my math tutor just cancelled on me because her fiance and son are sick... or did she party too hard???

i am currently in a state of panic because i will fail this exam tomorrow without some serious help. eeeeeek.

she says she can help me tomorrow before the exam, but that is not enough.

i have already called a friend begging for help... i will do pretty much anything, i just need to get at least a c on this exam. screw a's, i just want a c.

NOT a good way to start the week. stressed about things like math....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :(

i am now going to say a prayer.

the kind of begging i speak of is the more grown up positive kind. i think i convinced my boss to give me a f/t job.

also, she doesn't have an issue with me taking a week off in march, so blo is awwwwnnnn!

i suppose having faith does work, and also keeping a positive attitude.

i can't wait to see that baby girl and give her snuggles and kisses!!!!!!!!!

since i will no longer be working with the kiddie, i will be long overdue and in need of hugs and love from a little monster cutie.

i am really to put on happy face, but it's hard, because this week has thus far been just full of bad news.

so, i am going to make a list of the good and the bad to put things into perspective. the rest, i will just put my faith into, and really hope that things work out.

good:

• guy i work with is the sweetest man ever and bought me some creamy vanilla starbucks things.

• i have a place to live.

• i have family and friends that love me.

• i have a new baby niece.

• i have a decent car that is almost paid off.

• i have many many cute shoes and clothes and makeup galore.

• i have the sunshine.

• my health.

• i have rockband, which is a major plus.

bad:

• i have no job.

• i hate the recession and the consistent flow of bad news.

• i am canceling my trip to blo until further notice, and i already purchased the ticket.

• i am going to beg my boss to give me more hours.

so, the good outweighs the bad, and i am going to force myself to smile. and also, have some faith.

lately i get set off about most everything.


every small detail must go my way, or else that is it.

i think i do quite a good job at hiding my rage... since i tend to just avid all people when i am like this, because i don't enjoy being so angry all the time.

i don't really think it has to do with anyone but myself, but when i get in these fits of rage... such as the current moment, i really feel like screaming.

anyway, i have found that focusing all of this rage on school and work helps, but as soon as i am not involved with either, and something bothers me i begin to freak out again.

maybe the super bowl makes me really angry???

one thing that does not make me so mad is the fact that i am now getting back all of my hours at work and then some. this is definitely good news because having to search for another job right now would be such a hassle, and also likely to cause another fit of rage.

when i get mad, i try to think of steve carell because i am in love with him forever and always...

i feel that my blog has been lacking lately. yesterday in class, i was inspired to create a new category of journals, "public offenders". this category is dedicated to the topic of people who lack certain social etiquette, and my experiences with these people.

what is a "public offender" you ask, and how can they be spotted? well, it's easy, such a person, or persons you will notice right away, whether it be their clothing, smell, actions, or simply their presence in any social setting. i feel that these people have gotten away with their wrongdoings for too long, and someone needs to bring to light this crisis.

public offender #1: i headed to math class yesterday after, freshly showered and looking quite dapper if a do say so myself. i enter the room a few minutes late, and head to my usual seat. after i had settled in, my noise is quite bothered by an awful smell. now, mind you i am currently sick, and also have many allergies; which means i don't have the best sense of smell. i start to worry maybe it is me, but then i think, no way, and i come to realize it is the person sitting next to me; he smells like a mixture of mcdonald's and cigarettes. i am repulsed. the smell was quite possibly one of the worst i have experienced. i tried to move away, but there was only so far i could go, and i didn't want to switch seats because i always sit there and i am friendly with him and he helps me if i am confused.

after two hours of class, the smell followed me through they day, and i was finally able to rid myself of it around 8pm. now, not all smokers smell that way, but this guy clearly has some issues with his scent. i don't think he will ever have a girlfriend unless she smells the same. i have been around other smokers, and did not experience this awfulness, but it makes me hate cigarette and macdonald's more than ever before.

coming up, public offender #2...shouldn't take long, there are so many people out there waiting to horrify your senses.