Perhaps you've heard of this already. For those of you who have not, Sacha Baron Cohen has one question - "Hey Eminem, how does my ass taste?"



I love this picture. Eminem looks like he's short of breath. What's wrong, bud?

Read more about it here - you'll see some pictures and a video of the stunt.

How gay is Bruno? I think this character has the potential to be even more outrageous than Borat.

The thing about Baron Cohen, which they do point out, is that typically his characters victimize unsuspecting individuals who are not in on the joke. As it turns out, the joke was on all of the celebrities in attendance - Eminem was in on it, complete with a full dress rehearsal.

One of the most iconic Depression-era constructions, the Golden Gate Bridge, turns 72 today. SF Chronicle posted some pictures from many eras of its life -

Paid for at the time with a bond issue, as well as tolls (ostensibly for interest payments - the interest was paid off 38 years ago, but the tolls remain). Another Depression-era construction that is world famous - Rockefeller Center. Paid for entirely by John D. Rockefeller! Still in private hands as well.

Happy birthday to the most beautiful bridge on earth!

My first ever attempt to grow tomatoes starts here -



I went with Brandywine (got 'em at the Co-op - Porter Farms organic eco-'maters) mainly because of the shape and ultimate size of the fruit (beefsteak, and fucking huge - upwards of 2 lbs). Also, it was all they had at 9pm on Saturday. Oh well!

Doing some preliminary research showed me that this fruit is well suited to grow here, since it essentially originated along the northeastern seaboard. (This is an obvious point though, really - after all, they came from a WNY farm). The plants will allegedly grow up to 6-8 feet tall. I'm not sure what the best thing to do would be - indoors or outdoors. I suppose I'm a little concerned about the proximity to the street - this will definitely be done in a 5-gallon pot, or possibly larger, depending on what advice I get. I'm obsessed with making this work - the only thing I didn't consider was the 85-day or so period I'll be waiting until the fruit shows up. In August, I'm going to have the best organic brandywine tomatoes on 700 block of Elmwood, dammit!

Wish me luck. Any and all advice is most welcome.

Oh - what else. Today I spent most of the day alone in solitude, hanging out and enjoying myself. Jay went to see Keane play in Toronto with our bud JV, I stayed behind because this past week exhausted me. Before that, we went to the outlet to get (e:jason) new threads. It's fair to say that I dressed him, with the exception of the nice sneakers he got - he seemed to like the stuff I picked out as we went through, which I would say were bohemian enough for my tastes without completely sacrificing (e:jason)'s good looks and professionalism. Linen shirts and slacks, a nice casual, lightweight blazer, v-neck t-shirt, etc. - as for me, I replaced my well-worn Birkenstocks and really just came for the cruise and to help (e:jason). I read some short stories (which I'm still processing - Murakami is a strange man at times - go read his story "TV People"), ate gelato, had a mucho iced soy chai from you-know-where - overall, a lovely day.

Facebook Quizzes

I've noticed that a few of my people on FB are completing the "How well do you know X person?" quizzes. It made me realize a few things -

1) Only a few people could complete one of these about me because I'm a bit secretive and I'm a hard guy to get close to. (Grammar police - do not forsake me, for I know what I've done).

2) I'm not sure how well I would do if I completed one of these for my friends. I would be fine with my good friends, but for people such as my friends' wives? C'mon. A friend recently completed one of these for a friend's wife and he scored 42% - as far as I'm concerned that is the equivalent of an A.

3) Inevitably someone who is sending this quiz to their friends will be disappointed to discover that somebody close didn't know the person as well as he or she thought. This is when the dramatics flare up like a SoCal brush fire.

Sirius

Satellite radio is great - right now I'm listening to Wolfman Jack DJing a late night shift on the 60s on 6 channel. Ahh, the sixties - the absolute best time in American music history. The only problem is that Wolfman Jack has been dead since 1995 - a little strange. The story behind it - they unearthed some of the legendary DJ's previously lost shows and are broadcasting them.

I really do love the music - it makes me realize how cheated and manipulated music fans are these days. They can keep Kanye West - I'll keep Marvin Gaye. They can keep Fall Out Boy - I'll keep The Rolling Stones, The Byrds, Bob Dylan, The Beatles. Today's music generally sucks, and it's never made so starkly apparent as when you listen to things such as the 60's on 6. In those days, you were a "listener." These days you are a " music consumer."

It made me realize that we've lost something in American culture that I really, really love. That is the nationally known, influential, monolithic, trend setting radio DJ. There really isn't any more big guns in the radio world and I think its a sad side effect of our move towards iPods, digital media, etc. In other words I think it is a negative aspect of our cultural evolution.

In that sense I think its admirable, even appropriate, for satellite radio to tip their cap to the past and air these Wolfman Jack shows, as well as hire "Cousin Brucie" to host satellite radio shows, thus completing the circle. I might not have lived through that time, but I'm convinced that anybody who did would recognize what I have after listening to the channel for a while. I can't be the only person my age who recognizes these things, can I? Maybe I'm learning about what my buddy Jerry meant years ago when he told me I was an "old soul."

Kerouac wrote in his preface to Visions of Cody - "this feeling may soon be obsolete as America enters its High Civilization period and no one will get sentimental or poetic any more about trains and dew on fences at dawn in Missouri." Maybe he was right, but at least that's not true in this house. I'm a sentimental guy with a long memory - oh, look - now your "How well do you know Josh?" score is now 1%. Ha!

Controversy

(e:jason) mentioning the BBQ article (I forgot that I had forwarded it to him!) has triggered the motivation to go on an old-fashioned rant as you've seen me do in the past.

To wit: (and I do read this paper daily - their food section is the best in America).

"While summer quenchers like light beer and iced tea are refreshing if you're mowing the lawn or tending a hot grill, I want a more robust adult beverage when I sit down to juicy slices of grilled beef or smoky, finger-licking barbecue."

Really? This is war. Thank God that in this country, for now anyway, we still have the freedom of choice. Or if you're me, the freedom of antipathy and excoriation. Let me translate - "While beer and iced tea are okay for the bumpkins who cut their own grass, I prefer a more sophisticated beverage with my BBQ. You know, less rough around the edges and more palatable to my banal sensitivities."

Food writers are generally insufferable. When the article started talking about "interplays" with sauce, smoke, etc. affecting the beverage of choice I had enough.

The Truth

Here's the deal. The food comes first, not the accompanying drink. Anyone that says otherwise is fucking wrong, okay? The fact that the article is titled "Pairing wines with grilling favorites" rather than "Pairing grilling favorites with wines" says it all. Now you certainly may expect to see this kind of thing in an overwhelmingly yuppie city like SF, where more often than not your exposure to BBQ will be in a sit-down restaurant with silverware, a water course, horrifying conversations going on around you and an utter lack of wet-naps.

Drinking wine with your BBQ is best done at home alone, where no BBQ cognoscenti will actually witness what is going on; sort of like your alcoholic uncle nipping from a flask in his jacket when nobody is looking.

Of course this sort of shit goes on in California - there is no reputable BBQ tradition there and the state is full of transients, both legal and illegal. This scenario is going to create a melting pot of theories about food, and let's face it, there is no better region for foodies anywhere in America than the Bay Area. Pair this with the famous wine industry in the area, and you're bound to have experimentation.

This isn't to say that it works, or that it is appropriate, mind you. Pairing BBQ with wine is as crazy a concept as pairing a burrito with wine. Hey (e:jay), do you think that Gramma Mora's last night could have been enhanced with a splash of Beaujolais? The spiciness of the sauce would have really made everything pop!

Fuck me, I can't even handle that in jest - I blame Bartles and fucking James and those 4-packs.

This is what you drink with BBQ if you wish to avoid embarrassment; beer (go easy drinking, you'll enjoy nowt with a stout), iced tea, water, or juice. BBQ is not a high-class endeavor - it is meant to be done amongst friends in a casual manner, out in the backyard with some tunes, green grass, plastic cups, fire, sunsets and the sort of good times our grandparents had.

BBQ is more than food, it's a classic American activity with a tradition that demands respect. Wine belongs just about anywhere other than with BBQ, just like sushi belonging just about anywhere other than a baseball stadium.