On this day, I turn 31.
And thus I face the disturbing reality that I'm now closer to 40 than 20, and that I'm not allowed to have any more late nights out, fun, or sex until I divorce my first wife, buy an expensive sports car, and pick up the second trophy wife.
Of course, I've never been married, have never owned a minivan, and I'm generally the type of guy that trophy wives tend to avoid. I'm totally failing society's expectations of near-middle age mediocrity. And that's even more disturbing, because it puts me in a kind of limbo where I don't have any well-treaded paths to follow and no herd mentality to safely cling to and use to disavow any accusation of stagnation or complacency by saying "I was doing what everyone else was doing."
I've somehow ended up driving the bumper car out of the theme park. So now what?
Carolinian's Journal
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11/17/2006 04:46 #21098
Adding another ring to the treeCategory: life
11/12/2006 03:52 #21097
20/20Category: life
In hindsight, I reallly should have talked to the blond girl in horn-rimmed glasses. I am such a wuss. The worst fate I can meet is, after all, the current situation I find myself in.
Upon being sober, I'm sure that none of this will make sense.
Upon being sober, I'm sure that none of this will make sense.
mrmike - 11/13/06 16:03
Next time round, take a chance, you never know....
Next time round, take a chance, you never know....
museumchick - 11/13/06 10:40
Look at this way- if you run in to her again sometime soon, you will have had time to think of interesting topics of conversation. She'll be charmed by your wit.
Look at this way- if you run in to her again sometime soon, you will have had time to think of interesting topics of conversation. She'll be charmed by your wit.
lilho - 11/12/06 21:48
sorry, i got caught up in a little 'situation', if you may, that required much of my attention last evening. next time i shall be a lady and converse!
sorry, i got caught up in a little 'situation', if you may, that required much of my attention last evening. next time i shall be a lady and converse!
lizabeth - 11/12/06 20:24
Dude, there are so many worse fates you could have. Like, say, oh, mine, for instance.
[minor digression] Horn-rimmed glasses sound totally sexy. I should get some. [/minor digression]
Anyway, you're not a wuss... you're just a normal person, like the rest of us (and I'm using "normal" in the absolute broadest sense of the term, here, so don't think I am delusional or anything). We all have our not-so-brave moments.
Me, this week, I went out on a limb, and it kinda backfired on me, so... I'm not sure which is worse, regretting something you didn't do, or regretting making an ass out of yourself. I'm kind of leaning toward the latter being worse, honestly.
Dude, there are so many worse fates you could have. Like, say, oh, mine, for instance.
[minor digression] Horn-rimmed glasses sound totally sexy. I should get some. [/minor digression]
Anyway, you're not a wuss... you're just a normal person, like the rest of us (and I'm using "normal" in the absolute broadest sense of the term, here, so don't think I am delusional or anything). We all have our not-so-brave moments.
Me, this week, I went out on a limb, and it kinda backfired on me, so... I'm not sure which is worse, regretting something you didn't do, or regretting making an ass out of yourself. I'm kind of leaning toward the latter being worse, honestly.
vincent - 11/12/06 10:43
The only one I noticed was on the patio.
It was a weird night. You must think I'm really someone with me running into all of those people that I did.
At least you didn't get blown off by ((e:lilho))! :-)
My hand is a bit sore from that drunk ass bald headed leaf fan member of my bald headed trib >:-/
The only one I noticed was on the patio.
It was a weird night. You must think I'm really someone with me running into all of those people that I did.
At least you didn't get blown off by ((e:lilho))! :-)
My hand is a bit sore from that drunk ass bald headed leaf fan member of my bald headed trib >:-/
11/06/2006 18:04 #21096
They Call Me Hollow FellowCategory: music
(to the tune of Donovan's 'There Is A Mountain')
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan
Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat
Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan
Donovan at Kleinahan's--I missed it cause I did not plan
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat
Reefer Madness ends next week, my ADD I've got to beat
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
First there is a concert, then there is no concert, then there is
mrmike - 11/06/06 18:58
Nice verse, Hurdy Gurdy Man, the reviews say the show was pretty good too
Nice verse, Hurdy Gurdy Man, the reviews say the show was pretty good too
museumchick - 11/06/06 18:32
Donovan came to Buffalo?
Donovan came to Buffalo?
11/03/2006 00:12 #21095
Random musingsCategory: potpourri
Random subjects
Cuteness: (e:lizabeth) sent me a
to a cute shirt (at the very bottom of the linked page) that will put on threadless. I find it both completely stupid and completely profound at the same time, kind of like a William Carlos Williams poem . I want one.
On the PHP meeting: went well. The sponsors sprung for pizza at Casa di Pizza, which was cool. While it's more of a recruitment gimmick for a local tech company than anything else, it does somewhat fill the gap of the technology/programming clubs I left back in NC. I got to go bowling with the group afterwards, which is pretty cool.
On discovering honeycrisp apples: They are like crack that grows on trees. They are just that good. They are THE platonic form of what a good apple should sound, feel, and taste like. Wow.
Cuteness: (e:lizabeth) sent me a
to a cute shirt (at the very bottom of the linked page) that will put on threadless. I find it both completely stupid and completely profound at the same time, kind of like a William Carlos Williams poem . I want one.On the PHP meeting: went well. The sponsors sprung for pizza at Casa di Pizza, which was cool. While it's more of a recruitment gimmick for a local tech company than anything else, it does somewhat fill the gap of the technology/programming clubs I left back in NC. I got to go bowling with the group afterwards, which is pretty cool.
On discovering honeycrisp apples: They are like crack that grows on trees. They are just that good. They are THE platonic form of what a good apple should sound, feel, and taste like. Wow.
lizabeth - 11/06/06 01:11
Hey, just for the sake of accuracy: that shirt is not going to be a Threadless shirt (www.threadless.com), it's going to be on Diesel Sweeties (www.dieselsweeties.com) - most likely. Nothing is for sure until he puts up the link for the pre-sale. Anyway, I totally want one, too. Damn shame I'm married and thus can't use it to hook up with hot-but-shy nerdy guys. Oh well. My husband should get a kick out of it, too.
Hey, just for the sake of accuracy: that shirt is not going to be a Threadless shirt (www.threadless.com), it's going to be on Diesel Sweeties (www.dieselsweeties.com) - most likely. Nothing is for sure until he puts up the link for the pre-sale. Anyway, I totally want one, too. Damn shame I'm married and thus can't use it to hook up with hot-but-shy nerdy guys. Oh well. My husband should get a kick out of it, too.
10/30/2006 19:44 #21092
Halloween ReflectionsCategory: party
I have come to two conclusions about this weekend.
1) I had a pretty activity-packed halloween; it certainly made up for all the weekends I spent inside doing nothing particularly useful.
2) There is nothing hotter than a hot librarian with a hollowed-out book dancing to techno.
1) I had a pretty activity-packed halloween; it certainly made up for all the weekends I spent inside doing nothing particularly useful.
2) There is nothing hotter than a hot librarian with a hollowed-out book dancing to techno.
soma - 12/04/06 23:58
that woulda been Hillary @ the notorious Club 135 halloween aprty.. glad u had fun.. i should post pix
that woulda been Hillary @ the notorious Club 135 halloween aprty.. glad u had fun.. i should post pix
museumchick - 10/31/06 20:02
I've never seen a librarian with a hollowed-out book dancing to techno- that's really kind of cool.
It was nice talking to you earlier. Have a good night.
I've never seen a librarian with a hollowed-out book dancing to techno- that's really kind of cool.
It was nice talking to you earlier. Have a good night.
as I just learned from nip/tuck- 62 is the new 26, so you (we) are all good. ;)
happy belated birthday! you're only as old as you feel, and fuck old society rules. it's 2006...things are way different now.
happy birthday.
for what's worth when you live outside the box, you have freedom. The sucky thing about freedom is that you get to do what you want. You actually have to think about your life. Your life isn't pre=programmed for you.
That's also that great thing about freedom.
I'm going to be 48 in a couple of weeks and I still don't have any idea what I want to do with my life.
I've tried multiple "career" paths and so far none have fit me.
Good luck. I know it's not the Jewish New Year but may the best of your 30th year be the worst of your 31 year. I've loved that sentiment ever since I heard it living in NYC in the 80s working for Orthodox Jews. For some reason, I was their Goy Boy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the eve of Christmas Eve I will be 34 so I would say I'm worse of then you, but that most likely dosn't help you much. Just make sure You go out and do something fun for your birthday. It dosn't have to be to get trashed and crawling home from the local pub it can be anything fun that you usaly don't get a chance to do. Or you can allways go out to a bar and find a nice young thing to have sex with, or maybe try one of those Asain Accupressure places. As long as you do something you like. Try not to think about what you are supposed to do acording to society, if you do that to much you will wind up in a hospital.
I do hope you'll go out and have a great day, irregardless. Happy Birthday!
I feel you buddy. Not freaking out never happens when someone gafauws your dismay and sugesst it. Actually typically the exact opposite occurs and you, well, you freak out.
I have a lot of really young friends (by young I mean early 20's) and sometimes I look around and say to my self. What the hell am I doing here? I guess the only two things that keep me going is them looking back with expressions that imply 'enjoying good friends who really love you stupid', and this other little thing that keeps me inches above an age crisis every other day. I'll tell you what it is.
Every day I work on something that will have a positive long term real world effect (so video games are right out, but I do enjoy them from time to time). Until I left school this was really easy, since school was the thing I worked on. Now it's a little tougher but as long as I keep it up I end up just happy enough with my self to keep going on with my wrists zipped shut, and I have something to show for my years of wonton oxygen consumption on this planet
In defense of those I call friend, not all of them are younger than me, and all of them are awesome, special, and amazing. I like to think that they are border line geniuses, and since most of them graduated city honors there is some proof in that statement. still the 'that love you' part is really the only thing that matters since one day we'll all be older than me, or you.
Happy Birthday, (e:Carolinian) !!!
Trophy wives only marry for money... so if that is what you're looking for, get working! lol
I understand how you feel. I've felt the same kinda things you do, just my own version. Particularly around my birthday.
I end up feeling like i am, well, since i am 37, let's use that year... 37 and everyone else my age has already figured out the career issues in life and got educated and degrees and here i am freaked out about a GED.
But life doesn't work on this neat and tidy lil schedule. Imagine how boring life would be if it was! Everyone at a certain age would be doing exactly the same thing!
Find the beat of your own drummer... and enjoy getting there!
What Jason said. As somebody who's 40ish (shaddup) Society's expectations are worth worrying about. Make yourself happy on your schedule. Nobody else's merits consideration
Oh hell, it's your birthday, stop sulking! Go have fun! Happy birthday!