but Google News wanted me to.



I went down to the Apple Store this morning to finally fix my dang Airport card. I can only get reliable reception if I'm in the same room as the base station, which is seriously starting to cramp my style. (e:dragonlady7) came along to get her top case replaced since we discovered it was covered under warranty. While we were waiting for Geniuses [genii] I wandered around to the Edutainment department and picked up this gem Wandering back to the Genius Bar I told her I needed it. She was like: ok honey if you want to. Then when I read the back of the box I said yo, this shit is like a total ripoff of LEMONADE.STAND.



And she was like, wut. And I was like yeah it was actually kinda difficult because you'd get different weather and stuff and then the genius who was serving someone else was like yeah and then your mom would cut off your sugar and your costs would go up. And then the other genius was like yeah and then your road would be closed for construction. And I know the other people who had serious problems were getting kind of annoyed but we were taking it back old skool. Long story short, they want my box for 24-48hrs for diagnosis. Not today.

Here's an image I drew yesterday for reasons that are not anywhere near interesting*. I thought it was funny but couldn't come up with anything to say about it. No you can't buy this cap.



- Z

_______________

• We needed an image of a cap with a placeholder everywhere a logo would go.

I think the thing about Mac OS X is it doesn't have the same sense of humor about itself that Windows does.



Like seriously what does this even mean? Does it go into a larger Recycle Bin? C:/Windows/Dumpster?

Maybe it puts the Recycle Bin into itself, and you get Mobius trash.*

- Z

_______________

• For those who thought: 'wouldn't that make it Klein trash?' I bring you Acme Klein Bottles home of the Klein Stein and the Mobius Scarf

This is a jar of store-brand whole black pepper.



1. Why a shaker top? What kind of deranged individual shakes whole black peppercorns onto their food? I can think of two recipes* that call for whole black peppercorns, and when I make them I usually just pour them out of the top of the pepper grinder.

2. The copy on the label which is probably too blurry to read, says

These are the highly regarded Tellicherry peppercorns from India...

You don't mean the highly regarded Tellicherry peppercorns from India?! You mean the ones everyone has been talking about down at the Pepper Club? You mean the ones that won Pepper Spectator's most prestigious "Highly Regarded" award in 2003 and 2004? Wow, that must be some pepper.

- Z

_______________

• Corned beef, and poached salmon.

You can make hot dogs in the Toast-R-Oven. If I'da known this ten years ago, college would have been very different.

- Z

...or, an easy way to waste one hour, three minutes, and 49 seconds of your life.

There's actually a lot of pretty cool stuff on YouTube. But how come when I'm bored all I can find is Japanese gameshows?

First we've got some Scottish dude with a pianozookelele singing Europe's 'The Final Countdown.'



Which led me to these Latvian dudes rocking out with their cellos out. [Yes I've heard of Apocalyptica.]



Here's some other Latvian dudes for whom walking is just too boring. [fast forward two minutes]



And then I spent like a couple hours watching Flight of the Conchords videos.



This guy over here isn't on YouTube but he listened to 'Dancing Queen' on Repeat One for an entire four-hour road trip -- and then got stuck in traffic for another hour. I don't know why.



- Z

_______________
You wanted Japanese gameshows? Like for reals? Fine, here's Marshmallow Eater, What a Cool We Are, Silent Library, cat weightlifting, Door Runner, and Brain Wall keeping the treadmill and ice water industries in business. I can only imagine what kind of poor life decisions turn you into a recurring character on these shows.