My friend Damien builds stuff. He made the following bike from scratch. It was on display recently at HSBC Arena (or whatever that place is called..)

I assume it is back at the shop at this point. His girlfriend, Lynn, sent me the pics and I thought I would post them. They are both good friends of mine, both of whom I went to school with. Damien went to Lewiston-Porter and Lynn went to Wilson. They both reside in Wilson now. I don't get out to see them nearly as much as I used to. They are wonderful people..

Not much of a bike person myself, but I can appreciate just about anything with an engine, especially when I know and am proud of the person who put it all together.

Enjoy :)

[link=www.radioactivecycles.com]www.radioactivecycles.com[/link]




oh yeh, notice that the shift or something or other is a sword. OY, I have lost my capacity to think at this moment.. hehe

Have a good nigth everyone.. my school paper is about done. I can wrap up the rest just before class.

Wish me sweet dreams...

xo carey

multidimensional?

ha, not this post, and tonight, not this writer. Just taking a quick break from the school stuff. Sometimes my brain hurts. So lets get to the "Random Thoughts and Questions" segment of todays (e:strip) post:


1. Who's my baby's daddy?!?!

just kidding.


2. I shared this on the chat earlier, thought I'd share again...

Tonight, well, technically Wednesday, at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00am in the morning, the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.
That will never happen again. Neato.


3. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi. Does this apply to a bowl of Panda Paws ice cream???


4. Why do I continue to have a pit in my stomach? A desire to vomit, scream, cry, laugh maniacally--yet they are transient feelings...come and go. Nothing too serious, yet significant enough that I am having some messed up dreams lately. Real and abstract--scary and comforting--more brain poo, I guess. My head and heart are trying to process something. Plus school--hurray for midterms and multiple papers with less than a week to prepare and write. Wtf. Breathe in. Breathe out. Its all good... However, I need to find an outlet, distraction, means to vent, quick.

5. Anyone have a good lentil recipe? I havent made anything with lentils in the past two weeks. I am sorely lacking on coming up with a different use for them. Not that I ever get sick of them, but I could use some ideas. I also purchased a box of barley.

6. How can it be after ten pm already??

7. I don't have class next Thursday. You have no idea how much I need that. My grad program runs straight through to the end. I am sure to have mentioned this before--no breaks--at all. Thanksgiving there was no class as it is on a Thursday. Christmas we had one class off. Next Thursday it is due to Easter, I am assuming. That's it until I graduate. But I'll take it. Maybe will give me some extra time to figure stuff out w/o assignments burdening my thoughts. Chilling with good friends.. talking, sparring, laughing, crying (me)..I love that. Well, not so much the tears part, as that is new to me.. yet that intrigues me as well. Whatever, I roll with it.

8. It is almost halfway through the week. Where did the weekend go? It was good-- it was also weird and busy and fun--good conversation, drinks, music (no emo shit), school work, cleaning, food--etc etc.

9. Looking forwards to the weekend as always.

10. The Bench Warmers comes out on Friday.


Rob Schneider, Daven Spade, Jon Heder-- looks silly and brainless. That sounds wonderful to me!
Even the new Scary Movie (3 or 4??) looks entertaining.
I havent been to a movie in ages..
nor have I rented one..



I need to get back to my school work..

good night all.
Carey xo

Its never to early (or late) to start thinking about your retirement- i snagged this from the net-- so for your amusement, a super quicky:


INVESTING FOR YOUR RETIREMENT:

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would
now be worth $49.00

With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank
all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling
REFUND, you would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, current investment advice is to drink heavily and
recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan

:)

Have a good one everyone

Carey

I really like this song right now. I tried to upload it as a user sound, but alas it is too damn big. Sad.. I encourage you to listen to it somehow, if you haven't already..


Be Still My Heart (by: Postal Service)

I was running late for work
So I didn't change my shirt
The evening's drinks left a lingering taste in my mouth
And when I left
You were fast asleep
Tangled in the sheets
And on the bus I could have sworn it was all a dream
And it didn't happen to me

And then I felt the scrapes
From the slippery subway grate.
Oh how you laughed
At my complete lack of grace.
But I could not recall
A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes
It didn't hurt at all.

And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.

And I thought, be still my heart
This could be a brand new start, with you.
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here with me in the morning.



Happiness manifests in many forms; if you allow it.

Growing up, the strongest sense of elation and happiness was brought about by milestones and novel life experiences. Birthdays (all of them, but especially those centered around turning of age events), Firsts (riding a bike, winning a fight, drink, kiss, car, sex, etc), and Achievements (out of the diaper and onto the toilet, haha,- yeh, I remember these things- also school projects, graduations, personal hurdles, for some; marriage, babies, divorce, reconciliation- anything you deem an achievement). Other means for that sense of elation are those that center on Newness-- new relationships, new friendships, new job, new car, new toys, new newness.

When we become adults,(ie; you accept responsibility and make choices beyond yourself) our experiences shape our daily outlook and attitude. Milestones become more random and sometimes dreaded. At this point, we must be active in attaining that sense of elation.

Many moments of elation stem from a singular event. You look forward to IT, you work towards IT, IT appears to be happening, IT happens, You are HAPPY because of IT: Temporarily. Then the feelings surrounding IT seem to fade. That is natural progression of how our brains operate. Major events bring upon short lived elation. Blame it on neurotransmitters. This is just what it does when you are dating someone you really dig:


(and neurotransmitters can also depress the ability to feel happy- which is not indicative of a persons choice of lifestyle or attitude- but of their mental make-up- so this would not necessarily apply; in which I offer hugs and support not so much wisdom.. )

So how does one become a happy individual? Although we can't quite achieve that sense of elation (naturally) for an extended period of time, there are ways to increase your sense of happiness. I am confident that you all know what I am talking about, and I am also guessing that there are those of you who this comes more naturally to. Good for you..

So this happy feeling- Are you ready to go there?

Each day you must find things that make you smile, laugh, think, feel good, feel safe--did I mention laugh? To wait for the next big thing- or next newness is striving for a temporary boost. It is great to feel the excitement of something new or feeling a sense of accomplishment when something you have worked for has come to fruition. Sure, it can be the catalyst for greater things to come. However, lets go deeper than that..

At the beginning of your day, ask yourself, How can I make this day better? (what can I say, do, not do), at the end of the day, reflect:"How could I have made this day better? Neither are ones that you would do daily, if at all.. and for some, they already do, even if they are not aware of it; and if you are, that is very powerful stuff.

Don't wait for someone to do or say something specific to make you happy. Believe it or not, you have quite a bit of control in that area.

How so?

Attitude. I don't mean walking around with a cheesy smile on your face and ignoring all that is going on around you.. (although sometimes it is tempting.. ), I mean, your outlook on life, the degree to which you feel you are responsible for the things that go on in it and expecting the best for yourself, knowing you can pull through anything that is thrown at you, letting go of things you cannot control, biting your tongue when all someone needs is an ear, having gratitude, cherishing those people who are in your life that you care about, worrying less about what people/society expects from you and follow through on your own expectations. Letting it out rather than bottling it in, compassion for peoples stupidity (rather than devising ways to get back at them), FIND HUMOR in as much as you can; view life as a comedy. Laugh at yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Be kind to yourself--your negative thoughts will have an overall effect on you.


Your attitude is your responsibility. For those that are not aware of this responsibility, they will find that there are in a perpetual cycle of starting and ending things in pursuit of this elation feeling. People will continually seek the Newness, and when that fades, they gravitate towards the next New Thing. Its ok to seek a new challenge--but it has to be out of personal motivation and perhaps the need to change as opposed to forming a temporary sense of well being.

Think about this: there is happiness in perseverance. There is happiness in the bond and history you share and build with someone. There are the systemic effects of the initial IT that you went for. For example, I was intensely elated upon gaining entrance into Grad School. That feeling has faded.. however, I am happy that I am formally learning and challenging myself. I know that my life is better for it. I am a better person for it. On the relationship side, I imagine that after the initial newness has subsided, that other feelings will replace it, permanently. That person will be included in my world of being able to laugh, smile, think, feel safe, take on the world together, be cherished, and that my attitude will work to make the days as happy as possible.

I find happiness in simple things. Much of it is in the things, experiences and people I love.

I don't wait for the perfect moment to do or say something. Some times are better than others, of course. Sometimes I am chicken to say and do things.. ahh I have plenty to learn :)

I am not constantly running around with a smile on my face, full of bubbling cheerfulness (yikes). I know what the general discussion of happiness and elation is about. --original post, find it here: (e:byllc,3)
I get it; but my thoughts on the subject took me elsewhere, hence this post. One train of thought begot another.

For the record, I do not have life down to a science- I don't know everything. Often I feel that I do not know much at all. Yet I find myself thinking, I wondering, forming thoughts, then I share them. I am aware. I listen. I observe. I learn. I unlearn. I make mistakes. I don't always do things right, but I try to do the right thing.

Random moments off the top of my head..

Elation at finding out about my entrance into grad school.. will be done in August, yet graduation ceremony is Friday May 19th at 1pm

Finally coping with issues, stress, feelings in a positive manner�¢?"not backsliding into self destructive behavior. A little is fine, used as a crutch and not dealing with underlying problem, is not. I had a moment a couple of weeks ago, that I was so damn proud of myself that I felt that tinge of elation--before I burst into tears, haha.. Seriously though, that has kept me going..

Photography: Jumping into icy Lake Ontario for a close up shot of an icicle, that was amusing- of which has not been an isolated incident. I do entirely random stuff.. I don't care. I like it--contributes to my happiness :)

Good music, dancing, letting go.. feeling it and moving to it.

Appreciating little things, moments in the day that tickle me or that I can reflect on.

Seeing, experiencing, being intricately part of the progress of a particular (autistic) child that I work with. I am deeply proud of him on a daily basis. Just today we played catch with a nerfball. This coming from years of zero eye contact, no interaction with the world around him, limited verbal and high frequency of severely intense, aggressive, dangerous behavior. Too see him look at me and laugh along with me while we played catch. Amazing..

Deeply appreciating friendships, knowing who I can talk to.

Great conversations, connections, bonding, spending time with people whose company I thoroughly enjoy.

Writing, singing, nature, closeness, comedy, playing outside (anyone up for some nerf tossing?)

Ahh, kissing. The kind that you can fall in love over.

Embracing my child-like ways (not childish- there is a distinction)- big Happiness factor.



Hmm...so the last time I felt that sense of elation was....




Good night, be safe, smile for me..
XO Carey

I had a moment (or two or three) last night.


First Moment: During my entire graduate program I have been assimilating the information to a world that I know--and trying to figure out more about what I don't know (yet). I am intrigued by the sense of having many of the pieces to the "puzzle"within my "life repertoire". What I am experiencing with this program is that I am now better suited to put those pieces together. Things make sense on a much deeper level, and now I am taking that and expanding on it. I hold no school of thought as an authority on any part of my thinking. I also take what I learn from a subject as determine how it applies within various contexts.

So, I am a big fan of quantum physics. (subatominc particles, nuclear physics, blah blah) http://theory.uwinnipeg.ca/physics/quant/node1.html

well, anything Quantum (quanta)
I particularly resonate with Chaos Theory --Funny that it has slipped my stream of consciousness over the course of the year. Yet it has somehow surfaced within many of my thought patterns. There were a few occasions in class that I wanted to address a topic utilizing Chaos Theory (WIKIPEDIA - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaos_theory)as a form of reference. Then there are other times that I wonder why I would bring certain thoughts back around to this theory, it isn't as though I don't have an extensive knowledge base to pull from (btw, I suck at Jeopardy, I need more than 15 seconds to process the question and form an answer. I am delighted by those who can fire off answers to questions, as I sit there in the dust-- don't ask me, as I won't know the answer until my thought is fully baked!)


Ok, I am now out on that. You are officially privy to my deep seeded nerd tendencies.

I love to wrap my mind around anything Quantum- it can be applied to so much! Chaos Theory is a turn on. As are all things cerebral. That's my happy place. I visit other places, but I always return to the brain. Its where it ALL starts. You know this to be true.. Do I need to say it? Sex, baby..Lets get on with the mentalcourse --creativity, imagination, sensuality- pleasures in life-- start with the mind...
Anyhow, I am now finding that there are Others who relate to chaos theory and find that it applies directly to--choose-- Organizational Leadership, Organizational Psychology, --all has to do with systems thinking, which is rooted in some applications of Quantum physics--and even more so, Chaos Theory. This information can be applied to numerous situations. I found a few people (serendipitously, during some research. I am going to contact them) that incorporate Chaos Theory into their work. Chaos, complexity, confusion---catalysts for change and growth.

If you're not confused, you're not paying attention--Tom Peters

Shivers ran up and down my body..excited to the point of bursting-- nerd elation This is what I think about, this is how I think, this that I have been unable to put my finger on is something that I have had my hand in for a very long time? Why didn't I see it before now? Well, apparently I did... Now I see that it is really out there--I guess I needed the validation of seeing that others think similarly.

I am jotting these thoughts down while in class. Coincidentally I was just able to make a comment about Chaos Theory. What is it and why I like it. I felt cheesy in my exuberance..

I haven't spent time reading my delicious quantum books, chaos books, complexity books and articles in a very long time. Well,not since before starting grad school.

Let me go dust off those books and reacquaint myself. I love to learn and unlearn.



Second Moment: Whipped cream--the kind out of the can is sensually delicious.

I have a deep urge to finger paint with it.
Found some ripe strawberries at my local market. I also spontaneously grabbed a can of whipped cream. Then went home and made a cup of hot chocolate and prepared a bowl of strawberries.

However, some things are better shared.