i just wrote a list of why i am happy today. then i lost it!!!
grr. i am not happy anymore.

you'll miss the sparkle that I endured
you'll miss the never ending lure
of something so pure
and considerate

i couldn't understand if you knew what you had
i had you
but maybe it was too much
for him to acknowledge

so you go and dissappear
and i'm left here
to sit and cry
wondering why im writing this

because i can't exactly put into words
how this hurts
or what it was
the fact that you couldn't kiss the one you loved.

you came in and collided
with an endearing force
and yet leaving on a good note
always hurts so much more

i wish i could just forget
all the memories, just regrets
pleasure is a pain
one we can't halt
love is one we can't stop

we only give
i never get.

today sucks.
people in this country suck.
i still think the country should split up....everyone south of the mason/dixon line and west of the mississippi...with the exception of california and washington and oregon...they can be their own country...like luxemborg. the northeast can be like switzerland.
the bush campaign basically won through the theory of fear and discrimination. although i believe the next four years will be filled with more death, destruction, outsourcing, unemployment, poverty, segregation, stupidity and hate--i am thankful that no one can change the philosophy and the spirit of america. im not getting blown up for writing this. so thank god for that.
i cannot believe 11 honkey states voted against gay marriage. what's next, seperate drinking fountains?
ugh. i don't even want to think about the next four years and what they will bring...possibly a move to toronto becaue i want be able to get a job HERE...but im going to keep fighting, and i hope everyone else does too.

congrats on being an awesome human being john kerry.....

thank you.

im ashamed to be a member of the media.
i HATE election nites. NOTHING is real or true, its all "estimated"
but i still have faith. it's jsut the crappy hick states that gravitate toward the big idiot.
hopefully someday i will be able to help reverse this yucky process of television media.

Cant really feel
Cant really beg
Cant breathe
Cant stop

Get out
Stop the wash
Of darkness over the senses
Of the cloud over my head

Suffocating
Screwing my insides
Tacking me to a wooden wall
With wooden guns
And clever pills

this is from yesterday...my song of the day? The End of the World--The Cure

unreal.
today is the most important day of my life thusfar I believe.
i'm an incredible news and politics junkie--particularly this year--and felt an excitement entering the unitarian church on elmwood this morning. there were long lines and a wave of diversity, young and old, black and white, business and casual. it was fantastic. i can't stop looking for coverage. i want so much for john kerry to win. im afraid what will happen if he doesn't. im sure i'll be up all night watching the coverage because i know we wont know anything until late tomarrow for sure.
i wish i was out covering this. instead im in crappy grad school reading about things i cannot change in calcutta. why doesn't school teach you about the things you can change? also my queer studies professor basically told me im an idiot. im sick of the pretention. at least i know my politics and what i am good at...journalism. i've got an awesome article in this month's Quill. check it out on campus if you can.
well people this is the superbowl of all elections of our lifetime today. i remember last year i voted for nadar. didn't make that mistake this year. its amazing how different you become four years later. before, i believed it was my democratic right, and voting for any third party candidate is, otherwise this wouldnt be a democracy, but this year, im voting for my life it seems. im afraid i'll wake up one day like the jewish slaves in the 10 commandments. i believe thatyes, even george W. is capable of that.
other than that, go kerry edwards! i wrote a poem yesterday, i was in a shit ass mood...i'll put it up soon.

KERRY/EDWARDS '04
say some prayers people....i have a good feeling the big man is on our side.....
;)
oh yeah, p.s. i got to the polls today to find that highland avenuers couldn't vote for the higgins/naples race...what the hell was that about!?

type hey everybody, this is just my first blog, just checking if it works. i'm happy that I now have a blog home to call my own. im a writer, but just never have any time to do it. this may force me to actually get off my ass and write some stuff, however lame it may be. ciao! gotta go read for a women's studies class.....