Two things I firmly believe. One is, no one person can hold all the answers. We may strive to find the answers through science, religion, intuition, drugs, listening to records backwards, or any combination of the above (including science AND religion). But there are always going to be unsolved mysteries, and I personally like that. You might think immaculate conception is inconceivable (pardon the pun) - and I completely agree. But hell, I think the carnal variety is pretty freaking miraculous too. Oh sure, I understand the whole egg and sperm thing - and I see the results of that experiment walking by me every day. Then again, I still find radio waves and satellite TV amazing and wondrous things, so maybe that's just me.

Suffice to say, I think science goes a staggering way toward illuminating the mysteries around us. I love learning about stuff, even if I don't completely understand it. I think I fall into the "glass half empty" view of science though. Seems to me the more we learn, the more apparent it is how much we don't know. And I actually like that too. I'm more afraid of answers that presume to definitively close a topic than of answers that beg more questions. Again, that's just me.

Which brings me to the second thing I firmly believe. Everyone should be able to express their views/beliefs in a way that does not impose or force them on others. I think estrip is an ideal forum for that. I love reading everyone's journal, even when I fundamentally disagree with some or all of what they're saying. If I had "your" upbringing, education, lucky breaks, tragic losses, supporters, dependents, betrayals, triumphs, regrets - hell, even hormones - I'd have a different point of view than I do now. And my point of view will undoubtedly change over time. Your post may or may not contribute to that, even if I don't think it will right now.

Ok, how many of you have already picked your "side" and started formulating your response to my post? Well, that means you've STOPPED LISTENING and I'M NOT DONE YET!!! Yeah, it's human nature, and I do it too. But I at least try to hear the other point of view. If I have a different point of view, I'm free to voice it and I hope you will too. We may agree or disagree. But if we get hung up on "I'm right and you're wrong" or "the group you affiliate yourself with is wrong for these specific reasons, therefore you're wrong" - that I object to.

Here's my plea:

To the scientists - before you respond to a post, test for these criteria. Does your response hold one person accountable for the specific failings of a larger group, and/or make a blanket judgment on a group based on insufficient/contextural data? If so, reformulate. Don't worry - you'll still piss people off.

To the religionists - before you respond to a post that targets any specific group remember this. Sometimes openly being a member of a group makes you an easy target. I personally don't think that means you're automatically in agreement with or accountable for every action of that group. In other words, don't let someone else make you throw out the baby with the bath water. If anyone is a member of a group that comprehensively embodies exactly what they're about, then either they really are a fanatic/extremist, or they're a member of a group of one. So pick the points you disagree on and expound all you want. If a pissing match ensues, I guess all I can say is, turn the other cheek. And I think you know which cheek I mean.

As for the clairvoyants, druggies and reverse lyricists - contact me directly and I'll see what I can come up with for you. ;-)

I've been reluctant to call anyone on this in the past because I hate to get in the middle of a pissing match. Come to think of it, I could use a really long shower right about now. I have a lot more to say, but I already know it will be taken out of context and used against me. So why bother.

In my dream my mother and grandmother are still alive. We were all traveling together and something suddenly happened that killed my Dad. We had to travel back home and it was a long and difficult journey. When we were close to home my grandmother said when we get back we should take my mother out to a nice place for dinner - some place where she could wear her white suit. The night we got back my sister had to go for a fitting for a wedding she was in, so I knew she couldn't have dinner with us. For some reason I thought my grandmother couldn't eat until 7PM, and with my sister not being able to eat with us, I decided the best thing would be for a family friend to take my Mom for dinner at a nice place at her regular dinner time. When I picked Grandma up and drove to our restaurant for dinner and my mother wasn't there, it suddenly dawned on me I should be with my mother that night no matter what. My grandmother thought we were meeting my mother there and she kept saying "where's Sonja? We have to be with Sonja now." Which obviously is so true.

I hate dreams like that.

I'm sure there are many personal inadequacies illustrated in that dream, but the one that stands out most for me is my tendency to overthink/overorchestrate things to the point where I miss the heart of the mattter. I don't think I was ever so heartless in real life as I was in my dream. But no doubt if my life were ever audited, the shortcomings would speak for themselveds.

More to come, but my friend Steve just called...

While I was waiting for my iMac to arrive I decided I'd better paint the freakin' living room.


It's bright!


So the living room is a wake-up color and the bedroom is a more soothing green.


I don't think I posted an exterior shot here before.


Buchanan Street in Japantown.

p.s. - maybe now I should start to think about putting in furniture.

Since my mind generally has the upper hand 24/7, and Steve Jobs now has my soul covered, I figured I better invest some time in the body department. So I'm back to doing yoga and pilates, etc.

(e:Terry) - make that doctor's appointment [inlink]terry,454[/inlink] (if you haven't already) and get a referral to a specialist (or a second opinion) if your primary care physician doesn't do it justice. You should NOT be in pain.

One other word of advice in addition to that (and this goes for just about everyone) - try a yoga class. Seriously, it's freakin' unbelievable the difference slight adjustments and a heightened awareness can make.

If you have any sway with the feds, I honestly think any corporation whose employees sit at a computer desk all day should be REQUIRED to offer yoga/pilates to offset the damage. We are on the verge of a computer-generated RSI epidemic. I am not kidding.

ok, off the soapbox.