I am only posting here because the friends that are actually in real life are all in such different places than I am, and I have no one to talk to. Recently married, or pregnant, or non-child'ed. My closest friend's kid is a 5-year-old princess pink sparkle girly girl? How can I relate to that, with a 14-year-old boy? (Nor would I even know how to!) My other close friends here all have fabulous relationships and fabulous toddlers, or ones on the way. They are quite content with where they're at, and I am quite not.

I hate my apartment, I fucking hate my job, I go on no good vacations or get-aways. My boss mentioned aloud today that I've been in a "funk". I quickly disagreed with that, explaining that it's not a funk, it's fucking disillusionment, and jadedness, and the fact that I hate my fucking job. I told him that I will not be a total bitch, I will do the work that needs be done, and quite efficiently so; however, I will no longer pretend to be a cheer-leader.

Even those times that I do get to get away, they all revolve around seeing my parents, whom I love entirely and deeply and am quite thankful for....But isn't there supposed to be more to get out of life than this?

I have 3-ish years to go until my boy, my baby, is out of high school....and I've centered my life so much around his well-being, I frankly doubt if I am capable of much more. I think I've quite forgotten what it feels like to be "me against the world", or, even, an "us against the world".

Last night, after not seeing him for a week of his being with his dad, he asked for snuggles at bedtime (yes, a 14-year-old boy). He thanked me for being so stable, and for being his rock, and that he wouldn't know what to do without me. That is the best thing a mother can hear. That is a very fucking substantial thank you, which is quite substantially needed! He is the reason I do (the good) things that I do.

My health has been not awesome. I spent so much time & years working toward an ideal, then so many years being my OWN...well, not ideal...but, being who I felt like being....that now it is very difficult to change my habits. Too fat, too drunk, too smokey. Yeah, I know.

BUT, I am working on it. Emotional ejaculation complete. Thanks peeps. Please disregard.

It's a rather surreal experience getting successor agent power of attorney papers in the mail from your brother's estate planning lawyer. Especially when you didn't know they were coming. I can't say I'm unaffected.

So I had lunch with Bob yesterday. It was the first time I had seen him in prolly 6 years? Anywho, he was telling me that a couple of years ago, he & Tracy were downtown, and this homeless guy said to Bob, "I know you!" And Bob's all "No, you don't!". And they guy's all "Yes I do, you're the Zig Zag Man!" Bob replied, "Well, I guess you do know me!" So, Paul, we've succeeding in making him famous!

Paul, I saw this and totally thought of you. This definitely beats earwigs, but prolly not baby spiders coming out of your butt.

Noises in her head were flesh-eating maggots

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A British woman returned from a holiday in Peru hearing scratching noises inside her head to be told she was being attacked by flesh-eating maggots living inside her ear.

Rochelle Harris, 27, said she remembered dislodging a fly from her ear while in Peru but thought nothing more of it until she started getting headaches and pains down one side of her face and woke up in Britain one morning with liquid on her pillow.

Thinking she had a routine ear infection caused by a mosquito bite, she sought medical treatment at the Royal Derby Hospital in northern England, where a consultant noticed maggots in a small hole in her ear-canal.

"I was very scared. Were they in my brain?" said Harris, recounting her ordeal in a new Discovery Channel documentary series called "Bugs, Bites and Parasites" to be aired in the UK from July 21.

Doctors tried first to flush the maggots out of the ear using olive oil.

"It was the longest few hours that I have ever had to wait... I could still feel them and hear them and knowing what those scratching sounds were, and knowing what that wriggling feeling was, that just made it all the worse," she said.

When flushing the maggots out failed, the medics resorted to surgery and found a "writhing mass of maggots" within her ear, raising concern they could eat into her brain.

The surgery removed a family of eight maggots. Analysis found that a New World Army Screw Worm fly had laid eggs inside Harris's ear.

"I'm not so squeamish around those kinds of bugs now. How can I be? They've been in my ear!" Harris said.

Rue McClanahan died early this morning at 76.
I could never decide which Golden Girl was my favorite, but today it will be her.
Wah. I shouldn't be surprised, these peeps are getting old, but still depressing.
I'll leave it to someone else (matthew? mike?) to put some fancy clip up or something; I'm still in kindergarten when it comes to being high-tech.
Thank God Betty is still kicking strong.
I have no more words on the subject.