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Iriesara's Journal

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03/18/2010 13:13 #51213

And Almitra said
Speak to us of Love.

When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshingfloor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself, and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstacy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

01/12/2010 12:37 #50803

40 freaking years & more
So, this Valentine's Day is my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. Yes, Valentines Day, ain't that cute. Which blows my mind. Being that I haven't even been alive for 40 years, it's insane to me to think about having a relationship that would last that long. They've earned it, though, that's for sure. Many difficult times they've had, both on their own, and certainly dealing with my brother and me. Well, mostly my brother. I was the good one, if you can believe that.

I must say, I'm very proud of them. Being that even most of their friends are divorced, long-term couples I grew up with, it's even more impressive. Plus, they honestly just still love each other. It's pretty sickening, really. I seriously think if something happend to one, the other would not know how to cope. Like Where the Red Fern Grows, or something. I know after that long, a lot of couples don't' even like each other anymore, or have anything in common after the kids leave, and I'm proud of the work they've put in for so long to bear the fruits of their labor. They deserve it. I just wish I had the money to send them on a cruise or something.

So, we're throwing them a party. I'll be in town from Feb 11 - 16, and the party is on the 13th. It's hard planning from so far away, luckily my brother is doing a lot of it. I'm mostly relegated to sending out invitations (check) and getting stuff to decorate with, tablecloths & centerpieces and crap like that. "(e:matthew)" I sent you an email? did you get it? Definitely want to do what I can to see the PMT boys while I'm there, but my time is limited.

In other news, in the process of finding a middle school for Elijah. Yes, that's right, I said MIDDLE SCHOOL. I can hardly believe it myself. I'm starting to understand the old adage "seems like only yesterday..."

A kind of disturbing thought came into my head this morning. I realized that if my son somehow follows the path my brother took, I'll be a grandma in 7 years. That's freaky. My mom was 35 when my niece was born. I'd be older than that, but still. It's hard to think that in 5 years or so, my little boy will be experimenting with sex drugs and rocknroll. I know I was. Well, all you can do is educate them and say good luck, be smart! I hope to God he is. May God watch and keep him.

I guess that's all. Hope everyone is well. Later peeps.
iriesara - 01/14/10 11:55
Unfortunately I can't afford concerts anymore. Although he's already been pretty lucky in that regard. He's "seen" Bob Dylan, Paul Simon and Santana while still in utero. And since the great escape he's seen a bunch of concerts too. The last one I took him to was Tom Petty for his 3rd birthday, but that was a long time ago.

I'm sure he'll be fine. Sometimes as a parent, those paralyzing "Oh my God, what if..." moments hit. Especially as a mother, you have to carefully extricate yourself from the web of fear, else you'll just live like a freak who insists her 15 year old still holds her hand. I don't roll like that.
paul - 01/13/10 22:21
In response to (e:metalpeter), I remember bringing (e:mike) to concerts when he was like 12. Those were the days.
paul - 01/13/10 22:20
Can't wait to see you. Holy crap time flies. 40 years. Terry and I hit 10 and Matthew 8. I have a feeling 40 is just around the corner.
metalpeter - 01/13/10 18:15
I can't and won't tell you how to Parent I've seen some crazy and great stuff at concerts. What I can say is that maybe he will go to concerts with you. Granted not for long that is more like a mom and daugter or father and son thing. In my time I have seen parents and kids go see the same band and they both really like the band. But I have seen the other side where some little kid not sure if it was with a parent or maybe brother or something hit a pipe, i have no idea what was in it.

In Terms of the 40 years maybe they really are sole mates. Maybe they understand the "for sickness and Health" means you stick by the person in the bad times, you just don't get up and leave. Or maybe it is that they get that once you have a kid their needs, not happiness, come first and that it is about what mom and or dad wants to do, it is about what is best for the kid(s). I don't know. I can't imagine that strong of a commitment I really can't.

05/28/2009 13:08 #48773

Elijah Rockin the Mic
Category: elijah
Okay, so my boy's school play for drama club was last night, in which he played a bully. It was more like a musical. Anyway, here's a couple of pics from his little solo. I must say, he rocked it out. totally blues brothers/mick jagger style, if you ask me. I was rolling!


Here's him responding to the people behind him.


Hope everyone is well. I'm doin ok. Just finished up the semester at school and happy about the summer. Elijahs got another 2 weeks, then the fun begins.

I really need to use estrip more to post pics of the boy.


iriesara - 05/29/09 11:10
yeah, taking 2 classes/semester. Doesn't sound like much, but with working full time and mama-ing it's quite a lot for me. i'm a much better student than i used to be though!
paul - 05/28/09 19:31
You are in school now?

01/22/2009 13:38 #47490

Category: friends
Happy Birthday Paul!
I wish I had some pictures of us when we were little, they'd be hysterical! Or from the sewers, or the grainmills, or hitchhiking home from Grand Island (misc. nipples), or falling through the ice at Delaware Lake (yes, I know it's Hoyt lake, but to me it'll always be Delaware Lake), running around a "ghostbusters" downtown on 1/2-days or playing tortoise and making you come find many crazy crazy times. I wish it were still like that and we could just go on adventures all day, but alas, we had to grow up!
Love you very much, little brother!
paul - 01/22/09 15:22
Thanks! I wish so bad that I had a camera back then.

12/12/2008 18:32 #47046

T Minus 10 Days & Counting
Just a reminder (for anyone who knows me or cares in the least - hint, hint) that I, my man, and my boy will be touching down in the B-Lo a week from Monday (the 22nd). Can't wait to see everyone, maybe meet some of you I've known voyeuristically these past few. We will definitely be in attendance for the New Year's Eve shindig (minus the 9-year-old), which I am much looking forward to.
So listen, Paul Terry & Matt, you better clear up your calendars, because we've got three years worth of chillin to do in less than 2 weeks, plus all my other relatives to see.
terry - 12/12/08 22:39
10 days...I am so excited! We are gonna party you right up. Can't wait to see you and Elijah.
paul - 12/12/08 20:14
Yes, it shall be a grand ol' time. I can't believe Elijah is 9.
matthew - 12/12/08 18:37
Woohoo! Can't wait to see you again! We are old and boring now, so we'll have lots of free time for you.