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Boxerboi's Journal

boxerboi
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06/02/2006 21:03 #21008

Amazing... what will they think of next
Category: sex
Apparently KY & Astroglide have gone the way of the baby boomers.

A real man needs the following: (try to read without laughing)


JACK JELLY image

Sometimes a guy just needs to get off fast, clean up and move on. Empowered Products' high-grade, no-frills lubricant, gives a guy a slick glide when he needs a quick, one-handed ride. This formula is designed to enhance sensation and heighten a guy's pleasure while he's jacking off. We've developed Jack Jelly specifically to target the needs of a more price conscious market - offering a high quality product with superior lubrication to competing silica-based gels, at a significantly lower price point.??Jack Jelly includes medical-grade oils, Vitamin E, Aloe Vera and no spermacide.

GUN OIL image
Gun Oil, the premium, condom-safe lubricant that keeps a man's most important weapon well oiled. If the military issued a lube, this is what they'd distribute with the condoms and artillery. During Operation Desert Storm, Marines jacked off with actual military-issue gun oil while hunkered down in the trenches of Kuwaiti battlefields. A group of those marines has developed a high-tech, condom-safe formula for smooth, rapid-fire action. This silicone-based lube keeps a Private's parts well-lubricated with added Vitamin E and Aloe Vera for longer lasting, slicker ride and minimized skin irritation. The ultra-concentrated formula is designed to out-perform comparable top-shelf products - a few drops lubricate thoroughly without breaking down or drying out. With a suggested retail price significantly lower than its competitors, Gun Oil is a certain bestseller on your lubricant shelf.

STROKE 29 image
Stroke 29, Empowered Products' premium cream lubricant, is designed to take masturbation to a whole new level. Unlike Silicone and water based lubricants, this thick, non-greasy formula provides more than just wet slipperiness. After years of research, our team has developed a lubricant that gets better the longer you use it. As the cream heats up from repetitive stroking of masturbation, the product texture transforms at or around the 29th stroke to simulate the sensation of aroused human tissue. With the combination of heat and friction, a guy might actually forget he's using his own hand. Stroke 29 provides a glide unlike any other masturbation lubricant available. The product's viscosity stays intact and doesn't break down during its transformation, so there is no need to re-apply. Stroke 29 skin-beneficial almond oil, Aloe Vera and Vitamin E and is fragrance- and irritant-free. Not recommended for use with latex condoms. Approximately 60 applications per jar.

  • My favorite is how around the 29th stroke it magically changes... I bet your dick falls off.

theecarey - 06/02/06 23:56
"at or around the 29th stroke" Hilarious!
Hehe, to be paid to write product information for such fine merchandise...or to be the product tester. I mean, someone had to figure out that there are "approximately 60 applications per jar"
Thanks for sharing.

05/27/2006 10:28 #21007

No Freakin' Way
I just discovered that if you send a post-it, it goes to your phone. how cool! I don't think I use a 1/10th of the stuff I could on this site.

05/23/2006 20:58 #21006

Airport & Netflix
I have nothing better to do with my time lately than to rent stupid movies and watch them.

I finished Airport '77 and unbeknownst to me, I rented a double disc from Netflix. I'm watching Airport '79 which is just as bad as the second one, er all of them. Lame lines, rampant alcoholism, cheating wives.

I stopped my netflix for the second time. I don't get it, at first I get my movies right away, then three months into it, it takes almost an entire week to get a dvd. Its just a waste of money when that happens. Blockbuster is so expensiver per dvd rental I refuse to do that either.

05/23/2006 20:03 #21005

Epiladies & Such
I wish I could credit the source, but I don't remember how I found out about this site.

Its pretty funny and has kept me amused at work for most of the day.

Has anyone ever seen Airport '77? It has Jack Lemmon when he was in his 40s. Movies from the '70s are so over the top dramatic. This 747 was hijacked and crashed into the ocean, intact. Now there are 30 odd people sitting at the bottom of the ocean trying to figure out how to get out. It's totally lame, yet captivating.

According to Entertainment magazine, male body hair is "so 2005". Now we get to use Philips Norelco BG2020 Men's Bodygroom. Trims hair everywhere below the neck! Is this the male Epilady?



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I can't believe they are still in business.

05/21/2006 15:28 #21004

Cold day
I am stopping short of calling it a crappy day. Its cold and windy outside.

I am mildly annoyed that it has been warm and sunny Monday-Thursday and cold, wet, rainy for the weekend. I hope this pattern does not go through the summer.

In other news, I watched the Count of Montechristo this afternoon. It was a pretty good movie; held my attention the whole time.



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mike - 05/21/06 18:17
i've always wanted to see that.
lilho - 05/21/06 17:51
good movie. i should've read the book first.