i'm on a mission to find any job and come to blo for thanksgiving.

wish me luck.

and a date with my crush. two missions.

for the most part i have had to delete/excommunicate many people in this state from my life. i always thought buffalo was crazy central...

there seems to be a difference between your average buffalo crazy and the crazies here however. the crazies here will go to great lengths to cover up their crazy and appear somewhat normal. these crazies have jobs, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends as well. they seem to be normal functioning people.... until the floodgates open to their personal lives and you slowly realize something is quite wrong. what appeared to be normal relationships now become something quite different.

how do you tell a once friend, "Sorry but need to be less emotional, crying, needy, angry, stress ridden, and more fun in general to be my friend." ??????

you don't. i can't tell someone that, i don't want to be mean. frankly, i would take the buffalo crazy over this kind of crazy any day. in buffalo, people present themselves as what they are and not some cheesy facade of a character that doesn't really exist.

the job market really sucks... i once had a decent job and now that i'm abut to graduate it looks dim. the good news is that i am willing to go pretty much anywhere at this point. well, warm places really.

ok, now fun times story. there is this total hottie in my service learning class and i'm just so attracted to him. to be clear, this never happens. there is maybe one other person i am currently this attracted to and they are crazy. anyway, he is just so dreamy to me and it goes beyond looks.... he is funny and witty and seems interesting and intelligent. and he also really doesn't like cats which is a huge plus.

and he's super tall which is my number one thing... i just like tall guys.

anyway, i sent him this email last week through school and asked a question about some film he was telling me about and he didn't respond. but then i saw him in class yesterday and he didn't mention it and we walked out of class together and i forgot to mention it. so, i suppose he never read the email?

i think he's too shy to ask me out so i probably need to do something about this... i'm so bad at this and he makes me nervous. it's been forever since i had a crush like this.... years, maybe a decade, maybe more.

it's actually so much of a crush that it has been motivating me to eat healthy and exercise. wowowowowowowowow!!!!!!!

i am taking a justice studies course, which turns out to be way more work than i thought but the class is actually quite interesting. i watched a documentary yesterday about people wrongfully accused of and charged with crimes they had nothing to do with.

this really scares me. there are people that are serving life sentences for murders they did not commit. also, so many people confess to crimes they did not commit for fear of being charged with the maximum sentence.

i learned two things:

1. stay away from sketchy people.

2. make decent money so you can afford a good lawyer if needed.

she has nothing to do with this post, but she is so pretty and i love her. i sent her a stuffie(strange stuffed animal thing with hidden pockets) and she never called me. i got played by my own niece...

What was I thinking? 3 hrs of drumming and no coordination musically was a terrible idea and just a no fun ending to Mondays.


Well, here's to an easy A.

a lot of teachers that i used to work with would refer to students as high and low..... it bothers me. isn't there a less demeaning and more intelligent way of indicating what level a student is at academically.

right now, i would rate myself not that high achieving. i just completed my fist round of coursework for the semester and it was days of an inward struggle with myself. i did everything to avoid doing this work, including but not limited to:

shopping for things i don't need

watching t.v. and movies which often bored me

sleeping and then taking naps as well

eating, and then eating again

socializing too much and even when i didn't feel like being social

texting

talking on the phone

looking at lame stuff on instagram

oh, and i did actually workout once!

anyway, the point is that it really wasn't that bad completing the work and surprise.... i actually learned quit a bit! the classes i learn the most from are often the least enjoyable. however, it's the reading where you really get the good stuff. it feels good to think on a worldly level and stop being concerned with my mostly silly day to day concerns. i feel refreshed knowing that i learned quite a bit today.

(e:paul) needs to stop posting blogs of my fam.... i'm ronery.