Here I am the year I wrote this. Before the happy trail turned into a happy rain forest.

Dear Parental Guidance and their youngest child, my biological brother,
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TORTOISE LOVING VEGAN CRUSADER
On a 90 degree humid day in marakesh, morocco, I was pacing quickly though the market as to avoid the possible "sales confrontations" that African Markets are so famous for. I began to speed up when appoaching the leather district as it is so hard to explain dead cow in a foreign language. The glance given by the corner of my eye was caught by an odd instrument upon a store wall. It resembled a tortoise but had a leather wrapper stick attached to one end and some decorations. To my surpirse it was a highly decorated toirtse carcas. Outrageous as it may seem, western tourists pirahcse them under the pretense that it is a guitar.
I contrinued to walk along in disgust until I reached an apothecary, curious as I am a someday botanist, as to which plants were utlized as medication ,narcotics, aphrpdesiacs, etc. A hardly audible scratching noise was emminating frm a box inside the store. It reminded me of the obessessive scratching rituals my tortoises particpated in when they were restricted in territory during travel. I asked the store keeper what sort of animal he felt it was proper to keep in a small box with no air aholes. He said it was only a tortoise and they are made into some sort of aphrodesiac. I asked his price for all three. After an endles series of bargainings we decided on 350 girhma, This is approximately $35 US. He was nonetheless exceptionally surprised. The tortoises were a geochelone variety but without a texonomic guide thats as far as I could go.
I was given the tortoises in a plastic bag, similar in shape and function to a walmart bag. It was absolutely useless. Immediatly I took the tortoises out and carried them in my arms, They were three different sizes. One 7 inces, one 4 and one 3. The largest was a male, as he made certainly apparent, the other two were female I believe, having relatively small, wide tales and completely flat carpaces. Part of the bargain was that I would not tell the police where I got them if questioned. I swore on my word, with my fingers crosses of course. I brought them to a man I knew was going to the mountains on wednesday. He said he would take them, to their proper habitat and was so impressed with my convinctions that he invited me to dinner of couscous and tomato soup vegan of course.
For the two days unitl he left fo the mountains, I visited his home and brought the tortoises a bounty of food. They ate extremely well for the stress they put up with. When I left morocco I knew what I had acocomplished was only a fraction of what has to be done. In northern Africa, as well as other 3rd world reptile habitats, tortoises are currently being mutilated and gutted to make isignificant trinkets of death, such as guitars, jewlery, aphrodesiacs, etc - although international, as well as, regional law and their enfrocement have made a stance they are not enought, nor will they ever be, These tortoises are not dying because the natives subsist on "tortoise parts" and in actuality, the natives are not at fault in the issue. It is another case of eco-unfriendly tourism. The ones to blame here are the western and asian tourists who bring these horrrific souvenirs of tortured death home.
Just as in the issue of fur or the veal industry, the only way to stop the madness is to inform. So this month try and tell 10 people a week about theis issue Make it simple and to the point. Then mhave them all also promise to tell 10 people a week for only month. In no time millions of ppeopl will know and you have have made a difference.
WAIT DO NOT SEND THIS I HAVE TO CORRECT IT AND ADD MORE EMOTIONAL APPEAL!
Love,
Vegan
i just love the part at the end about more emotional appeal. hahahahha!
That's so interesting!!! Post more letters!!! Loving them!
BTW, in that photo you look like some of those old south indian kings and god sculptures at the Southern temples. :)
I so can believe it's you writing, you've always written (and spoken) like that when it's anything remotely intellectual. In fact, whenever I read Sherlock Holmes, it's always a little bit of you with whatever fake british accent my subconscious comes up with for you. You talk just like him.
Me either. Well not only was I very differently opinioned about food, although tortoises still hold a special place in my mind, I was also young. This was written when I was 19 and now I am 31.
I can't believe this is you writing Paul.