I know I said I wasn't going to write but I had to warn you all out there. If you are already feeling sad or depressed, DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, go to a casino alone at 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night. I mean prolly no time is real great to go. Casinos are sad. Everyone seems sad and solitary. I don' tknow what made me go , I have just been thinking of going there a lot lately. I have only been like once or twice in my life but like the last week or so I have been wanting to go and so I went alone tonight. I wanted to go alone. But it is overwhelmingly sad and soon you end up much poorer and tearing up at the Babushka penny slots while Bev (aren't all the crazy old chain smoking ladies at a casino called Bev?) tries to make it seem like its normal. The people in Happy Birhtday crowns are possibly the saddest because they are sitting alone and you wonder if their friends are just at differnt slots in different parts of the casino (woohoo what a birthdya , alone at a slot machine) or if they are celebrating alone. EIther way the casino did not boost my mood but only depressed it. So beware, don't go to casinos alone!

You prolly haven't noticed but I'm taking a brief hiatus from (e:strip). I still comment here and there but I think I am gonna take a break from writing my own journals. I just don't feel like posting much lately. Don't have much to say or don't want to talk about myself as much I guess. We'll see how long my break lasts. I don' tknow, maybe I will write about non-my-life items. I'm not sure. We'll see.

One question though does anyuone know where one can find jeans that fit a person built like me in the way I like in the wash/color I like. I like bootcut, I like not super faded and i DO NOT LIKE those lines from the fading that go sideways. I also don't like pre-ripped jeans. I want like darkerish jeans. I dno't know , I have tried on about 7,000 pairs from here to Toronto but cnanot find any I like. Maybe I should switch to year long shorts.

Did you know you can cry for so hard for so long that it looks like you got punched in the face, like it turns black and blue and red like the blood vessels popped around it.

So yeah its true. I am smoking at least a pack of candy cigarettes every day and I am not ashamed of it. It used to be something I just did when alone or with my friends in my car but the other day I had one on the way to my car after class, and I have them all the time now. I really love them! And i love to smoke them, I just don't eat them willy nilly like eveyrone else. I like to enjoy it for a while. I really do! I don't know, I tink everyone should try it. It is very good and satisfying. Something about pretending to smoke a cigarette and also getting a sugary treat. IT IS GLORIOUS!! I also think this might be a fad that is gonna take off soon, so I just wanted it marked here, on the internet forever, that I've been doing it for years, before it was cool, haha!

Today was prolly literally the worst day of work in my 7.5 years at Eckerd! It was horrible. There was a major situation involving supposed lost drugs while at the same time we were super busy and everything came across as making us look horrible even though we weren't horrible! I can't say much about it because I am not sure what is going to come of it all as a lady threatened to call the news, even though I feel like she was prolly in the wrong but who knows! Everything was so out of control, people screaming, people crying, dumb people, annoying people, lots of problems. Tomorow I am demanding a raise I think, well prolly Thursday when my boss works. I don't get piad nearly enough to deal with this crapola.