Here you go, the last in my unintentional series of the immediacy of death. Thanks for the notes of encouragement. It means a lot as I have to make my debut as one of the eulogizers on Thursday. A white, almost pink, dude from the suburbs trying to wax eloquent on the steps of one of the city’s eldest black churches. I got a feeling that was one of Pop’s final shots at messing with me a little. I like to think the image has him chuckling wherever he may be.
Anyhoo, if it seems like I’ve harped a little too much on mortality laden for you casual journal readers well, bugger off, it’s my journal. I started to think about what to say whilst we were doing what you do in the waking hours of such events. While my ex and her brother tended to the funeral director, I tried to make myself useful by answering the door, mixing drinks and whatnot. It felt a little strange to be a block away at the height of events Saturday night, but I’m not sure what being right there would have accomplished. Sitting with the kids seemed like the next best thing so their mom could say goodbye and have some time to grieve without worrying about the rest of us. The day after, you sit, you eat, you cry, you laugh, repeat.
I had to laugh a little as my ex’s current girlfriend and her former were both there, setting up higher comedy or drama. My daughter sidled up me at one point and said “You think they’re going to go at it?†Such are the vicissitudes of lesbian turf battles. Thankfully, said current one has some sense.
Given that a large family and a large populace sometimes rarely see one another, you can never be too certain as to who everybody is. I have the perfectly sincere “Hey!!†down pretty good. Pretty sure I was hugged by three people yesterday who I have absolutely no idea who the hell they were. I did reach for my wallet to be on the safe side.
You never know what talents can get called upon. After getting the kids and their Mom back home, I went back to my place to do photoshop work for an obituary portrait. Never been in that position before. I had to walk through some watermarks to make a passable picture, and I think it worked out fairly well, given the original document.
So, this is what I’m thinking for behind the pulpit
“I can’t say if today is a day of remembrance, commemoration, sadness or celebration. Pop would want it to be whatever you need it to be. He got much of his strength through moments in this very building, but he never wallowed in it. I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know about him. What I do know is that he wanted the best that life had to offer for everybody in the room. If there was a chance to reach higher, it is a chance that he deemed worth taking. It may even feel a little ridiculous to start with, but the long term payoff would always merited us trying. He never stopped looking for the opportunities for all of us. We may have lost a booster, a cheerleader, a champion, but savor the knowledge that we had him on our side. He wants us all to shine, daring us to be great. I think he’d spot us today, but put tomorrow on notice because we’re coming.â€
Alright, so I ain't Father Flannigan, but it's genuine and to the point.
Mrmike's Journal
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02/11/2008 13:23 #43280
Turning the pageCategory: health
02/09/2008 22:58 #43263
The EndCategory: health
He passed away about 20 minutes ago
ladycroft - 02/11/08 04:55
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal". ~Ireland
((hugs))
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal". ~Ireland
((hugs))
libertad - 02/10/08 19:27
My deepest condolences to you and all your family. From everything you have said about him this must be very hard. Again, I am really sorry for your loss.
My deepest condolences to you and all your family. From everything you have said about him this must be very hard. Again, I am really sorry for your loss.
metalpeter - 02/10/08 14:12
Hey mike sorry to hear that. What I'm going to say is going to sound kinda stupid. I hope that he atleast made it long enough so that everyone who needed to could say there goodbyes.
Hey mike sorry to hear that. What I'm going to say is going to sound kinda stupid. I hope that he atleast made it long enough so that everyone who needed to could say there goodbyes.
jim - 02/10/08 14:11
Sorry, Mike
Sorry, Mike
james - 02/10/08 13:40
My sympathies. I hope everyone copes well.
My sympathies. I hope everyone copes well.
fing - 02/10/08 11:50
Having been there my thoughts are with you during this hard time.
Having been there my thoughts are with you during this hard time.
imk2 - 02/10/08 11:28
oh no.
oh no.
jbeatty - 02/10/08 02:30
I'm really sorry
I'm really sorry
leetee - 02/09/08 23:22
I am so very sorry to hear... my deepest sympathies to everyone that loved him.
I am so very sorry to hear... my deepest sympathies to everyone that loved him.
paul - 02/09/08 23:17
Sorry to hear that.
Sorry to hear that.
02/08/2008 15:23 #43246
Party's overCategory: health
Thanks for the good wishes all, but I wish I was off to a better start. Roswell is out of options for Dad-in-law. It's pretty much killed my celebratory urges as his only meaningful phone call is going to Hospice. When you can't get sturdy enough to even think about chemo, you know you got troubles. My ex says the drill is to keep him comfy
The Zoo folk whooped me up with lunch and cake, but the cake was tough to grin through as I got this little medical bon mot to deal with.
So, I effectively stopping giving a shit about birthday proceedings as a result. Doesn't seem to matter when you have that likely possibility floating on the horizon. I started the day thinking my biggest issue is that thanks to debt, car insurance, repairs and rent, my paycheck was done on arrival.
Funny how a prognosis can color your whole day. I'm working but I really don't feel like it. Supposed to celebrate with the kids and my folks, but my heart just isn't in it anymore.
The Zoo folk whooped me up with lunch and cake, but the cake was tough to grin through as I got this little medical bon mot to deal with.
So, I effectively stopping giving a shit about birthday proceedings as a result. Doesn't seem to matter when you have that likely possibility floating on the horizon. I started the day thinking my biggest issue is that thanks to debt, car insurance, repairs and rent, my paycheck was done on arrival.
Funny how a prognosis can color your whole day. I'm working but I really don't feel like it. Supposed to celebrate with the kids and my folks, but my heart just isn't in it anymore.
imk2 - 02/09/08 11:19
i know exactly what you're going through.
i know exactly what you're going through.
james - 02/08/08 20:50
Hang in there Mike.
Hang in there Mike.
soma - 02/08/08 19:14
Happy B day anyway
sorry to hear bout the situation
in spite of all i do hope a wave of positive energy flows your waya dn over you soon
and that those in your camp do not suffer much in spite of the not so good looking situation
namaste friend
Curt-Soma
Happy B day anyway
sorry to hear bout the situation
in spite of all i do hope a wave of positive energy flows your waya dn over you soon
and that those in your camp do not suffer much in spite of the not so good looking situation
namaste friend
Curt-Soma
metalpeter - 02/08/08 18:30
That sucks. The only advise is that if your heart isn't in it just let the people know and deal with what you have to deal with for a couple days. Then do something about your birthday as a way to forget about the bad stuff for just one day. Sometimes though the celebration is also for the people who do it with you so you should do something at sometime.
That sucks. The only advise is that if your heart isn't in it just let the people know and deal with what you have to deal with for a couple days. Then do something about your birthday as a way to forget about the bad stuff for just one day. Sometimes though the celebration is also for the people who do it with you so you should do something at sometime.
libertad - 02/08/08 18:21
Sorry Mike.
Sorry Mike.
drew - 02/08/08 15:54
bummer.
bummer.
02/01/2008 10:30 #43127
An Ode to Wednesday's weatherCategory: verse
I found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you. It was to me, and it's very well written.
"WINTER"
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre...
"F U C K , It's Cold !!!!"
The End
"WINTER"
a poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre...
"F U C K , It's Cold !!!!"
The End
fellyconnelly - 02/01/08 10:46
HA!
HA!
01/29/2008 09:03 #43076
"Do you know who I am?" "Jeff Vader?"Category: mirth
Eddie Izzard just rocks. This is too fucking funny
fellyconnelly - 02/01/08 10:51
eddie izzard is the greatest guy that ever did wear stilettos!
eddie izzard is the greatest guy that ever did wear stilettos!
james - 01/29/08 18:11
I love Eddie Izzard!
I love Eddie Izzard!
metalpeter - 01/29/08 18:04
Not to bash the guy but 2 problems or maybe it is just really one. The voices blow. I'm not saying he has to sound like Vader but he at least Needs to be deep voiced or something. The other problem is that vader and the Cafe' guy sound the same when they shouldn't. I won't even mention the fact that the Cantina (how ever you spell it) was another place in a star wars but the premise is great.
Not to bash the guy but 2 problems or maybe it is just really one. The voices blow. I'm not saying he has to sound like Vader but he at least Needs to be deep voiced or something. The other problem is that vader and the Cafe' guy sound the same when they shouldn't. I won't even mention the fact that the Cantina (how ever you spell it) was another place in a star wars but the premise is great.
museumchick - 01/29/08 14:39
haha.
Hey, I hope you are doing okay. I know you had a rough couple of weeks. Take care, okay?
haha.
Hey, I hope you are doing okay. I know you had a rough couple of weeks. Take care, okay?
I know nothing about a eulogy, but that one sounds good, I can't imagine having to write one, I really can't.
You can't mess up an eulogy (well, you can if you TRY, but you're not doing that). Good work--you'll make it.
It is good to see your sense of humor is still intact.
Hey Mike, I've been away and sort of missed this. I'm of course very sorry to hear this stuff. Hang in there, my friend.