i love how each snowflake glistens in the light.

so peaceful.

this is what winter is about.

peace.

today i got to hang out with hannah michele, who has officially been here on earth for 16 days. she weighs just 6 pounds and she's so tiny, a little-itty-bitty human.

this evening, for the first time ever, she lifted her head up and held it there for quite a while. she was lying on my belly at the time, and we were in a darkish room together. when she learned that she could lift her head, she practiced again and again. you could tell she was working hard because she had found new strength and she was ready to develop it. she ended up doing it a number of times and i could see her advancing and getting stronger.

blessings!

this was such a special moment to share with my new neice. it was the first time she'd been awake and alert for so long, other than at a time when she was eating.

it is so amazing to see her learn so much. and to learn so much with her.

babies are glorious miracles. thank you, lord.

i had my interview at ub today. even though i am not used to doing this formal type of thing, it went wonderfully.

there were three people there interviewing me, which could be a little daunting, but i was pretty relaxed, especially after answering the first question "why do you want to be a nurse?", i saw that "stern lady" rated my answer 4-5, on a scale of zero to five (five being best). yes, it was weird that she wrote that down right in front of me. i didn't look at her sheet any more because if the numbers went down, it would have been a little stressful.

but i found that i had really good answers for those tougher questions, like "why should we pick you as a candidate for this program?" i said that i have had many different experiences and have lived outside of my comfort zone for extended periods of time, which would enable me to deal with anything that comes my way..., etc, and then i added, "and i'm a really caring person" with a big smile. it was cool to see that when i talked a bit of my experiences, my essay had made an impact on at least one of the interviewers, she obviously had remembered reading about the things i mentioned.

oh, the toughie was, "how is being in this intensive type of program going to change your lifestyle?" gulp. i flat out said that it would change everything about it. i am used to going wherever i want to go and doing whatever type of peace-keeping work i find, and this would severly change everything. but i was honsest, although i had chosen different words from these, and i think they appreciated that.

when i was leaving, i heard "grandmotherly type" exclaim something to the effect of "wow." that felt really good.

one silly (i guess) thing that i did was that i asked them, "why should i choose UB?" they all kind of chucked, so i came up with a quick follow-up: "tell me about the best things in your program" or something to that effect. i gave myself a pat on the back for a quick response to a slightly awkward moment.

i was pleased that i was able to be open with the interviewers and not intimidated by them at all.

i love cleaning.

it brings me joy to see a space grow cleaner as i work. i love coming in to a dirty house, yard, forest or any area, spending time cleaning and loving the space. and then when i leave, everything looks and feels better, cleaner, and energy can flow more easily.

for the first time, i cleaned houses for money for a couple weeks. i have cleaned many spaces for other reasons, but never for money before.

luckily, i got to do the deep clean that i enjoy. i cleaned a huge house, four bathrooms (one of them the size of a large bedroom), immense kitchen covered with grease stains that must have had about 50 cabinets, and wood, wood, wood everywhere that had to be wiped down by hand. i cleaned the master bedroom floor four times. it made a huge difference.

the house looked spectacular, when i was done there, especially compared to what it looked like before.

i made $12/hour. the going rate in that area (wilmington, north carolina) is $15-25/hour.

the odd thing about cleaning someone's house is that they treat you like dirt. i suppose it is a dirty job, but literally, when people see someone cleaning, they think low of that person, like the cleaning person is not on the same level or something. i wonder if it a defense of some sort. i don't really know.

i actually don't really mind how i'm treated in this situation. i have enough confidence in who i am to not let myself get down in the slightest. i am just saying that this is an interesting, and pretty common all thoughout the world.

and there do not seem to be enough thank yous in this job. having your house or yard cleaned makes a huge difference. i found it ironic that the little things that i cleaned--that were expensive items like marbe furniture and glass cabinets for the china--impressed the woman i was working for much more than the humungous cleanses i did on her house, like the floors and the grease-covered stove.

despite the lack of thanks (i guess that really there is not a lack of thanks, because i take time to appreciate how nice things look afterwards), i honestly do like this job, and i found that i was getting job offers left and right to clean for peple. but i have to admit that i enjoy cleaning much more when i do it for love and blessings than when i do it for money.

i haven't had computer access for a couple weeks, and i finally got to be on a computer today. i went to paul's journal, and i heard some conversation about me. that's hysterical! i love the timing on that one.

so, do i take showers now? well, about as often as i used to. i guess actually a little more often because i've been doing manual labor. but i started to wear deodorarant, so i don't smell anymore. my cousin told me that she loved me, so she needed to let me know that i smell bad sometimes and that people notice and then she gave me some deodorant. i had been living outside with a bunch of hippies for the early part of this year, so it didn't really matter, but when i moved to a city, i guess it offended people. i was surprised once i started to wear deodorant that my entire room smelled (when i smelled, i couldn't tell that my room had an odor). it took several days for the smelll to clear.

ah, so life. i'm about to get on a greyhound bus to somewhere, maybe buffalo, maybe asheville, nc. regardless, i'll be headed to buffalo before christmas because my classes start on dec 26.

i have had a great time in wilmington (except for the family struggles) and i've met lots of awesome people. i like it so much that i'd stay here to go to school, but they don't have the program that i'm looking for.