oh, you know the story..
(e:theecarey,45899)
(e:theecarey,35925)
and now for the exciting season premier of
Itsy Bitsy Monster part 3!!
That's right folks, we have another monster sighting.
Laundry. I actually like doing laundry. I have a laundry shoot in my bathroom which leads to my finished basement that is rather cozy. It could only get better if I had a dumb waiter to hoist the clean laundry back up the stairs!
So why do my most traumatic scream inducing moments have to revolve around doing laundry? This also reinforces that basements of any kind (even clean ones with humidifiers) are scary. I hate dishes. So it would be much more appropriate to have traumatizing events paired to a sink full of dirty dishes.
And so, the story of last nights episode begins with my running down stairs at 11pm to throw in a load of whites. I usually do my laundry at night, which does not help the creepiness factor at all.
I was picking stuff up off the floor and cramming it in the washer while it is filling with water. As I proceed to stuff the last item in, I notice movement.
ugh.
I do a double take and immediately realize what it is.
It is the star of the show!
(scream #1)
"It" is trying to get away from the water! I quickly turn the water off and watch it attempt to climb the washer basin. It is grabbing onto the little holes in the washer to pull itself up. I think I saw it pull out some rope and carabiner all the while swearing at itself as it slide back down to the dampened laundry.
I was frozen in my moment of being grossed out and freaked out, but then I thought of
(e:tinypliny) and her concern over not having any real updates on the monster in quite some time (almost a year!). So I ran back up the stairs and grabbed my camera.
and a dried up mop that hangs in my stair case.
(I need protection)
How would I get it out? I did not want to try to wash it to his death. As:
1. That thing is so huge, I do not want soggy spider bits strewn throughout my laundry.
2. I would actually feel bad. No, I really would.
3. We all know it wouldn't die. It would enjoy the water ride and then get fluffed and de-static in the drier. Maybe a mani-pedi afterwards?
So how to proceed?
If my neighbor (who I share the building with) was home, I'd have called him to help me. Seriously. He is a Sheriff/Seargent and *should* have something in his arsenal to take down a mutant spider, right?! It was too late to lure anyone over to help me. Alas, I was alone.
(well, not really...)
Not sure how to get "him" out, I thought I would "encourage" him to come out on his own. We seemed to have one thing in agreement: he didn't want to be in there and I didn't want him in there.
I made a towel bridge. Took a towel and dangled it down into the washer and offered him a ramp to climb up and out of the washer (no, I had not thought yet about what to do once he got to the top). He seemed receptive to this.
Once he got partway up the towel, he maneuvered along the back of it so I couldn't see where he was going. Silly me poked my head in for a closer look.
These bastards JUMP.
and so do I.
(scream #2)
(Next time I wanted to see where he went, I used my camera to take shots into the washer to see if I can find him without having to shove my face in for a closer look. This worked! I shall write a hand book.)
Although he got the idea of the ramp, he didn't follow through to getting himself out, so I knew at this point I needed to lend a helping hand (separated by the distance of a mop, that is).
The handle of the mop has a hole for use in hanging the mop on a hook. This hole (as with most everything else in existence) is smaller than the spider. If I could get him to sit his fat ass down on the handle, then I could swoop him up and out of the washer.
Now some people would have just squished the hairy freak with the handle, but (OMG) I didn't want to be sprayed with spider guts.I had prodded him a bit, and it felt like I was pressing into an animal. This thing has substance. I'd need a bow and arrow rather than a mop handle to do any real damage.
So I proceed with this rescue lift attempt.
Again, he seems receptive to this.
A few attempts and some 40 minutes later, we've got it. I scoop him out of the washer and before I can think of what to do next, he hops off the broom and gallops across the basement into the darkest corner under the staircase.
Turned the washer back on, added some bleach and got out of the basement.
My throat hurt from screaming (I'm not much of a screamer) and my heart felt like it was in my throat for awhile.
He is still down there.. somewhere.. eating children and puppies.
Until next time, friend*..
I actually thought to take a video sometime during that whole episode (I'll work on uploading it).
The star:
- Ok, at this point, He/She needs a name. Go for it!
The Towel Ramp
Dirty socks
The underside of the towel ramp
ok, that veggie or whatever it is looks like worms, and i would not eat it.
and not a fruit... hehe
and not green. lol
Like Okra but without the r.. and the k.