right or wrong, fuck shit up
I was in a grouchy mood, or maybe I wasn’t. Someone told me I was, but I was just annoyed at this person in particular, but after having this pointed out to me, I became pissed off at everyone. Well no, perhaps this is not true. I think I was more annoyed at this person for being who they are, only because someone else pointed out to me what I already knew about the aforementioned person, and I suppose I’ve come to terms long ago with who this person is and how she acts, yet having others aware of it and – as I perceived it – mocking me for it set the tone for an evening where I once again emerge in the morning light looking like an asshole.
I tried arguing with people who apparently haven’t engaged in a passionate debate about anything in some time. They seamed generally upset that I dare try such a thing, and I remember at one moment when trying to demonstrate the pointlessness of making a point, yet the necessity to do so it was unanimously agreed that I had just terribly insulted my housemate and I don’t believe they cared to hear anything else I had to say. I awoke looking into the eyes of the landscaper in the backyard as he surveyed the mess that was made the night before. He probably didn’t care to hear anything I had to say, and I was too tired to do so, so I said nothing, but I should have said something. The sky grumbled, and I listened. I couldn’t know what it intended to mean by that, but I was happy it said something, and I took from it what I could. I’m tired of everyone’s and my own complacency. Why aren’t more people pissed off? There is so much to be vein popping, fist shaking angry about, yet most people just don’t give a damn enough about anything to even attempt to talk about, or more so disagree about, anything other than what to eat, drink, or watch on the boob tube. I’ve shirked debate recently because I’m disillusioned by everything always breaking down into polar opposites and I feel everyone is just as right or just as wrong as everyone else, but communication is how people form and solidify their ideas and culture. I can’t know if I’m right or wrong, I don’t think those distinctions have any bearing on matter, what’s important is the act of disagreeing, breaking up the circle jerk, being passionate about something enough to turn red, start yelling, and breaking things if need be. Granted people probably won’t listen to a word you say if you’re running around breaking things, but they’ll probably take something out of the situation. Something is something, and god damn it, it’s better than nothing.
I tried arguing with people who apparently haven’t engaged in a passionate debate about anything in some time. They seamed generally upset that I dare try such a thing, and I remember at one moment when trying to demonstrate the pointlessness of making a point, yet the necessity to do so it was unanimously agreed that I had just terribly insulted my housemate and I don’t believe they cared to hear anything else I had to say. I awoke looking into the eyes of the landscaper in the backyard as he surveyed the mess that was made the night before. He probably didn’t care to hear anything I had to say, and I was too tired to do so, so I said nothing, but I should have said something. The sky grumbled, and I listened. I couldn’t know what it intended to mean by that, but I was happy it said something, and I took from it what I could. I’m tired of everyone’s and my own complacency. Why aren’t more people pissed off? There is so much to be vein popping, fist shaking angry about, yet most people just don’t give a damn enough about anything to even attempt to talk about, or more so disagree about, anything other than what to eat, drink, or watch on the boob tube. I’ve shirked debate recently because I’m disillusioned by everything always breaking down into polar opposites and I feel everyone is just as right or just as wrong as everyone else, but communication is how people form and solidify their ideas and culture. I can’t know if I’m right or wrong, I don’t think those distinctions have any bearing on matter, what’s important is the act of disagreeing, breaking up the circle jerk, being passionate about something enough to turn red, start yelling, and breaking things if need be. Granted people probably won’t listen to a word you say if you’re running around breaking things, but they’ll probably take something out of the situation. Something is something, and god damn it, it’s better than nothing.