I want to preface this with a little note. I know there are some people on this site who can't legally get "married" to the one they love in NYS. In Buffalo Quaker Meeting there is a 70 year old woman who has spent half her life fighting for GLBT rights. And when NYS decides to turn the corner, I know Buffalo Quaker Meeting will be one of the first to recognize marriage for everyone who is in love, and I would be happy to be invited.


Part 2: The Ceremony.

We wanted to have the ceremony outside under this huge tree in the front yard, but we weren't sure if it would happen. The forecast was calling for 70% chance of rain. You can't control the weather, but I was just hoping for 2 rain-free hours to do the ceremony outside. The reception was going to be under a huge tent, so it didn't matter if it rained later in the day, but the ceremony would be so much nicer outside under the tree in the front of the house.

When we finished taking pictures at the lake it was windy, really cloudy, and it had rained on us a little. We went back to the house for the ceremony and we both expected the chairs to be safely under the tent. We arrived at the house, and the place looked totally different than how we left it. I'll never forget pulling into the driveway and seeing all these people, gathering in the country with their fancy clothes on, walking in a hundred different directions, moving out of the way of our car as we passed. And to our surprise all the chairs were confidently set up under the tree.


Getting Everything Ready


Our un-signed Wedding Certificate

There were people everywhere! We only had about 10-15 minutes before the ceremony started. I kind of led Molly through the jungle of people so we could go upstairs and get ready, "hi... good to see you, we gotta go hide upstairs..." We paused to give grandma a kiss on the cheek but that was it. I forgot to shave that morning, so I did that. Then I stuck my head out the door to check on the microphones. We waited on the steps, for things to start. Edgar gave everyone an overview of Quaker practice and what would happen during the ceremony. Then we walked out.



We sit in calm silence until we feel moved to say our vows. People might pray, or meditate, or just quiet down their minds to bring a spiritual calm into their hearts.





Quakers would call the silence during meeting, becoming centered, listening for the light within, or waiting for god. Quakers usually worship in silence, unless they are inwardly moved to speak. We waited about 10 minutes. This must have seemed like a long time to non-quakers, but I noticed many of them dreamily gazing at me and my bride, I think they understood. When we were both calm and ready, we said our vows. The sun was out.






First Kiss

Our Vows:
"In the presence of the spirit, our friends and our family, I take thee, to be my Wife. I promise with love, to be caring and compassionate, to be supportive and patient, to show understanding and empathy, to keep an open and honest heart, and to always nurture our shared unity as your Husband from this day forward."

We wrote our vows together, and remembered everything. After saying our vows, we exchanged Rings, and signed the Marriage Certificate.



Then we looked at each other and we both wanted a hug.





That's when everyone gets teary eyed. We sit back down again, and the marriage certificate is read aloud.



For the rest of the meeting we just wait silently for people to share messages from their hearts.


The dog was interested, but he was calm too.


Our View




Under the huge canopy of shade provided by the the ancient and sturdy Maple tree.

There is no minister leading the ceremony, anyone can speak if they are moved to do so. People just raise their hand for a microphone, and share what they wish. It's unscripted, and the messages are very personal, and very spiritual. We waited about 15 minutes in silence. The first message was a song called 'Simple Gifts', it was shared by someone from Buffalo Meeting. Below is a picture of all the people who shared.



As you can see, anyone can speak, weather they're 9 years old or 90. Many people shared stories about us, or they talked about love and marriage, how happy they were for us, and how good we are for each other. Something like this ... "listening to the leaves, and the birds, and feeling the warmth of the sun, it seems as if the heavens are celebrating with us." "May your love be as broad as the branches above you, and as deep as the roots below." "We love when they do First Day School, they're so nice and fun to be around." "The bride adopted us as her grandparents when she moved to Fredonia. She would arrive late at night to sleep at our house, we woke her up, fed her, and gave her a ride to Quaker Meeting on Sunday." "the groom and I have known each other since we were born, and we did all those important things together, like climbing trees or playing with legos." .... It was realy nice.

A few More Photos from during the messages.








Bride's Family


My Mom Sharing, she's so cute.


The Scene for our big Country Wedding.





After the Meeting Ends our families and wedding party sign the Marriage certificate. Everyone at the wedding also signs the certificate during the night. The entire ceremony was wonderful, things went so well, and we got to do it outside under the tree. We are very blessed. Afterward we said hi to some of the guests, and did family portraits.

Next time, the reception. Honeymoon stuff later too.

I'm glad I'm writing all this stuff down, it's nice to remember it now, and I want to keep all the details.

Enjoy

Part One:

We got Married in the Fingerlakes at (e:mmtornow)'s parents house on June 28 2008, and had a 2 week Honeymoon in the Adirondacks afterward. My former co-workers did the photography, and they just gave me all the raw photos afterward, I've spent the past week editing them all. We have about 1000 photos from the wedding, and 1000 from the honeymoon. so this is part one.

We did a lot of work ourselves cause this was a backyard wedding, and we didn't have all that stuff banquet halls have. So we reserved the tent, tables, chairs, linens, and bought plates, napkins, decorations, booze etc. We went out to the Fingerlakes on Wednesday before the wedding to get things ready. We were pretty well prepared.

It was supposed to rain all week, but you can't control the weather, and the tent was big enough to hold everyone, so we didn't worry too much about it. I was just hoping to have the ceremony outside. Here's me and my new Bro-in-law on Thursday morning as the tent is being delivered. He's tall.



as you can see it was raining a bit then, and the forecast for Saturday went from 50% chance of rain to 70% through the week.

Friday Rehersal Dinner.
Glad we did this, because a lot of our 'people' had last minute concerns about everything. After answering about 135 questions apiece, I had a Headache, and (e:mmtornow) was wishing we had just done it at city hall, she was overwhelmed and in tears at the end. So we resolved to enjoy our wedding day no matter what. I told her if anyone asked us any questions on the Wedding day just say "that's your area of expertise, I trust your judgment" and move on. After almost a year of preparation, the wedding day we just had to let it fly. We weren't going to worry about it.

Saturday Morning:
Despite our decision to take it easy, there was a small list of things that needed to be done the day of the wedding. Picking up the beer, and making table numbers were the big ones. But I wasn't going to let (e:mmtornow) worry about it. The hair stylist came at about 9:00 and my plan was to let (e:mmtornow) hide in an air conditioned room while I delegated responsibility. Things went smoothly, I talked to all the 'people' mostly friends who happened to have the skills we needed. then I dropped everything and got dressed about Noon.



That's right, breaking with tradition we got ready together. We're not down with that superstitious tradition stuff. I feel like most of it comes from nervous medieval pre-contraception parents, and arranged marriages. We slept in the same bed, got ready together, and took portraits together before the ceremony. For me, as a wedding photographer, I see all kinds of brides getting ready, putting on their dress and hanging with the girls, it's one of those things, I couldn't miss part of my own wedding story. Actually I even took some pictures on my small camera before the photographers arrived. It made me feel relaxed :).


Bride, sans-wedding dress


Marvin wants to come


That's me checking the list in my head, and rushing to get my tie on for photos.


on the move

Portraits:
We headed to Seneca lake park with the Wedding Party before the ceremony. I'd definitely recommend taking portraits before the ceremony. You have a choice to sit in a room nervously awaiting 3 o'clock, or hang out with your closest friends in a park making each other smile. Pictures definitely kept us relaxed, even without champagne. The weather? It sprinkled a bit, not a problem, and the overcast skies were great for pictures. The photographers are Mike from New Visions Photography my former boss, and Angela my former co-worker. Real easy to work with and friends. They gave me all the Raw files, and did the wedding kind of as a favor.




































Next Entry I'll do the Ceremony. We also got new kitties as a wedding present and I want to post stuff, but I'm doing the wedding first. Enjoy!

(e:mmtornow) and I are about to tie the knot :) this weekend June 28 we are getting married in the Fingerlakes on her parents property. We've been together for 5 and a half years, living together for 3, and engaged for 2.5. The big weekend is here. We are having a Quaker Ceremony, and everything will be outdoors at her parents house. We have a big tent for dinner and the reception.

After photographing over 100 weddings, it has been interesting planning my own. We've found a way to make it personal, and meaningful. We are pretty laid back and frugal people. But we're attentive about aesthetics and we want our guests to feel comfortable and welcome. I think we've bent the traditional wedding mold quite a bit, and I'm thankful that our families are so accepting. Quaker ceremonies are very meaningful and sentimental, I'm glad to be part of this tradition. The reception will be fun too, we have a good DJ, and I think a bunch of people will be out on the dancefloor.

We have been planning for a long time, and at this point we have most of the arrangements wrapped up. I'll be posting some pictures when we get back from our honeymoon. We will be gone for 2 weeks in the Adirondacks, camping, backpacking, sitting by the lake, enjoying peace and quiet.

Just for reference we got engaged on 11/15/2005 (e:dcoffee,21694)

Had much fun this year at the Allentown and Allen West festivals. My friend came up from Angola, he hasn't been since he was a kid. It was fun going with them, they bought a bunch of stuff, and I got Mmtornow a great birthday present :). The weather was perfect, not as hot as it was the past few years. We went both days, I saw most of the festival with my friend on saturday, he wanted to see all of it cause it was a rare occasion for him. We were all sore from walking when we got back home for that well deserved beer. On sunday my main goal was taking pictures, I wanted to capture the scene.

You can see the photos larger at my Flickr Account



Nickel City Co-Op Festivities, "more living less parking"

The pigs have flown, you wild and improbable dreams are about to come true!


Allen West








I can see why this extra festival sprung up. Millions of people come to the streets of Buffalo, but they come for the vendors, many of whom are from out of state. The businesses that usually occupy these streets aren't able to set up tents or compete with the festival. I know restaurants do well, but the businesses on Allen decided to start their own festival, it's a lot of fun. The festivals both have their own charm.

Allentown Art Festival








Louies after the festival saturday, Ambrosia before :)

The Supreme Court ruled today that everyone deserves a right to know why they are in prison. And if you are imprisoned, you get an opportunity to see a judge, have a trial, and if you are innocent get out of prison.

Sounds basic right, but..... it was a 5-4 vote, meaning the Supreme Court just barely saved the Constitution, by one vote.

And those other 4 Justices are Nuts! Don't believe me? Here's Justice Scalia... "America is at war with radical Islamists.. this ruling will almost certainly cause more Americans to be killed." Stop, he's a judge, on the Supreme Court, judges are supposed to interpret the law, and preserve the Constitution right? Where does it say "Uphold the Constitution, unless America is at war with radical Islamists", Where is it? Where's the 'Islamic war exception clause' that allows you to throw out the constitution!?!?!

The main point of the Constitution and the Supreme Court, is to make sure that politicians don't overreact during a war or some other tragedy, and throw out the Bill of Rights in a panic.

Scalia also predicts more Americans will be killed. That's his job? Predicting the future? Those damned "activist judges".... oh, it's conservative activism, legislating from the bench.. that's different.

Some of the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay have been held for 6 years without a trial. They are all declared Enemy Combatants by the president, and that's supposed to make it ok. They don't need a trial to prove they are a threat, the president said so, that's good enough.

America is supposed to be a nation of laws, not ruled by the passions of men. You usually have a trial to prove someone violated a law, then sentence them to prison. There are countries in the world that do it backwards, they declare people an enemy, skip the trial, and throw them in jail forever, those countries are called Dictatorships, and the leaders are called Tyrants. That's why we have a Constitution in This country, to prevent tyrants from seizing power and changing the laws to suit their self interest.

The Supreme Court did its job today, this is good news, that we saved habeas corpus for now, but it worries me that it was such a close decision. The fanatic opposition also worries me. I'm holding my breath for the November elections.


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