my mother just spray tanned me in her shower. i was basically nude. then i ran around to try an dry it faster; i am insane.

but at least i will have a hot spray(non-cancer) tan for my hot outfit saturday night!

i know what you're thinking, well, no i really don't, but i have been working so hard the past month and it's a sea of 14-16 hr days and this party is gonna be sooooo much fun.

oh the stories i will have to tell the grandkids one day!!!

:)

and it'd better warm up because it's been in the 50's all week, and i can't take it anymore.

i think the math test went well....

my math tutor just cancelled on me because her fiance and son are sick... or did she party too hard???

i am currently in a state of panic because i will fail this exam tomorrow without some serious help. eeeeeek.

she says she can help me tomorrow before the exam, but that is not enough.

i have already called a friend begging for help... i will do pretty much anything, i just need to get at least a c on this exam. screw a's, i just want a c.

NOT a good way to start the week. stressed about things like math....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :(

i am now going to say a prayer.

the kind of begging i speak of is the more grown up positive kind. i think i convinced my boss to give me a f/t job.

also, she doesn't have an issue with me taking a week off in march, so blo is awwwwnnnn!

i suppose having faith does work, and also keeping a positive attitude.

i can't wait to see that baby girl and give her snuggles and kisses!!!!!!!!!

since i will no longer be working with the kiddie, i will be long overdue and in need of hugs and love from a little monster cutie.

i am really to put on happy face, but it's hard, because this week has thus far been just full of bad news.

so, i am going to make a list of the good and the bad to put things into perspective. the rest, i will just put my faith into, and really hope that things work out.

good:

• guy i work with is the sweetest man ever and bought me some creamy vanilla starbucks things.

• i have a place to live.

• i have family and friends that love me.

• i have a new baby niece.

• i have a decent car that is almost paid off.

• i have many many cute shoes and clothes and makeup galore.

• i have the sunshine.

• my health.

• i have rockband, which is a major plus.

bad:

• i have no job.

• i hate the recession and the consistent flow of bad news.

• i am canceling my trip to blo until further notice, and i already purchased the ticket.

• i am going to beg my boss to give me more hours.

so, the good outweighs the bad, and i am going to force myself to smile. and also, have some faith.

lately i get set off about most everything.


every small detail must go my way, or else that is it.

i think i do quite a good job at hiding my rage... since i tend to just avid all people when i am like this, because i don't enjoy being so angry all the time.

i don't really think it has to do with anyone but myself, but when i get in these fits of rage... such as the current moment, i really feel like screaming.

anyway, i have found that focusing all of this rage on school and work helps, but as soon as i am not involved with either, and something bothers me i begin to freak out again.

maybe the super bowl makes me really angry???

one thing that does not make me so mad is the fact that i am now getting back all of my hours at work and then some. this is definitely good news because having to search for another job right now would be such a hassle, and also likely to cause another fit of rage.

when i get mad, i try to think of steve carell because i am in love with him forever and always...