i had a fabulous weekend soaking up some carolina culture.

saturday evening, i attened my second ever pig pick'n. we had a huge bonfire and the moon was full, so there was lots of amazing energy. everybody was having a lot of fun, and it was super to meet people that i only knew from J&J's, the local diner where everyone knows each other, in another situation and to have a fun time with my dad. some top point of the night were:

bobby looking over at my dad and telling us that, even though my dad was by himself, he was smiling. i'm glad my dad enjoys people watching so much. you see, he isn't in the best of health, so i'm really happy that he can still enjoy himself. my dad also enjoyed seeing the wood he had brought over go in to the fire. i think there's really good energy when you burn things you don't need (this was extra lumber from my dad's new house) especially at a communal fire like this.

conversation with jeff, who was extremely intoxicated, Renee, jeff's wife, and me.
Jeff: Ahyoo sluhkinuhlthhhhislliin?
Oda: <looks very confused>
Renee: <translates for jeff> Are you soaking all this shit in?
while i might choose to change the word 'shit' to something more positive, yes, i was taking it all in, taking in all the love. it is great to see everyone enjoying being together, outside at a fire on a chilly night.

i absolutely love fires on the full moon, and there was such amazing energy. at one point i realized my smile was just too immense, so i got away from the crowd for a bit to smile with the trees and the moon. and my friend tom noticed my smile, which also made me happy.

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we got home pretty early from the pig pick'n, so i went out to the gypsy cafe (the only place i had been out to here so far), and had a very lovely time with a group of hippies acting wild and crazy, seeking truth, and loving each other.
bash, who is the boy i like, (geez, i tried to write like in past tense, but it wasn't honest so it didn't end up that way), anyway, bash told me he's attracted to me and kept me smiling with his wonderful questions and search for meaning in his experiences. however, it seems that marcy, his fiancee (oops!) wasn't too happy with bash. but i would never do anything to break up any relationship. i think bash and i have a lot to learn from each other and i do hope we get a chance to explore that without having to have our attraction for each other get in the way of anything. i know it is possible.


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sunday, i went to a bluegrass festival with some other friends. i enjoyed learning so much there. i was in a super social mood, and talked with tons of people: the square dancers who were having so much fun (i think i want to learn it!), the vietnam vet selling knives (my friend said it was the last place he expected to find me, but i love everyone and i like knives), the hippie who travels around with him mom selling glass art, and many people who thought i was bizarre for not wearing shoes. it was sunny and 65 degrees--i don't know why anyone would want to wear shoes on such a gorgeous day! but answering "i'm from buffalo" started up many a friendly conversation. i'm glad the conversations flowed so freely, especially in the face of all the prejudice against hippies here. only positive vibes around today. people are really friendly in the south.

it was a very wonderful weekend, much peace and love.

i gained six pounds today. i don't know how that is physically possible.

hormones are weird.

so, since yesterday was halloween, i decided that i was free to dress up in my favorite gypsy clothes. mind you, these are not clothes i would normally put all together, except maybe at a full moon fire circle that had really good energy.

i even spent $2 at the dollar store on my outfit to get the more "steroetypical" gypsy look, purchasing large hoop earrings and eyeliner.

since i didn't have any evening plans, i got dressed up for the whole day. i figured it would be fun.

however, instead, i discovered just how prejudiced people are in the sticks of north carolina. all day long, people made a point to let me know, both verbally and with unkind looks, how unwelcome i was, at restaurants, gas stations, and especially at the nursury i went to visit (because i figured that being around plants would be better than waiting around for the car inspection watching fox news.)

since i am white, i have never experienced such outrageous prejudice directed at me. damn, it feels horrible.

why would anyone judge another person on how they look? it really saddens me to feel so much prejudice still exists, and i am also sad at how little i have noticed until it was directed at me personally. i feel horrible that i live so unaware of how so many minorities suffer every day from unfounded prejudices. that is so completely, absolutely WRONG and unacceptable.

why don't we just all love each other? it really isn't that hard...


(lyrics below by melanie)

Beautiful people
You live in the same world as I do
But somehow I never noticed
You before today
I'm ashamed to say

Beautiful people
We share the same back door
And it isn't right
We never met before
But then
We may never meet again
If I weren't afraid you'd laugh at me
I would run and take all your hands
And I'd gather everyone together for a day
And when we gather'd
I'll pass buttons out that say
Beautiful people
Then you'd never have to be alone
'Cause there'll always be someone
With the same button on as you
Include him in everything you do.

Beautiful people
You ride the same subway
As I do ev'ry morning
That's got to tell you something
We've got so much in common
I go the same direction that you do
So if you take care of me
Maybe I'll take care of you

Beautiful people
You look like friends of mine
And it's about time
That someone said it here and now

so i went to my first ever pig pickin' today. yes, me a long time vegetarian. it actually wasn't as bad as i thought. i imagined a pig all together roasting over an open fire on that thing that rotates the dead animals around. but the pig was cut in half and cooked in a humongous barbeque-type cooker.

my dad asked me if i could be 'normal' for the pig pickin'. he said if people ask me where i live, i should just say buffalo. i guess he doesn't really like that i say that i'm a traveller. it sound too weird. i do have to give him some credit though, because he said the people at this pig pickin' weren't his friends, but his neighbors and that it's o.k. for me to tell his friends more of who i am. that made me feel much better about the request.

i think i did the normal thing pretty well: i wore jeans and a t-shirt and certainly no one thought that i was a gypsy, so i guess that made my dad happy.

but i found that my 'normal' self didn't have much to say.

what is it about this whole finding a mate thing that makes people behave in ways they wouldn't normally? i guess emotions must be really intense.

i met a guy two nights ago, and i really liked him. it is extremely rare that i meet anyone i'm interested in, so i had such a smile every time i thought about him. everything he said that night was so right on, and it seemed like we had such a strong connection. he totally got who i am and it was obvious that he was very interested in me. and i was certainly intregued by him as well. i kept on thinking of the things he said for the past two days.

well, i saw him again tonight (at a bar, we weren't on a date or anything). despite the fact that i had a super-good night and totally enjoyed myself and meeting lots of new people, i found myself leaving the bar sadly because it didn't seem that me and him had that connection tonight. i guess the one amusing thing is that we literally crashed in to each other three times during the night, and considering that his name is bash, i think that's super-funny.

so why am i thinking that the night was not good? what happens to us? why are we so irrational for no reason? if i had never met him the other night, i would be much more smiley right now. though, hopefully, now that i wrote about this in my journal, i'll get over it quickly. (and i actually do feel much better now than i did when i was driving home.)

well, on better news, i have another friend now and josh and i are meeting up at the arboretum tomorrow. he is really cool and i'm happy to have another friend here.

p.s. (the next day) i decided that i was just over reacting last night in my semi-drunken state, and i realize that there is nothing at all that i need to fret about. i was mostly upset because the boy and i didn't really get to talk that much during the night.