At first I was going to talk about dating bloopers, after reminiscing over some very funny (and stupid) things I've done in my time. Then something occured to me, a comment (e:Ajay) wrote on my MySpace profile - something denouncing my self-proclaimed flirting glory. It occured to me, and you don't hear me say this often, (e:Ajay), so enjoy it - you are absolutely correct! So I want to encourage everyone to share their stories.
Before I start, if anyone is interested, yes Jerry and I are absolutely rampant in Dart League, after our 0-2 start. We are in top form right now.
The first thing I said to my last girlfriend - "You don't like your nose, do you?"
What I said to a girl last Tuesday, after she told me she didn't talk to me the previous week because she was seeing off a good friend - "Oh, I just thought you were being bitchy."
What I said to 2 girls in Florida who bummed cigs from me, and then asked me what else I was up to that night - "You have your cigs, now leave me alone!"
What I said to a girl who blew me off one night, and on the phone said "We'll go out tomorrow! I want to see you!" - "Screw you, you blew me off, I was embarrassed. Only call if you're actually going to follow through." (Friends of mine will find this highly ironic)
Then there was the time in college I was in my girlfriend's bed, and ripped out a GIANT fart while asleep, as well as a few aftershocks. It woke me up from a stone cold sleep, and I thought "Damn if she can live through that she's a keeper."
Jason
Jason's Journal
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03/20/2006 14:20 #23641
Flirting Bloopers And Other FunCategory: fun
03/15/2006 17:03 #23640
Anyone catch Matisyahu?Category: music
I heard there was a listening event at Third Room. Was he there? Did anyone go?
jenks - 03/15/06 18:10
when? I got invited to something a month ago or so, but then it was sold out...
when? I got invited to something a month ago or so, but then it was sold out...
03/10/2006 07:41 #23639
Ok, CupidCategory: potpourri
I am - The Pool Boy. Sounds fine. Sounds better than Brutal Sex Whore with shaky ass morals. Pool Boy for hire!
ladycroft - 03/13/06 20:44
i'm the nurse
i'm the nurse
03/02/2006 15:29 #23638
Caption TimeCategory: fun
I see my approval rating is 100% - that is very nice to know. Maybe I will consider running for office! Anyway, I found this little nugget and thought it would be fun to make captions. I'll go first!
"Screw the facts! Screw the Constitution! I've made my choice, nudge me in 30 minutes."
"Justice Ginsburg is busy looking for her facial features, which apparently slid off and onto the desk.
"Screw the facts! Screw the Constitution! I've made my choice, nudge me in 30 minutes."
"Justice Ginsburg is busy looking for her facial features, which apparently slid off and onto the desk.
03/01/2006 12:13 #23637
Jason's Approval PollCategory: poll
Here's a poll that is actually worthwhile - the Jason Approval Poll.
Do you approve of Jason?
Do you approve of Jason?
jenks - 03/02/06 19:08
I approve of jason 87%.
I approve of jason 87%.
leetee - 03/01/06 23:11
I approve and support who you are, (e:Jason).
In your darkest hour, when and if you are ever doubting yourself, know that i am a big supporter of you, (e:Jason). You are a good, decent, kind, sensitive (just like me, that's why i can see it in you), funny, fun, caring, loving person who deserves all the best that life has to offer. Your opinions count and they matter. So if i never say it again (and i hope that doesn't happen), know that i am always silently supporting and approving of you.
I approve and support who you are, (e:Jason).
In your darkest hour, when and if you are ever doubting yourself, know that i am a big supporter of you, (e:Jason). You are a good, decent, kind, sensitive (just like me, that's why i can see it in you), funny, fun, caring, loving person who deserves all the best that life has to offer. Your opinions count and they matter. So if i never say it again (and i hope that doesn't happen), know that i am always silently supporting and approving of you.
lilho - 03/01/06 21:00
ur an okay kid.
ur an okay kid.
metalpeter - 03/01/06 19:35
I Approve
I Approve
uncutsaniflush - 03/01/06 19:24
aye
aye
ladycroft - 03/01/06 16:33
you're my friend, you've already been approved.
you're my friend, you've already been approved.
hodown - 03/01/06 13:25
I approve.
I approve.
joshua - 03/01/06 13:08
I have no choice. I'm stuck with you! Haha.
I have no choice. I'm stuck with you! Haha.
Hmm. Well I don't think I've done TOO many asshole things to others, but there are some I'm not proud of- in college i had a big crush on this upperclassman... and at a party we were talking... I was oblivious to how wasted he was (which was of course the only reason he was talking to me). But eventually he suggested "getting out of here." I was pretty psyched... so we walked out, he had his arm around me... Perfect! Dream come true! He was swaying a little.... then said 'hold on a sec'- and walked over to a trash can and puked. (hot.) And- I still went home with him. Yeah. Proud moment.
once while fucking an ex I told him "get off of me, I'm bored."
Probably my worst faux pas was interrupting sex to trim a hangnail. Hey! It was really bugging me! And the sex wasn't that good either. Besides a hangnail can be dangerous in certain situations. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
Hmmmm..."Austin's Dating Highlight Reel", eh? To preface all of this...I'm mostly ashamed of all of these incidents and I think I have grown and learned from them.
Let me see....
Item #1: I was attending a rugby function with a girl I was seeing. She was the type who doesn't go in for some of the shenanigans that often happen at these events (getting naked, excessive drinking/noise, swearing, smoking, vulgar songs...generally a good blue-collar sort of time). Well, of course she wanted to "escape" early (in all fairness, I guess early makes it sound bad...it was 11...we had been there since 7...my plan was to be there until 4am), I didn't want to, and drunk me then "makes the rounds" of all my friends (with girl in tow), announcing, "Yeah..sorry...I know, I wanted to stay too, but she needs to be 'taken care of'. *wink*".
Yeah..stellar...just stellar...lesson learned there when I was sleeping on the couch.
Item #2: I was on the phone, discussing just how much I didn't enjoy receiving oral sex from a particular girl I was dating at the time with a friend. (no..that wasn't the sole purpose of the conversation, but it came up...) and I get a beep on the call-waiting. It's said girl. "Yeah...I had a great time the other night, but I'm on the phone with Frank..can I give you a call right back? Okay..bye......*click*....So, yeah...she's AWFUL...seriously...I've gotten better head from a virgin! *silence* *female voice* WHAT?!!.....*expletives etc*"
Another shining moment.....
Item #3: Short and sweet.... "Listen, 'Lisa' (name changed), you're a really great girl....but you're ugly...seriously...just not attractive at all...please leave me alone." (In my defense: 1) I was drunk and probably high [this was back in college] and 2) She just wouldn't leave me alone...she'd get drunk and call me and get all mopey and weepy and I really didn't like her.....)
There are others...but those are the first that popped into my mind....maybe drop a few more in later...