Sunday i returned home from a party a bit drinky and i plunked onto the futon on my porch for a cooling night breeze. It was then that i felt a lumpy cold item on my leg and flipped the blanket to reveal.... A lovely red plastic toy gun!! What a pleasure! Where did it come from? I had not laid a gun, i asked my neighbors and they had not. My friend chris had laid on the porch the night before, but it had not slipped from his pockets. WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
I fell asleep that night, clicking the little trigger jn my hands happily. ...
The next day i was on the futon again, this time in daylight when i folded back the porch blanket to reveal TWO MORE IDENTICAL RED GUNS. i was in sheer delight!!! The mystery continued until my friend Arden asked me if i got my prize. He had found them at a yard sale and thrown them up two floors to perfectly land on the futon. Thanks arden!!

For some readon when i post one photo it comes up three times and takes forever!!

Anyway, last weekend i went to Allen St Consulting's party because i am a very wealthy client and they handle all of my most delicate taxation affairs with discretion and ingenuity. Or, i like parties. I can't remember. It was fun though. I always enjoy making everyone motorboat my boobs and laying around on the floor playing with Paul's stomach. on the way there, i ran into a flower selling guy on the road and i said hello and he said i was lookin fine, "wish someone would buy me flowers, baby!" I exclaimed. He then walked over and gave me a rose for free. So if you're on Best Ave. buy roses from that guy.

I know you buffalo bitches don't want to ever visit rochester, but i'm telling you, SPRINGTIME IS MAGIC TIME. the whole world turns pink and dreamy, like a fluffy, fragrant vagina. Highland Park is a wonderland of petals and grinning people and me. It is impossible to capture in photo the sensation of walking on flowers and smelling flowers and being under flowers and eating flowers and talking about flowers and giving birth to flowers.

The world is on the cusp of bursting with fragrant pink blossoms. Highland Park is right by my house and is this lovely little gem of an Olmstead park and i love it so very much. In spring, the paths are paved with petals and wondering visitors trip along the paths and grin at each other and find blowjobs in the bushes and lay on blankets and look at the sky. Magical gift to be anle to plan a space that you will never get to see, that's why i love freeivk law olmstead.
It was the perfect way to end my sweaty work day that was interrupted by a quick fisting at the gyno office and blood work vampires

I feel that the harbinger of spring for Miss Masumi is not, in fact, pussy willows and robin's songs. It is the frightening arrival of the Squash Beetle. My entire childhood after we moved to our house (i grew up in a trailer, yo!), every spring a strange and horrible bug would appear without fail and without warning in my room. Generally I would be sitting on the floor making art or masturbating or something and I would hear the telltale flutter/buzz of it's wings and dread would well up in me as the slow moving, creeper bug would make it's way toward me. Large, plodding and aimless, I don't know why I felt menace from it. I also had this sensation that the bug was a spirit creature and it had some mystical significance. (I was a crystal gypsy type kid even when I was really young, sorry Science) I awaited the arrival with a sort of terror and ecstasy. On one occasion, we were driving in our creepy raper van and my sister was sitting way in the back and the windows were open. Suddenly something flew in a max speed and smashed on the back window, splattering onto her cheek. It was one of Visitor Bugs and it was full of EGGSSSSSSS!!! ugh. Another time, when I was older, I had a friend over to the apartment and it was spring and lo! The Visitor arrived again and this time landed upon my friend as she huddled under a blanket. Solomon and I were horrified yet unable to kill or capture it. Finally, in my old age, I figured out that it's a squash beetle and it probably doesn't even have a mouth and is really dumb. But I still find it creepy.


My co-workers groom me every day because I can barely brush my hair or put on pants in the morning. The other day, one of them made my hair look like some kind of sea mollusk.



Took a walk with my friend to Cobb's Hill, which is a very charming spot with a view of Rochester and a lovely resevoir. The sun was setting and it made everything glow magically.



Saturday night Liz and I went to see Norm Talley at 45 Euclid. My friend Jim opened for him and he did a really great job. It was definitely a show for househeads, so it was like a family reunion and basically all friends dancing around with each other, which i LOVE and everyone was grinning from ear to ear and hugging each other and it wasn't just from the drugs, either. Buffalo people came down for it too! Norm was great and it was packed and sweaty, the way I like it. Until my friend Alicia started tripping out and got grabby and rapey with everyone, which I found amusing, but apparently other people did not. Even the security guards were in a good mood and were dancing around because there was nothing to be crabby about. Because when the music is good, you can't be too authoritative and douchey.