I am in the mood to eat some peeps. heh...

But the question is.. the marshmallow kind or the (e:strip) kind? ;)


Need to go buy chocolate and jelly beans and see whats goin' on today..




Happy Easter!





:)

I'm with (e:mrdt,32) --Its been too damn long.

I think its the general sentiment as of late..

so do I take a look through my "list"..?? make a call.. send an email..

or do I stay commited to my resolve to only get "invloved" with someone who is in love with me (and visa versa) ;)



The day is still young.. I'll think more about it over a cup of tea, Miles Davis and watching the rain fall..

hehe

"You, me...(edit)"

I received a post-it from "guest"..

Now thats a propostion I am up for.. if I just knew who it was.. ;)


Call me.



As for other excitement in Thee Careys life:

Washed my dishes. oy.. So not my favorite thing to do.

No class Thursday. So I have mentally vegged all week. It is a nice feeling.

The rain smelled delicious today. You know how I love a warm rain shower..

Ive been quiet this week.. suppose its a good thing. Wouldnt mind engaging in some good converstation..

Party at work tomorrow (Thurs). I should bring something in.. The kiddos go on Spring break and we always have a little celebration with them. Have been invited to Happy Hour after work--if I do that, then maybe stay out and find trouble. Why not?

Might go to a friends rugby game this weekend. Hopefully the weather holds up... not that I havent sat in the rain before. Bring out my tarp... wrap myself in it..hot cup of joe and my unibomber hoody. that always works!

heh, someone brought their pet bunny into work yesterday and today. Some of the kiddos loved it. They appropriately played with and pet it. Others were terrified or indifferent. No one tried to bite it.

We work with the kiddos on generalizing skills that they learn into different situations/environments/people and academic material. Got that? ok, forward to..

Music class. The music teacher brought out a small parachute (remember those in school-- everyone would hold onto it, pull it up in the air, sit under it.. Or toss balls into the middle and everyone would shake the material to make "popcorn" and you'd shake it until all the balls went into the hole?)

ok, so in the spirit of Easter (??), the teacher brings out a stuffed bunny and tossed it into the middle of the material. We are supposed to shake it into the hole. "Get the bunny IN the hole" (we work on prepositions as well).

So yeh, I entertained the thought of going back to the classroom and seeing one of the kiddos genralize what they learned from music class and apply it to the real bunny.. Put the bunny in the hole-- I visualize the bunny being bounced around the parachute. So not funny, yet hilarious too. That would be the comic relief element of the job. This wouldnt ever happen..

So get off my ass, PETA

(people eating tasty animals )



Thats about it.

Carey

um, yeh..I suppose I should do my taxes soon, huh? I just realized that the 15th is rapidly approaching.

I do this every year. Last year I got them in with just five minutes to spare. The year before-- within two hours of the deadline.. so why should this year be any different? It was all so much easier back when I went to H&R Mom. haha.

Nice night! After dinner, I ran out the door and headed to Fort Niagara. I sat on a pier along the Niagara River and watched the colors of the sky reflected on the water. Where I sat, I could see where the river empties into Lake Ontario; and this is the point of the gorgeous sunset. The waters were calm, just a slight ripple to be heard and seen. Birds, and other creatures were making their noises. I didn't sit for long, but I enjoyed the time I did spend sitting on my pier.

I had been walking around, going up and down hills and staircases all throughout Fort Niagara. The trek down to the pier was a break to breathe deeply and take in the sounds and sights of nature.

Coming up from the pier, I nearly de pantsed (sp) myself. Ya'll know how hard it is for me to keep my pants on. heh.. not like that, haha.. but as of lately, I am not sure when my undies or pants will just drop off of me. "uh, Carey, why do you have your hands down your pants?"
Not exactly complaining..., but one of these days I could very well set myself up to be mortified! My pants fit (kinda) this morning..

SO yeh, I am running up a staircase and I feel them begin to slip off. As they drag, while I am stepping up, I step on the pant cuff, which further tugs them down-- No one was around-- I was able to just pull them back up and went on with my walk/hike/jog sweat-heavy breathing fest. I love walking up and down all of the hills.. Next time, I wear tighter pants.

Or duct tape them to my ass.

Bed time! I love my sleep..

Later friends!
carey

Ok, so I figured I have paid off any majorly wrong doings on my part, especially from anything revolving around a guy I dated awhile back. Think: the basic idea of Karma. Or, what comes around goes around. Yeh, thats fun.

Believe me, I have paid. And I have learned. I have moved on. I have gravitated towards better things, better choices, better people..

So, gettign back-- It wasnt what I wanted and I told the guy this. He was adament about trying to work things out.. trying to convince me that we should be together, blah blah blah. Ok, maybe a really good supporting argument could sway my decision, however, this was not the case. Especially since he really knew nothing about me. And...

I just wasn't into him.

Simple as that. And as much as he thought he knew and liked about me, he knew very very little. He wasn't part of my life in any significant way and it was never going to be any different. I began to back off once I realized that he was getting deeper than anything I could offer. I was mystified. Instead of fading away, I chose to confront the situation. I chose to lay it all out there. Basically, "No way, not happening, so sorry, too bad- are you sad?" yeh. I thought being honest was good. But being an asshole, well, just wasnt. I don't intend to start off that way.. but I couldn't shake him. So thats when I began to say stuff more crass and ignore his calls etc.

I had been in these situations too many times. That one happened a long long time ago.

Little background: I wasnt an open person. I was a stranger to the emotional side of things. Reserved, skeptical, aloof, greatly independent. Not interested. No one got in.

Then stuff changed.

You have been part of the process- or atleast have been witness to it. It began, atleast with some awareness and effort just over a year ago. Funny, that the desire to change, do thinsg differently occured around the time of this this dating situation. After all that, I decided to just back off from guys. Not at all because I felt there was anything wrong with them--on the contrary, I felt that there was something wrong with me; and I didn't want to hurt anyone, anymore.. I atleast recognized that it wsnt fair and that i wasnt benefiting from any of it either. So I took time off to get a better grasp on who I am, what I want, etc. I chose not to get involved unless I could say for certain that I was interested and was willing to share who I am--on a deeper level. I didn't even want to get involved with any "in the meantime guys/sex" because in a moment of clarity, I thought it a good choice. Forward to meeting someone I could connect with. Funny how unpprepared I was for that--again, on many levels. Had no idea what I was doing. It may have been the undoing. I learned a lot from that, and continue to..

Yeh, so.. I feel like I am talking about a stranger when I am talking about myself from that earlier period.

Anyway, back to the point.. every once in awhile I get a phone call from this guy. I don't answer and he doesn't leave messages. Ever. WTF? Why why why do that?

I have no idea why he bothers..

I also recently realized that I have not seen nor spoken to him in 19 months. 19 MONTHS!! ... and he's still calling?

Why oh why do the phone calls continue? and never ever a message??? I might just pick up next time.. or just call and ask WHY? I was tempted when he called just a few hours ago. However, my mom was over and I didn't want to get into anything in front of her.

He is officially in my stalker category.

He tries to find my friends (and sometimes succeeds *shivers*)
He called hourly at first, then weekly, then monthly- then nothing at all for awhile.. then just these past few months, has begun calling again. Even on St. Valentines Day. I havent answered a call from him in over 19 months. Come on!

Leave a fucking message.

For all I know, he is a lurker on the strip.. *more shivers*

As far as I know, he doesn't know where I live (I told ya I used to be reserved-unavailable, blah blah blah A good thing in this case.. could be wrong, though. Anything is possible.. )

Its funny though, how we are all bitching about people not being interested in us.. yet I am pretty damn confident that someone is.. What we are really bitching about is that the person(s) that we are interested in are not interested in us.. or soemthing like that. Feel me?

Focus on your friends, family,life interests.. cherish those who are in your life. Keep 'em close.

I am beat. I exercised like 900 calories off this evening. My hair was soaking wet.. took a hot shower, attempted a quick post and now its about time for bed. Get my assup early and do it all again.

So yeh, I like to write. Cant ever make it short.. Now I sleep. mmm dream time. Good night, be good..
Love,
carey