I just want my FIOS account at my house now. Supposedly time warner is starting bandwidth limiting. With overage fees of $1/GB. That is seriously going to change the internet as I know it. It makes you think about doing things like listening to internet radio while playing a game or download all the different Linux ISOs for fun.

I guess Time Warner just wants to accelerate themselves going out of business as soon as there is any other choice.

The year before she was taken away at gun point.

Okay seriously hurt my neck which has now turned into neck/rib/spine/sternum drama and is making me crazy. It all started out just being a strained neck but then accommodating for the strained neck I managed to hurt everything else. It makes me not able to work out very much or worse still - not able to dance freely.

I made both a chiropractic and massage therapy appointment for tomorrow. Do you think it is bad to mix? And is there an order like, "beer after liquor, never been sicker."

I just want it to stop hurting and thanks to crohn's and can't take ibuprofin - that is if I even have crohn's. Knock on wood its been almost a year since I have had any chrohn's symptoms. Basically since my gangrenous appendix came out about one year ago (e:paul,44043) Frankly, I am still convinced it was the culprit all along.

So today I actually spent time watching youtube videos about girls with anorexia.

I learned that there is this thing called Thinspo which stands for thinspiration. Try searching it there is a ton of inspirational material to help girls stay thin.

When I was in high school I dated this one girl who was so anorexic but honestly, she had it easy compared to girls who have it now. There is a whole online support culture to feed the mania now.

Look what you get if you just start typing thinsp into youtube search


I am slightly fascinated by people who die from not eating considering how hard I try to gain weight. They are like my anti-matter.

What is your internet rock bottom?

UPDATE:
Okay this is freakin redic. This is so wrong of me, but he looks like he just has aids.


How crazy is this CBS Anorexia's Living Face Her knees make me feel sick.



This is the ultimate in bad combo. Imagine being an exhibitionist, bullemic in the age of youtube

I am a public eating disorder artist, activist and educator. I am have done and am available for media/tv, magazine/print, photo/documentaries, research/projects and various educational interviews. If you would like my help on an educational or research project, contact me with more details. I use my You Tube account to reach out to people and deliver educational videos, as well as raw and honest video journals. I am not recovered nor do I claim to be. I am struggling, I am fighting. Recovery is a lifelong commitment. Get in it so you can win it!

I decided to just give up on os x and go back to linux 100%. What a circular pattern I am in. I am not exactly even sure why I went mac to begin with. I feel like one of those straight guys that got drunk and hooked up with their buddy only to regret it later.

I guess the hardware is nice - when its not broken. I should have just stayed here in the first place. Maybe I was just lured by photoshop, flexbuilder gui and a reasonable flash player. COme to think of it, its really adobe's fault. I mean how can maya come out on every platform and somehow photoshop can't. Well I am down with the gimp again. I will just miss shapes and vectors. I guess there is always inkscape. I just wish they could be one like photoshop.

The first thing I noticed is that I can't believe how freakin snappy everything is. When I say logout or shutdown - it freakin logs out. None of this so and so canceled your restart bullshit. When I say open firefox, there it is. WIll I miss safari - a little bit? WIll it still exist in my dumb ass windows virtual machine for testing IE and safari - yes.

Also, the amount of time I will save not have to try an implement everything the way it is on the server, because it just is that way will be amazing. No more trying to compile some obscure library for osx because it doesn't exist.

To make sure I was serious, I just went ahead and deleted all my mac server stuff. No more macports, no more apache with mysql blah blah php, subversion. Its all in fedora now.

In fact the laptop is little more than a shell for projects I am working on at the moment. I check out with svn, do my work, commit and erase from disk. No more musik, no photos, no backup files, nothing. It all lives in the clouds. Either on the estrip server, the work server or the home server.

It makes me feel so much better that if someone kicked me in the laptop, I'd have nothing to lose.