, cheese, diced veggie burger, cheese and tons of hot sauce in a wrap. yum... i am a genius.