12/20/04 10:38 - ID#20731
the heater is too phallic
this thing does a terrible job keeping me warm. seems appropriate in some way.
evil bitter cold.
My little thingamagigs that spray fluid stopped working today while the salty water flew through the air on the highway. had to keep pulling over to wipe away the grime with a chunk of snow in my hand. but every time i had to pull over into slush and snow i was at a point of extremely low visibility and was sure that i would spin out into the ditch luckily i made it to work safe so that i could spend my lunch break breathing on the little fuckers until they would spew out that magical cleansing fluid that is probably kiling birds somewhere right this minute.
oh well. if i didn't do it the cold would have.
i need some windshield wipers. bless trico.
Permalink: the_heater_is_too_phallic.html
Words: 168
12/02/04 09:48 - ID#20730
toes....
tofurkey
what is next!!!!!
tofu
tofucked!
Permalink: toes_.html
Words: 7
12/02/04 12:41 - ID#20729
heat.
i live on the third floor of a drafty buffalo house, it is too cold. and the heat doesn't work... i had been using a space heater that was approximately a 4 inch cube.
when returning from travels in freezing fucking france hoping to curl up in my room to restore the inner warmth the cold weather had robbed from me while backpacking. (you know how that is, so chilled you doubt that you will ever be warm again and it takes two weeks to actually feel comfortable out from under the two down comforters you have built your winter nest inside of.) so i get back and huddle over a 4 inch cube.
out of pity or motherly love i received a sexy new space heater for my birthday... it has become my new found treasure. It is a very sophisticated space heater. With its space efficient vertical orientation and futuristic design it is not an eyesore on the room like my 4 inch cube. It makes me look high tech! but it is not only a superficial machine... it has shnazzy features: it rotates and has a timer so that i don't have to wait for my ice box to turn into a cozy love nest! .... so cool. did i mention the remote control, now that is a sexy space heater!
(it wasn't just my cool drawing... high tech apparently is synonomous with phallic, has anyone else noticed that? I found there to be a modern architectural phallus-building in 50% of cities i traveled to on my trip)
Permalink: heat_.html
Words: 285
12/01/04 10:11 - ID#20728
i am back.
mmm. tofu is beautiful. it is really so clever. absorbing whatever you put on it and absolutely harmless. in a utopian society we would only eat tofu.
but no tofurkeys. that shit is wack.
Permalink: i_am_back_.html
Words: 95
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