49. Develop Equanimity.
The unfortunate fact is I am not. Either cool or even a cucumber. I care too much about everything. I care about everyone around me to the point of interfering in their affairs and offering my opinions. I think its time to stop. Completely grind to a no-opinion, cucumber stop.
My inspiration will aptly be, a CUCUMBER.
Eight alphabets. Eight rules.
Let's see.
It remains a Cucumber.
1. All these rules are not applicable to my family. I will interfere,
judge, argue and be a pain. Nopes, *you* don't escape. HEHE.
It's crUnchy!
2. If situations are chewing on me, then I shall remember the crunch of this post. Keep calm. Drink more water. Remain silent.
It's a Creeper and takes the shape of the trellis that guides it.
3. I shall go with the flow and not interfere with anyone's lives, decisions, opinions and practices. If it is their wish, its their wish alone. It does not concern me.
It has tons of entrapped cucumber jUice.
4. I shall drink more water and cool down. Every time I am irked I shall take the divine opportunity to take a detour to the water cooler and drink some water instead of speaking.
It is Mute.
5. I shall not be offering my opinions anymore, unless I am asked. I shall be silent. Your business is your business alone. Not mine. At all.
Its pollinated by Bumblebees, but only if released into the cucumber field at the proper time.
6. My help and opinions shall be available anytime, and all the time. BUT only if you ask. Not otherwise. I don't want to be sorry that I gave you both but you didn't want them anyway.
Its grEen outside and a delicate shade of the lightest green inside.
7. Err... that means I should be
Its a gReat balancing sandwich component.
8. I shall not judge you whatever you do. Not because I don't care but because I shall respect your right to be who you are and what you want to do plus I don't want to be sorry that I judged you and it was because of my prejudices and beliefs.
Progress report:
1. Did not email much.
2. Working on summaries to (e:chico). One on time, but slipped on 3.
3. Planning to put the lunch/7:00 AM work plan into action this week.
4. Took a hiatus. Three days of:
19. Do what you love. I walked and enjoyed sunshine. I cooked!
55. Learn to do nothing. Haha. I didn't have to learn this. But I put it into practice. I used the freed up time to do nothing. And I loved it!
44. Try living without a car. Alright. I don't have one anyway and this is cheating, but hey this is the 72 day plan. I need all the mileage I can get (irony totally intended).
~End of day Seven~
The Simple Pliny Project
@(e:imk2): To be honest, I am not sure. I can get under people's skins as you know pretty well from your own personal experience with me. ;)
@(e:metalpeter): woohoo! That's the spirit!
I agree, it's a fine line (that I find hard to discern sometimes). (Interesting example, BTW.) But the point is I don't want to look for that line anymore. It's draining for me to be in that role. So I am backing out. Its going to be a conscious effort to simplify my priorities. If that means I am becoming more self-centered, then I accept that penalty. Its better than repenting what I say for hours on end and feeling remorseful to the point that it affects my sleep... or what little I have of it. It does mean I am changing who I am but that is very much the point of this 72-day exercise: To birth again as a simpler (and perhaps a more primitive) but happier person who can sleep without waking up in a sweat for ridiculously simple reasons!
@(e:joshua): Aha! I am provoked and thus, I act. I am provoked by unwise NSAID use. But I don't want to be provoked anymore. So I am intentionally going to go blind. And yes, this is because my actions are increasingly becoming creepy and complicated, even to myself.
@(e:libertad): That's an observation that lead me to this experiment. I think I am on a self-demolishing path if I continue to be who I am. I was uncomfortable about it all the time. And its not as if I was not told about it. So I do understand how people might react if confronted with something they thought was fine to do but might not necessarily be. Being nagged about it does not help. I don't want to be the nag. And I also don't want to be one who is resistant to change no matter how hard it might be. I want to change for the good. I want to be simpler.
I think that if someone was doing something you believed was harmful and you thought that maybe that they weren't aware that it was causing them harm it would be nice to say something. You obviously want to have some control in doing so. People are very reluctant to change and may feel very uncomfortable when told that the way they do things isn't good for them or not the best way. I am one of those people and I think to some extent we all are.
I don't judge people unprovoked really - there is something neurotic and a little weird about it. It wreaks of a lack of self-confidence. Its not that you are judging them - its really more akin to judging yourself using them as a benchmark. People that are overly judgmental are creepy, really.
"HEY TINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think there is a difference between judging someone and being judgemental. Judgemental to me means that you look down on someone or think they are less then you because they are different. I think it is good that you judge people and let them know about it. It doesn't mean you are right and they are wrong. I'm not saying to stick your nose into there Business but you can tell them when you don't agree with what they are doing. That assumes you say it in a good way. I think that is what a real friend does. For example if I went out to the bar and get drunk and and go home every night I might get some bar friends who would think it was cool or would laugh when some girl takes me home and she is some chick they gang banged on the pool table or I'm the only one in the bar she hasn't blown in the bathroom and I think she is isn't that way. Well a real friend would go dude if you want to fuck her I don't blame you she is hot and is great in bed but me and the the four guys I came here with have all had sex with her so you might want to think twice. Or a real friend would say "Pete I like that you want to go out but dude I get up at 6am and so do you so I can't go out and neither should you". I know it is a fine line to decide when you should but in and some people think that you telling them things stright is not being a real friend that you should support them even when they do something wrong so it is kinda tricky.
and how do these friends react when you do all of this?
I meant I *DO NOT* want to think about their NSAID habits...
Hehe, the truth always outs, eh?
I know! Judging people is so much fun, but my judging doesn't stop there. I go ahead and tell them what I think is "wrong" with them. Its as if I cannot stop, and I cannot keep my mouth shut. I simply *have* to tell them what I think! And then I feel sorry and apologize. So I figured it might be easy to just not think judgmental thoughts in the first place. Let me give you an example. Two friends of mine eat NSAIDs all the time, ON EMPTY STOMACHS!! They could easily go to the dentist and solve the root of the problem, or they could drink milk/eat cheese to get calcium for cramps, or just eat something before they pop the evil little gastric lining stripping pill. But they don't. I can't stand idly by. I judge them on their inadequacy to act on what is widely known - that a) NSAIDS are harmful to the GI b) they have alternatives. Then I proceed to tell them just that. I don't do it in an offhand way either. Last time, I hand-wrote a creepy note to one of them to stop them from eating NSAIDs. More recently, I made a huge fuss about taking Calcium instead of NSAIDs for cramps and send them several articles + citations. This is borderline intrusive behaviour. And I know I am capable of it. So I want to think about their NSAID habits (and in fact any deleterious habit) any more. Because the fact is, I am prejudiced against NSAIDs. My experience tells me that their ends DO NOT justify their means in the long run. But WHY should I work myself into a agony over this? So I need to stop thinking or even judging about actions that TO ME seem harmful but in essence, might not really be. I also need to learn to be silent. But that is going to be more difficult. Because loud and garrulous are two adjectives that most precisely describe me.
I think it is fun to judge people. I mean you can still let them be however they want, but why censor your inner judgmentalness when its such a fun part of life and helps you compartmentalize people into categories. I would never want to give that up. (e:mike) makes it into an artform.