• Going to start an art project tonight- intensly personal- a living journal. Not sure how I am starting or where it is going, but it is mine mine mine. I believe it will take on a more primal element- more authentic with it being hands on, heart on.

• JOe is trying his hardest to get between me and the computer screen. He desperetly wants a rub down. And by Joe, I mean my cat and not (e:pyrcedgrrl) 's father. I've have quickly learned to make that distiction when writing ;)

• Went for a nice long walk through Y-Town and into Fort Niagara yesterday. It was cold, windy and I never fully felt warmed up on my 5 mile trek, but it was none the less refreshing. Watching the waves, listening to the wind and breathing in the icey air helped me feel centered. I felt like the world was mine. I returned well after the sun went down.

• My laptop will be back in my posession soon. It was minor stuff and so I may resume my other business projects, which wany aspects were on hiatus since the lappy went down. Good to be able to go forward again with that. YAY! I intend to immediately back everything up.. this situation freaked me out a bit.

• Had a slew of errends to do today- most were in Lewiston. I just parked my car and walked to all of them. It is blissful to not have to rush.

• feeling good, feeling energized- feeling confident overall. Have had some moments, but they were quickly rationalized and redirected.

time to get moving..

be well,
Carey

I've always wanted a 'secret garden'- now I want it in a greenhouse. How wonderful it would be to breathe and relax and meditate surounded by the warmth, smell and energy of plants (and dirt!)- any time of year.
There must be a water element as well..

so the visual textures of the Botanical Gardens- not sure how these will turn out- will bring my nifty new-ish camera next time (software is stuck in comp)

'Simplicity is the outward sign and symbol of depth of thought.'
I am still contemplating that one.

Anyone ever read, The Importance of Living" written by Lin Yutang? I have an amber paged- musty smelling copy circa 1937. I picked it up awhile ago and had then set it down, only to return to it several months later. The overall message is a reminder to savor life's simple pleasures.

I love the smell of old books. The pages and binding are well intact- and does not appear to be fragile. I will begin to read a few chapters. I enjoy reading to understand others thoughts. In this case a book written in the 30's by a Chinese writer. There are both cultural and generation differences- yet how much is the same? There are common themes across time and places that connect us more than separate us.

I prefer connection.

"Only those who take leisurely what the people of the world are busy about can be busy about what the people of the world take leisurely"
-Chang Ch'ao

enjoy the sunshine..

and as my Moroccan friend always tells me, "don't forget your smile".

at the risk of sounding.. veiled..


It felt good to be somewhere I didn't belong- all the learning and unlearning that can be gained from such experiences.. but it feels so much better to take the necessary steps toward getting to where I do belong.

when you are on a path that is clearly not good for you (mentally, spiritually, physically,socially) and you know what lies ahead are things much greater, much more in alignment with who you are and are becoming, then the whole universe conspires for you- to help return you to who you are and guide you to where you need to be.

That I am grateful for..

and I am grateful for the opportunities, challenges and perceived 'roadblocks' and self questioning that has consumed the last quarter of 2006.

I am grateful for my family and friends (interchangeable labels) that have been available to support, to question, to listen and to just be there..

and I am grateful for the strength to choose freedom, to choose peace, to choose my well being in light of the grand scheme of things

and I am grateful for the energy and excitement and authentic sense of calm that accompanies me,

on this new life adventure.

And you know how much I love adventure ;)

Yesterday I awoke with the desire to run through the woods

nothing surprising there, I suppose. I have lost track of how often I have mentioned (and completed) that wish. Yet I have been far off course these last few months, so feeling it yesterday was decidedly a delicate mix of both novel and familiar.

I began with continuing to work on domestic tasks- purging, organizing, cleansing. I am making a mess, disrupting my current 'system', but in a short period of time, it will all come back together. I may very well be the only person who notices- as everything is normally clean and has a relaxing ambiance. But I am getting into the details- it is a bit of a purge on a few levels.

Eventually I made my way to (e:ladycroft) where our outdoor adventure led us to Bird Pier Island. I still wanted very much to breathe in the woods, but time needed to be factored in. I suggested finding the pier as I had yet to go out on it, although I drive by it regularly. We set out not knowing quite where we were going. Thats ok, it is all part of the experience. Well, it was closing in on dusk by the time we parked. perfect.

The breeze was chilly and rain drops began to fall. As always the weather is not a deterent. I was quite pleased with the weather- it felt perfect to me. The darkness came slowly as we made our way to the pier; talking, thinking, laughing sharing ideas. Occasionally we stopped to look at the water- calm along the canal side, rough rushing waves along the river, ourselves making our way inbetween.

I relished the sound of the water crashing upon the boulders.

I ran my fingers lightly over the cool metal cable lining the pier- guiding me as my focus was rarely straight ahead.

Geese, ducks and seagulls delighted me.. "GEESIES!!" "DUCKIES!!", I exclaimed.

In the distance, water crashed over the break wall.

The sky held multiple layers of grey and blue clouds, with deep pink peeking through. The greatest darkness was further into the distance- where the vastness of lake erie held me mesmorized. The combination of breeze, rushing water and birds engolfed me in a sense of the surreal. Breathing in, the air maintained a surprising freshness. Inhaling deeply, it smelt like a summer night in July. LC concurred.

Reaching the furthest point we could go, I was a bit disappointed that it was time to turn back around. We stood and talked a bit longer contemplating the purpose of a structure in the distance that looked like a pirate ship, a magic one at that. Discussion of lake surfing, rafting and stealth missions ensued. The return walk was just as visually pleasing but in a less dramatic and surreal way.

Darkness now apparent, the evening lights of Buffalo and Canada reflected off the water, encouraging color selection for a painting palette. "so many colors in the water right now" with the ducks swimming by, making endless ripples. The structures of downtown were seen from a refreshing persective- a future trek will include my camera.

(e:mrmike,224) we too considered the fate of Fred and Christina :) and that abandoned black sweater proved to be a vital element in hiding LC's secret treasure. I am pleased to have finally located the pier (thanks, (e:pyrcedgrrl) ) and to have shared this experience with (e:ldaycroft) - who is equally up for a spontaneous outing. The remainder of the evening included making a yummy dinner, playing Simons Quest and munching on apples for dessert.

Today, I spent time outside getting my hands dirty.

damn, that felt good.