So I go to the place today to engage in therapy to help my depression. I get there about 10 minutes late today. Who knows why. I had to take a shit. Anyway I get there and the guy tells me, "You know Jason you should really try to be on time - I'm supposed to just boot you from the program if you're late."

WHAT MOTHERFUCKER?!?!? WHAT?!?!

How about every damn time I go there, and have to wait, and wait, and wait, and pick up the Newsweek, and wait some more. If I judged them the same way they judged me, I would have booted their ass on DAY MOTHERFUCKING ONE. This is my first ever time being late, so why the fucking harsh treatment?

So tomorrow I make up my appointment at 10:30.

In continuing with the discussion prompted by (e:Joshua) -

I've looked at the SF Gate article, and it is incredibly illuminating. Sometimes I really do wonder what is in the water on the left coast. The first thing I will say is something everyone should be able to agree on - First Amendment rights are not limited only to what we personally agree with. Time and again we see people representing all political affiliations who forget this fundamental American truth. Liberals fight tooth and nail to defend Ward Churchill's crazy speech, and the next minute work just as hard to silence equally nutty fundamentalists. Fundamentalists think it's okay to call homosexuality a sign of the end times, and yet protest over themes in our popular culture. Where is the consistency? Where is the respect for the First Amendement, and fundamental rights that we all share? With that in mind, I won't call either group "mine" as I can't respect either one.

Here are some interesting tidbits I took from the article:

1) The SF board of directors, in denouncing the Christian protestors, called the protest an event to "negatively influence the politics of America's most tolerant and progressive city." The irony cuts like a hot knife through butter!

2) Assemblyman Mark Leno (D), in true tolerant San Francisco fashion, says of the Christians "they're loud, they're obnoxious, they're disgusting, and they should get out of San Francisco." Read the article to find more nuggets of tolerance from San Francisco residents.

3) The word "fascist," which (e:Uncutsaniflush) correctly indentifies as a horribly diluted, school yard taunt, almost as bad as the word "Orwellian," is again brought out by the left to describe something they can't understand or relate to. What about the "eco-fascists" who blow up SUVs, home developments, and support taxing gasoline even more, to force Americans to live according to their vision? I'm sure we'll see an official statement from Mr. Leno any day now.

4) The Christian fundies use the word "war" a hell of a lot in describing the conflict they have with America's popular culture. Remember, these ARE fringe fundies, and I'm not being flippant. I'm beginning to wonder when Christian fundies will adopt a similar action plan to the Islamic fundies world wide. I wonder if SF will go down in a blaze of "holy justice."

5) Hypocrisy is something that lives on, and resolutely stays in every human heart and mind. It doesn't matter what stripes you bear, you are a fucking hypocrite.

Jason

Our cousin Rusty passed the other day. He was 47. He was a good man and a good father, and hilariously funny (much like myself). Like Billy Joel said, Only the Good Die Young!

Some of you may remember how heartbroken I was that I lost my long lost sister's phone number, so I couldn't get a hold of her. I was so upset, besides myself. Well I finally found the number and gave it a ring tonight.

ERRR ERRR...the number you have dialed is not in service anymore.

So I spent some time trying to use the web as a resource to find her. I called a half dozen Diane Marsh characters tonight and none of them was her. After a while, the "Oops, I'm sorry" speech to the aggrieved became canned. Tonight I've been absolutely inconsolable, and alone, and with a phone out of battery. So I choose to go online to say how I feel. I desperately want to connect with my family.

Eventually I decided I would try my mother, the first among many women who threw me away and didn't want me. It turns out she is indeed in Jamestown, so next week I am going to show up at her door and confront her. She is the reason I have so many deeply rooted issues when it comes to women. Plus she is possibly the only way I can get a hold of Diane.

I only have one memory of my mother, in Pre-School when she came to see us, and we went to get some candy. I remember being in the candy store, and I picked something out and she was like hell no. I don't recall even recognizing her as mom, only as some lady who wanted to hang out with Josh and I. I thought she was mean.

Then one day at home when Josh and I were in our early teens, Mother called and I would not speak to her. Josh did, and he told me Mom said she thinks about us every day. Bullshit, I thought, absolute bullshit. I held a grudge....

....at least until tonight. I can't go on through life not talking to Mother. I can't imagine getting married and not having my Mother there to see it. I have a whole half of a family which is a complete mystery. Diane stuck her neck out to get a hold of us and I owe it to her to find her, no matter the cost, even if I have to face up to the things, and the people, which have hurt me the most.

At least I didn't almost piss in the garbage today.

Jason

I've written about this story before. I have another semi-rant to spew about it:



Things like this really make me wish I was born a female. Again I'll say it, whoever told you it's a man's world is truly an idiot.

Who are the most vulnerable people in our society? Enron investors? The working poor? No, the answer to the question is: Children.

I've known for a long time that there is no such thing as equal justice in this country. Rich people get away with murder (literally), The famous can do basically whatever they want, white people get away with shit that black people could never get away with. Now we know that if you are a female you can get away with rape. Just tell them you are too pretty to go to jail, and that you are in therapy. Because that argument always works when a man has the spotlight on him. This country is filled to the brim with legal double standards.

Is this the kind of place you want to live? What if it was YOUR kid that got raped? When will Americans forget about their own piece of the pie in this matter and become unified against our inequal system of justice?