Our cousin Rusty passed the other day. He was 47. He was a good man and a good father, and hilariously funny (much like myself). Like Billy Joel said, Only the Good Die Young!
Jason's Journal
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03/24/2006 09:28 #23644
RIP Cousin Rusty!Category: death
03/22/2006 00:04 #23643
Sister RecapCategory: family
Some of you may remember how heartbroken I was that I lost my long lost sister's phone number, so I couldn't get a hold of her. I was so upset, besides myself. Well I finally found the number and gave it a ring tonight.
ERRR ERRR...the number you have dialed is not in service anymore.
So I spent some time trying to use the web as a resource to find her. I called a half dozen Diane Marsh characters tonight and none of them was her. After a while, the "Oops, I'm sorry" speech to the aggrieved became canned. Tonight I've been absolutely inconsolable, and alone, and with a phone out of battery. So I choose to go online to say how I feel. I desperately want to connect with my family.
Eventually I decided I would try my mother, the first among many women who threw me away and didn't want me. It turns out she is indeed in Jamestown, so next week I am going to show up at her door and confront her. She is the reason I have so many deeply rooted issues when it comes to women. Plus she is possibly the only way I can get a hold of Diane.
I only have one memory of my mother, in Pre-School when she came to see us, and we went to get some candy. I remember being in the candy store, and I picked something out and she was like hell no. I don't recall even recognizing her as mom, only as some lady who wanted to hang out with Josh and I. I thought she was mean.
Then one day at home when Josh and I were in our early teens, Mother called and I would not speak to her. Josh did, and he told me Mom said she thinks about us every day. Bullshit, I thought, absolute bullshit. I held a grudge....
....at least until tonight. I can't go on through life not talking to Mother. I can't imagine getting married and not having my Mother there to see it. I have a whole half of a family which is a complete mystery. Diane stuck her neck out to get a hold of us and I owe it to her to find her, no matter the cost, even if I have to face up to the things, and the people, which have hurt me the most.
At least I didn't almost piss in the garbage today.
Jason
ERRR ERRR...the number you have dialed is not in service anymore.
So I spent some time trying to use the web as a resource to find her. I called a half dozen Diane Marsh characters tonight and none of them was her. After a while, the "Oops, I'm sorry" speech to the aggrieved became canned. Tonight I've been absolutely inconsolable, and alone, and with a phone out of battery. So I choose to go online to say how I feel. I desperately want to connect with my family.
Eventually I decided I would try my mother, the first among many women who threw me away and didn't want me. It turns out she is indeed in Jamestown, so next week I am going to show up at her door and confront her. She is the reason I have so many deeply rooted issues when it comes to women. Plus she is possibly the only way I can get a hold of Diane.
I only have one memory of my mother, in Pre-School when she came to see us, and we went to get some candy. I remember being in the candy store, and I picked something out and she was like hell no. I don't recall even recognizing her as mom, only as some lady who wanted to hang out with Josh and I. I thought she was mean.
Then one day at home when Josh and I were in our early teens, Mother called and I would not speak to her. Josh did, and he told me Mom said she thinks about us every day. Bullshit, I thought, absolute bullshit. I held a grudge....
....at least until tonight. I can't go on through life not talking to Mother. I can't imagine getting married and not having my Mother there to see it. I have a whole half of a family which is a complete mystery. Diane stuck her neck out to get a hold of us and I owe it to her to find her, no matter the cost, even if I have to face up to the things, and the people, which have hurt me the most.
At least I didn't almost piss in the garbage today.
Jason
jenks - 03/23/06 19:10
Good luck jason... Happy to help in any way I can. I can only imagine how hard that is.
Good luck jason... Happy to help in any way I can. I can only imagine how hard that is.
paul - 03/22/06 10:32
good luck
good luck
leetee - 03/22/06 10:29
((((( Jason ))))))
If there is anything i can do to help or lend support in any way, do not hesitate to ask. You have my number. :O)
((((( Jason ))))))
If there is anything i can do to help or lend support in any way, do not hesitate to ask. You have my number. :O)
uncutsaniflush - 03/22/06 09:46
you are a brave guy jason. I hope you can find the peace and healing that you seek.
you are a brave guy jason. I hope you can find the peace and healing that you seek.
ladycroft - 03/22/06 01:37
:)
:)
03/21/2006 16:05 #23642
LeFave Gets Off! And Not In A Good Way!Category: rape
I've written about this story before. I have another semi-rant to spew about it:
Things like this really make me wish I was born a female. Again I'll say it, whoever told you it's a man's world is truly an idiot.
Who are the most vulnerable people in our society? Enron investors? The working poor? No, the answer to the question is: Children.
I've known for a long time that there is no such thing as equal justice in this country. Rich people get away with murder (literally), The famous can do basically whatever they want, white people get away with shit that black people could never get away with. Now we know that if you are a female you can get away with rape. Just tell them you are too pretty to go to jail, and that you are in therapy. Because that argument always works when a man has the spotlight on him. This country is filled to the brim with legal double standards.
Is this the kind of place you want to live? What if it was YOUR kid that got raped? When will Americans forget about their own piece of the pie in this matter and become unified against our inequal system of justice?
Things like this really make me wish I was born a female. Again I'll say it, whoever told you it's a man's world is truly an idiot.
Who are the most vulnerable people in our society? Enron investors? The working poor? No, the answer to the question is: Children.
I've known for a long time that there is no such thing as equal justice in this country. Rich people get away with murder (literally), The famous can do basically whatever they want, white people get away with shit that black people could never get away with. Now we know that if you are a female you can get away with rape. Just tell them you are too pretty to go to jail, and that you are in therapy. Because that argument always works when a man has the spotlight on him. This country is filled to the brim with legal double standards.
Is this the kind of place you want to live? What if it was YOUR kid that got raped? When will Americans forget about their own piece of the pie in this matter and become unified against our inequal system of justice?
uncutsaniflush - 03/22/06 09:44
jason,
I agree with you 100% with you that she is trying to mask her guilt with facade of being bi-polar.
(e:leetee) and I saw bits of a news conference with Lafave and both of us thought what the hell does being bi-polar have to do with having sex with one of your students? Even if she wasn't med compliant, unless she had a psychotic episode, which she isn't claiming AFAIK, her bi-polar disorder is irrelevant.
I also agree with you that she is doing the mentally ill everywhere by linking her sexual predator behaviour with organic mental illness.
jason,
I agree with you 100% with you that she is trying to mask her guilt with facade of being bi-polar.
(e:leetee) and I saw bits of a news conference with Lafave and both of us thought what the hell does being bi-polar have to do with having sex with one of your students? Even if she wasn't med compliant, unless she had a psychotic episode, which she isn't claiming AFAIK, her bi-polar disorder is irrelevant.
I also agree with you that she is doing the mentally ill everywhere by linking her sexual predator behaviour with organic mental illness.
jason - 03/22/06 00:11
Hi Walt,
You raise many good points. I don't blame the judge for rejecting a plea deal that would keep her out of prison. I also don't blame the kid, how could we, for not wanting the spotlight on him. I don't blame either, in fact I think given their options they couldn't do much.
I think it's the system, and our own collective thought on the matter, that fails us, and the children in cases like this. It's not like the facts weren't evident - it wasn't in question whether or not the kid got raped.
Also - it is well known I have depression. I have a mental illness. How dare this fucking bitch, and her piece of shit lawyer, incinuate that if she wasn't bipolar she wouldn't have made the same choice. Fuck everyone who makes that excuse. I, and millions of other people, live with mental illness and never does it cross our minds to fuck a child. It makes me want to go all vigilante justice and put bullets in their heads when they make that excuse, and it actually flies.
Hi Walt,
You raise many good points. I don't blame the judge for rejecting a plea deal that would keep her out of prison. I also don't blame the kid, how could we, for not wanting the spotlight on him. I don't blame either, in fact I think given their options they couldn't do much.
I think it's the system, and our own collective thought on the matter, that fails us, and the children in cases like this. It's not like the facts weren't evident - it wasn't in question whether or not the kid got raped.
Also - it is well known I have depression. I have a mental illness. How dare this fucking bitch, and her piece of shit lawyer, incinuate that if she wasn't bipolar she wouldn't have made the same choice. Fuck everyone who makes that excuse. I, and millions of other people, live with mental illness and never does it cross our minds to fuck a child. It makes me want to go all vigilante justice and put bullets in their heads when they make that excuse, and it actually flies.
uncutsaniflush - 03/21/06 20:14
jason,
according the story you posted the reason the additional charges were dropped was because the victim didn't want to testify and without his testify the prosecution didn't think it had a case.
The judge in the case refused to accept a plea bargain would have avoided jailtime for Lafave. He wrote in his decision: ""Quite frankly, if the allegations against the defendant are true, the agreed-upon sentence shocks the conscience of this court."
That doesn't sound like he wasn't taking the charges seriously. The judge wanted the case to go to trial.
Given this scenerio, what do you think the prosecution should have done?
Should have they ignored the rights of the victim and forced him to testify at trial?
Should have they gone on with a trial even though they didn't think they had a case?
Should have the judge accepted a plea bargain that kept Lafave out of prison?
What would the right thing to do in this case be?
jason,
according the story you posted the reason the additional charges were dropped was because the victim didn't want to testify and without his testify the prosecution didn't think it had a case.
The judge in the case refused to accept a plea bargain would have avoided jailtime for Lafave. He wrote in his decision: ""Quite frankly, if the allegations against the defendant are true, the agreed-upon sentence shocks the conscience of this court."
That doesn't sound like he wasn't taking the charges seriously. The judge wanted the case to go to trial.
Given this scenerio, what do you think the prosecution should have done?
Should have they ignored the rights of the victim and forced him to testify at trial?
Should have they gone on with a trial even though they didn't think they had a case?
Should have the judge accepted a plea bargain that kept Lafave out of prison?
What would the right thing to do in this case be?
03/20/2006 14:20 #23641
Flirting Bloopers And Other FunCategory: fun
At first I was going to talk about dating bloopers, after reminiscing over some very funny (and stupid) things I've done in my time. Then something occured to me, a comment (e:Ajay) wrote on my MySpace profile - something denouncing my self-proclaimed flirting glory. It occured to me, and you don't hear me say this often, (e:Ajay), so enjoy it - you are absolutely correct! So I want to encourage everyone to share their stories.
Before I start, if anyone is interested, yes Jerry and I are absolutely rampant in Dart League, after our 0-2 start. We are in top form right now.
The first thing I said to my last girlfriend - "You don't like your nose, do you?"
What I said to a girl last Tuesday, after she told me she didn't talk to me the previous week because she was seeing off a good friend - "Oh, I just thought you were being bitchy."
What I said to 2 girls in Florida who bummed cigs from me, and then asked me what else I was up to that night - "You have your cigs, now leave me alone!"
What I said to a girl who blew me off one night, and on the phone said "We'll go out tomorrow! I want to see you!" - "Screw you, you blew me off, I was embarrassed. Only call if you're actually going to follow through." (Friends of mine will find this highly ironic)
Then there was the time in college I was in my girlfriend's bed, and ripped out a GIANT fart while asleep, as well as a few aftershocks. It woke me up from a stone cold sleep, and I thought "Damn if she can live through that she's a keeper."
Jason
Before I start, if anyone is interested, yes Jerry and I are absolutely rampant in Dart League, after our 0-2 start. We are in top form right now.
The first thing I said to my last girlfriend - "You don't like your nose, do you?"
What I said to a girl last Tuesday, after she told me she didn't talk to me the previous week because she was seeing off a good friend - "Oh, I just thought you were being bitchy."
What I said to 2 girls in Florida who bummed cigs from me, and then asked me what else I was up to that night - "You have your cigs, now leave me alone!"
What I said to a girl who blew me off one night, and on the phone said "We'll go out tomorrow! I want to see you!" - "Screw you, you blew me off, I was embarrassed. Only call if you're actually going to follow through." (Friends of mine will find this highly ironic)
Then there was the time in college I was in my girlfriend's bed, and ripped out a GIANT fart while asleep, as well as a few aftershocks. It woke me up from a stone cold sleep, and I thought "Damn if she can live through that she's a keeper."
Jason
jenks - 03/21/06 00:38
Hmm. Well I don't think I've done TOO many asshole things to others, but there are some I'm not proud of- in college i had a big crush on this upperclassman... and at a party we were talking... I was oblivious to how wasted he was (which was of course the only reason he was talking to me). But eventually he suggested "getting out of here." I was pretty psyched... so we walked out, he had his arm around me... Perfect! Dream come true! He was swaying a little.... then said 'hold on a sec'- and walked over to a trash can and puked. (hot.) And- I still went home with him. Yeah. Proud moment.
Hmm. Well I don't think I've done TOO many asshole things to others, but there are some I'm not proud of- in college i had a big crush on this upperclassman... and at a party we were talking... I was oblivious to how wasted he was (which was of course the only reason he was talking to me). But eventually he suggested "getting out of here." I was pretty psyched... so we walked out, he had his arm around me... Perfect! Dream come true! He was swaying a little.... then said 'hold on a sec'- and walked over to a trash can and puked. (hot.) And- I still went home with him. Yeah. Proud moment.
robin - 03/20/06 21:00
once while fucking an ex I told him "get off of me, I'm bored."
once while fucking an ex I told him "get off of me, I'm bored."
twisted - 03/20/06 20:37
Probably my worst faux pas was interrupting sex to trim a hangnail. Hey! It was really bugging me! And the sex wasn't that good either. Besides a hangnail can be dangerous in certain situations. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
Probably my worst faux pas was interrupting sex to trim a hangnail. Hey! It was really bugging me! And the sex wasn't that good either. Besides a hangnail can be dangerous in certain situations. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.
sbrugger - 03/20/06 15:29
Hmmmm..."Austin's Dating Highlight Reel", eh? To preface all of this...I'm mostly ashamed of all of these incidents and I think I have grown and learned from them.
Let me see....
Item #1: I was attending a rugby function with a girl I was seeing. She was the type who doesn't go in for some of the shenanigans that often happen at these events (getting naked, excessive drinking/noise, swearing, smoking, vulgar songs...generally a good blue-collar sort of time). Well, of course she wanted to "escape" early (in all fairness, I guess early makes it sound bad...it was 11...we had been there since 7...my plan was to be there until 4am), I didn't want to, and drunk me then "makes the rounds" of all my friends (with girl in tow), announcing, "Yeah..sorry...I know, I wanted to stay too, but she needs to be 'taken care of'. *wink*".
Yeah..stellar...just stellar...lesson learned there when I was sleeping on the couch.
Item #2: I was on the phone, discussing just how much I didn't enjoy receiving oral sex from a particular girl I was dating at the time with a friend. (no..that wasn't the sole purpose of the conversation, but it came up...) and I get a beep on the call-waiting. It's said girl. "Yeah...I had a great time the other night, but I'm on the phone with Frank..can I give you a call right back? Okay..bye......*click*....So, yeah...she's AWFUL...seriously...I've gotten better head from a virgin! *silence* *female voice* WHAT?!!.....*expletives etc*"
Another shining moment.....
Item #3: Short and sweet.... "Listen, 'Lisa' (name changed), you're a really great girl....but you're ugly...seriously...just not attractive at all...please leave me alone." (In my defense: 1) I was drunk and probably high [this was back in college] and 2) She just wouldn't leave me alone...she'd get drunk and call me and get all mopey and weepy and I really didn't like her.....)
There are others...but those are the first that popped into my mind....maybe drop a few more in later...
Hmmmm..."Austin's Dating Highlight Reel", eh? To preface all of this...I'm mostly ashamed of all of these incidents and I think I have grown and learned from them.
Let me see....
Item #1: I was attending a rugby function with a girl I was seeing. She was the type who doesn't go in for some of the shenanigans that often happen at these events (getting naked, excessive drinking/noise, swearing, smoking, vulgar songs...generally a good blue-collar sort of time). Well, of course she wanted to "escape" early (in all fairness, I guess early makes it sound bad...it was 11...we had been there since 7...my plan was to be there until 4am), I didn't want to, and drunk me then "makes the rounds" of all my friends (with girl in tow), announcing, "Yeah..sorry...I know, I wanted to stay too, but she needs to be 'taken care of'. *wink*".
Yeah..stellar...just stellar...lesson learned there when I was sleeping on the couch.
Item #2: I was on the phone, discussing just how much I didn't enjoy receiving oral sex from a particular girl I was dating at the time with a friend. (no..that wasn't the sole purpose of the conversation, but it came up...) and I get a beep on the call-waiting. It's said girl. "Yeah...I had a great time the other night, but I'm on the phone with Frank..can I give you a call right back? Okay..bye......*click*....So, yeah...she's AWFUL...seriously...I've gotten better head from a virgin! *silence* *female voice* WHAT?!!.....*expletives etc*"
Another shining moment.....
Item #3: Short and sweet.... "Listen, 'Lisa' (name changed), you're a really great girl....but you're ugly...seriously...just not attractive at all...please leave me alone." (In my defense: 1) I was drunk and probably high [this was back in college] and 2) She just wouldn't leave me alone...she'd get drunk and call me and get all mopey and weepy and I really didn't like her.....)
There are others...but those are the first that popped into my mind....maybe drop a few more in later...
03/15/2006 17:03 #23640
Anyone catch Matisyahu?Category: music
I heard there was a listening event at Third Room. Was he there? Did anyone go?
jenks - 03/15/06 18:10
when? I got invited to something a month ago or so, but then it was sold out...
when? I got invited to something a month ago or so, but then it was sold out...
That sucks, 47 is young to die.
sorry to hear that