01/20/06 06:14 - 46ºF - ID#24887

Your assistance is needed. . .

Okay, so here's the deal. I am in a relatioship with a GREAT guy! We've been together for almost two years (in April). I really love him. But...theres a problem. I always feel like I am always putting more into the relationship than he is. I always end up payng for things, he never offers. I always buy him things (little things) but he never recipocates. And when he does, he makes a production out of it, almost like he is ticked that he was to do so. A guy can only take so much!! I just don't know what to do! I've tried to talk to him about it...but all I get in return is "well, what do you want me to do?" Its not that I want him to do, but its stuff that HE SHOULD want to do. Am I right or am I really off the deep-end? I NEED HELP!!

pyrcedgrrl writes at 07:37:00 01/22/06 - Comment #3827: Hi there! I'm kinda-sorta in the same situation at the moment. I end up offering to pay a lot of the time, & I'm the type that just buys stuff for friends and S.O.'s on a whim. Sadly, if you are a giver and the other person is not you sometimes end up feeling a bit taken advantage of.
With my boyfriend, I finally had to sit him down and basicly say, "Hey, I'm not your mom. I don't HAVE to do things for you, I LIKE to & it would be nice if maybe you offered to pay once in a while."
I just read your update and hope it all works out for you. Just remember that communication really is key in a situation such as this. The other person probably doesn't even realize they are making you feel this way. :) Good luck!

ladycroft writes at 10:53:23 01/20/06 - Comment #3781: Yah, I never got to hang out with Drew much, but he does seem quite the oposite of you my wonderful friend! I have no qualms about paying for things, even if I'm broke, but it is really nice to at least have the offer now and then. I also LOVE getting people little gifts, often for no reason. While I never expect anything in return, it would be nice to get a surprise here and there from your significant other. Perhaps it is time to seriously reconsider your relationship.

jenks writes at 10:10:02 01/20/06 - Comment #3780: oy...
been there.
I hate to be negative, but that sounds like a red flag to me. I think you're totally right and not at all unreasonable to want little thoughtful gestures. It's not about money, but thought. When I like somebody, I can't do enough for them. And I think that's normal. And when someone doesn't feel that way, well it's a warning sign to me. I hope for your sake that I'm wrong. But I just came out of the same situation, and it was no good. And if you're like me, it will always bother you, to the point that you may resent him for it. Again, I hate to be a downer and I hope I'm wrong. But I think you should trust your instincts. If this bothers you, you need it fixed- one way or another.

metalpeter writes at 07:34:43 01/20/06 - Comment #3779: I may be off base her, but is sounds like you are the man in the relationship and he is the women in the relationship. What I mean by that is that you are the one that buys everything and has to pay for everything you do. Relationships should be more even but often they are not. I have no idea how to fix it. The only thing I can say is that great communacation will help the relationship and maybe better communacation and talking about it will help. Again that is a maybe, sometimes talking to much can just make things worse.

Permalink: Your_assistance_is_needed_.html
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Location: Buffalo, NY

12/18/05 03:28 - 24ºF - ID#24886

Umm..yeah...

So interesting night tonight. Responded to an incident tonight with the ProStaff on duty since I was hanging out at her apartment anyways. Well, the incident was in my building and involved two of my RAs. Apparently, one was in a way assulted by the other while on rounds. OH GOOD GOD. After getting word from our boss, we had to suspend the RA immediately, take their master key and office key and issue a no contact verbal warning. CRAZINESS.

That is all.

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Location: Buffalo, NY

12/15/05 06:33 - 32ºF - ID#24885

Darkness has taken over

So, I don't know why, but all of a sudden I feel really...crappy? Down? Sad? I don't know. Its a feeling I have not had for a LONG time; like when I was back in High School. I don't like it when i feel such things like this. Oh no..I feel a dark poem coming on....

The ice falls down from the sky,
the people scamper in where its dry;
Cars go whizzing by,
without a care in their eye.

Alone I sit as I hear the water freeze,
and I wonder, "is this what it is all about?"
Next to my little four foot Christmas tree
with its lights all a glow, I sit and ponder
thinking it all out.

The noise from the freshman as they walk by
remind me of how obsolete I have become;
I am seen as the "authority" and nothing more,
not someone they can talk to or become friends with.

Happy yes, happy no;
I just don't know.

There are times that I wish,
years ago I succeeded in somethings,
but ended up failing instead.

Everyday is a new experience,
looking forward to the day ahead;
never thought I would see them,
thought i'd be dead.

Here I sit, alone in my room,
without a care.

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Location: Buffalo, NY

12/14/05 02:43 - 21ºF - ID#24884

The minuets tick by

I have forgotten what it was like not to have to worry about getting school work completed. I'm sitting here in my office filling out 16 RA evaluations (which I should REALLY be doing instead of typing away on this) and am thinking to myself, "What am I going to do tonight?"What papers, or questions, or summaries do I have to do?". And then I remember, "Oh...i'm done for the semester". I can primarily focus on my acutal Assistant Hall Director Work! How weird!

Last night, going to a holiday party with (e:Ladycroft) was really what I needed. I needed a chance to get away from the hall, my job, the responsibility and just be me. Iy has been so long since I have been able to be myself. But let me just say...I REALLY enjoyed it! I am making my New Year's Resolution early: I need to get away more and enjoy life to the fullest. HAPPY NEW YEAR (18 days early...)

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Location: Buffalo, NY

12/14/05 01:56 - 8ºF - ID#24883

The first

So I guess I have succumbed to peer pressure and joined Elmwood Strip. I have been hearing about this site since September. It was not up until only a few min. ago...perhaps 30 min, that ( (e:Ladycroft)) finally convinced me to join and see what it is all about. I guess I should wait and see how this goes.