Well, I almost set my house on fire a few minutes ago.

It is common knowledge that I enjoy cooking. It's always been a hobby/talent of mine, and I find it incredibly theraputic. So after tonight, when i finally sat my mom down and told her i wanted to go back to school, I was in a particularly depressing mood.
so i whipped out the cookbooks.
because cooking makes me happy when i'm sad.

i made a hot fudge pudding cake.

it looks good.

however, our oven, which is about 30 years old and hasn't been cleaned in about a decade, at least, is quite tempermental, in the sense that it is both lopsided and has no sense of what temperature soemthing shold be cooked at. Seriously, there is a board propping it up, and the knob is absolutely useless.

so when i baked my cake...it dripped...and then kinda blew up a little.

now there is chocolate all over the kichen...it is reminiscent of the time meg and i tried to make brownies...

all is well in the kitchen now, aside form the smell of burning chocolate, which will hopefully dissappate soon.


so off i go to clean up the mess and try to salvage my cake.

Got my letter from AADA today.

Didn't get in. :(

Not in a talking kind of mood...or a typing mood, for that matter.


"Don't follow your heart, cuz it just seems to get in your way..."~DC






God. I'd give anything to be 13 again.

"On the way home, this car hears my confessions...I think tonight I'll take the long way."

Audition is over.
I have no idea how I did...we will see.

I leave in 30 hours.
I cannot sleep.
Kevin said I should take a bath and a sleeping pill and pass out til mid afternoon tomorrow.
I got as far as the bath.

There are 62 hours until my audition.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas!!!!


...Damn, thats a lot of snow...

I am very bored. So I did a survey.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. brig
2. queens
3. b
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. scaryglowworm13
2. mysticmoon13
3. brig613
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. creativity
2. talent
3. loyalty
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. depression
2. glasses
3. i need a job oh so badly.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. irish.
2. english.
3. french.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. tim curry
2. clowns
3. tim curry dressed as a clown.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. chapstick
2. a shower
3. my computer
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. pj pants
2. blue tshirt
3. hair band.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. googoodolls
2. ani difranco
3. bob dylan
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. extraordinary girl-green day
2. ill see it thru-texas
3. turn me on-norah jones
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. getting a job and keeping it for more than 6 months.
2. going to school.
3. learnign to drive
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. loyalty
2. comfort
3. friendship
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (not necessarily in that order):
1. i can't wait til I leave for my audition.
2. i am terrified about my audition
3. christmas is my favorite holiday.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT [your preferred] SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. perfect eyebrows
2. blue eyes
3.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. make phone calls to anyone other than my close friends
2. ride the bus unless there are perfect weather conditions, i know EXACTLY where i am going, and i have EXACTLY the right bus fare and all the schedules.
3. sit thru mass
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. acting
2. writing
3. my political statement collage that is probably going to be 100 feet long at the moment.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. go to AADA
2. call one of my friends
3. go to sleep
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. actress.
2. writer.
3. politician or lobbyist or political analyst.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. new york
2. montreal
3. california
THREE KIDS' NAMES:
1. eloise james.
2. michael vincent.
3. rosemary elizabeth.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. go to ireland
2. play the part of Harper Amity Pitt in AiA
3. be published...in the sense that I actually get paid, not this poetry anthology bullshit.

YAY!!

Yay for what, you may ask?

Yay for libraries!
And parks!
And arts funding!
And restoring jobs for deputies,
Prosecutors,
Nurses
And emergency workers!

Erie County adopted the green budget!
Now I don’t have to move to Niagara!!!!!!

Ok, I’m done now.


(I heart the library.)

My audition is in less than a month.
I still have not memrized one of my monolouges.
I still don't have transportation or a place to stay.
I am still not sure I have the moral support I was promised, either.
My parents spent my money for the trip, so I have to find as many babysitting jobs as possible in the next month. So far, I have one.

Christmas is in less than a month.
I do not have any money whatsoever.
I do not have any idea what to get for my friends and family.
I have been stuck in my house on decoration detail for over a week.
I have to go to 10 parties in 2 weeks.

I have to go get a tree, babysit dolores, go shopping for gifts, finish making molly's gift, go grocery shopping, take bernie to breakfast with santa, have dinner with ka, and go see miss julie at CTC, and magically find 500$.




I think I need a xanax and a cup of tea.

My friend, in the past year, has cast out his three best friends from his life.

And it makes me wonder.

What horrible atrocity do I have to commit to make him unable to forgive me, too?

Apparently nothing at all. :(