Yesterday I awoke with the desire to run through the woods

nothing surprising there, I suppose. I have lost track of how often I have mentioned (and completed) that wish. Yet I have been far off course these last few months, so feeling it yesterday was decidedly a delicate mix of both novel and familiar.

I began with continuing to work on domestic tasks- purging, organizing, cleansing. I am making a mess, disrupting my current 'system', but in a short period of time, it will all come back together. I may very well be the only person who notices- as everything is normally clean and has a relaxing ambiance. But I am getting into the details- it is a bit of a purge on a few levels.

Eventually I made my way to (e:ladycroft) where our outdoor adventure led us to Bird Pier Island. I still wanted very much to breathe in the woods, but time needed to be factored in. I suggested finding the pier as I had yet to go out on it, although I drive by it regularly. We set out not knowing quite where we were going. Thats ok, it is all part of the experience. Well, it was closing in on dusk by the time we parked. perfect.

The breeze was chilly and rain drops began to fall. As always the weather is not a deterent. I was quite pleased with the weather- it felt perfect to me. The darkness came slowly as we made our way to the pier; talking, thinking, laughing sharing ideas. Occasionally we stopped to look at the water- calm along the canal side, rough rushing waves along the river, ourselves making our way inbetween.

I relished the sound of the water crashing upon the boulders.

I ran my fingers lightly over the cool metal cable lining the pier- guiding me as my focus was rarely straight ahead.

Geese, ducks and seagulls delighted me.. "GEESIES!!" "DUCKIES!!", I exclaimed.

In the distance, water crashed over the break wall.

The sky held multiple layers of grey and blue clouds, with deep pink peeking through. The greatest darkness was further into the distance- where the vastness of lake erie held me mesmorized. The combination of breeze, rushing water and birds engolfed me in a sense of the surreal. Breathing in, the air maintained a surprising freshness. Inhaling deeply, it smelt like a summer night in July. LC concurred.

Reaching the furthest point we could go, I was a bit disappointed that it was time to turn back around. We stood and talked a bit longer contemplating the purpose of a structure in the distance that looked like a pirate ship, a magic one at that. Discussion of lake surfing, rafting and stealth missions ensued. The return walk was just as visually pleasing but in a less dramatic and surreal way.

Darkness now apparent, the evening lights of Buffalo and Canada reflected off the water, encouraging color selection for a painting palette. "so many colors in the water right now" with the ducks swimming by, making endless ripples. The structures of downtown were seen from a refreshing persective- a future trek will include my camera.

(e:mrmike,224) we too considered the fate of Fred and Christina :) and that abandoned black sweater proved to be a vital element in hiding LC's secret treasure. I am pleased to have finally located the pier (thanks, (e:pyrcedgrrl) ) and to have shared this experience with (e:ldaycroft) - who is equally up for a spontaneous outing. The remainder of the evening included making a yummy dinner, playing Simons Quest and munching on apples for dessert.

Today, I spent time outside getting my hands dirty.

damn, that felt good.

at the risk of sounding.. veiled..


It felt good to be somewhere I didn't belong- all the learning and unlearning that can be gained from such experiences.. but it feels so much better to take the necessary steps toward getting to where I do belong.

when you are on a path that is clearly not good for you (mentally, spiritually, physically,socially) and you know what lies ahead are things much greater, much more in alignment with who you are and are becoming, then the whole universe conspires for you- to help return you to who you are and guide you to where you need to be.

That I am grateful for..

and I am grateful for the opportunities, challenges and perceived 'roadblocks' and self questioning that has consumed the last quarter of 2006.

I am grateful for my family and friends (interchangeable labels) that have been available to support, to question, to listen and to just be there..

and I am grateful for the strength to choose freedom, to choose peace, to choose my well being in light of the grand scheme of things

and I am grateful for the energy and excitement and authentic sense of calm that accompanies me,

on this new life adventure.

And you know how much I love adventure ;)

mmm the sunshine was especially splendid today. I was still at work while the sun set, but I could see streaks of purple and orange trailing beyond the windows of the building, above the tree branches, reaching beyond what my eye could see. I would have done anything to be able to stand at my waters shore and watch the gorgeous display unfold.

Instead, I stood at the reception desk, looking out the front doors and imaging the rest of what I could not see, but what I knew was there.

If I take a few steps back into last night, I was equally in awe of the moon. Driving home from work, the bright light reflected off of the water as I drove north across the Grand Island bridge. Moonlight on water, I am not sure if I have ever seen it look so intense, beautiful and intriguing. The image is burned into my mind- only a picture could do better- and only if I was taking that picture.

I was able to extend the experience after I parked my car. Gazing upwards, the clear starry sky provided a backdrop for the full moon. Amazing. I breathed in the cool air- feeling neither warm nor cold- just peaceful and delighted.

Yes, I share this sentiment often- and as always, I never tire of the things I see, smell and experience with nature.

Today is a lovely day!

so much intense energy in the air, that I must go and explore it.

I feel like a door has opened upon a universe that I knew existed, but had been locked and I was holding the wrong key.


I dreampt last night of a building, I was searching for the 4th floor.

In past dreams, I would end up on the 3rd floor, where the derrannged and disgusting elements of my life (now and past) existed. Often the thrid floor existed at the first house I rented (with first serious boyfriend) so many years ago. I dream about this house on occasion. Other times this "third floor" makes it way into unknown abodes.

In my need to get up the stairs of this extraordinarily enormous mansion, I found myself easily bypassing the third floor (despite some concern for someone finding me) and made it directly to the fourth.

The fourth led me to land in a room that felt like scaffolding, yet had windows. The view from the window was the most amazing and intense sight I had ever seen. It had the view as though from the Empire State building at night, yet with more detail and clarity.

The floor beneath my feet swayed, the view infront of me kept me focused and feeling safe. I was not concerned about the rocking floor- I was confident of being sure-footed.

elements of the job, co workers, past schooling, current people and experience infused itself into this dreamscape.

the overall feeling was very positive.


I definitely woke up on the right side of the bed.


Now its time to get outside and explore
I am just so excited today!!

glad to have (e:ladycroft) to join me today!

hmm, trying to find a new detox potion. WHat I have done in the past doesn't appeal to me. ANd I am curious to see if there are any decent detox mixture. By decent, I mean, tastes ok, will sustain me through the day and can be used in addition to some food, and doesn't last a long time. A week or so usually does it for me. i wouldnt mind a graduated plan, if I can find one. I used to fast for a better part of a week and then introduce only certain foods, but I am not sure if I can do it all day anymore and for so long. I was going alright until I returned home from work. Then I felt hungry.

I really want to kick start returning back to me- the me of a month ago--

anyone been through a good body detox- to get rid of all the holiday crap and feel better in general? suggestions?