i took 1 tbsp. of nutmeg this morning at 11:15 am.

i wasn't surprised that the nutmeg took so long to kick in, as i had read a lot about it on this site: before i took it.

but i was surprised at how much it affected me. one person from that site described taking nutmeg as the time 15-30 minutes after taking mushrooms, before you start tripping, but definitely feel something. i would say that is about accurate for my experience. it didn't go beyond that feeling, which was nice. and i would also describe it as having an extremely wonderful meditation.

and it lasted so long. it is now midnight, and i haven't fully come down from it yet. i would estimate that i was "high" from about 4 pm to 11, from five to 12 hours after taking it. but i wasn't outrageously high that other people would notice.

---

it's been an incredible day. i bonded much with my dad, which was wonderful. i kept seeing the beauty everywhere, colors were slightly enhanced.

the best part of my day was that sounds were enhanced. and since tuesday is the night of my drumming lessons, it was amazing. we had an advanced class tonight, since the energy was so good and there were mostly experienced drummers there. and i kept up with most all of it, even improvising some when it wasn't even requested. i kept hearing different rhythms and each individual drum tied together. it was intense.

then it turned out that my drumming teacher had chosen tonight to play a very spiritual song. it was about the interconnectedness of all the universe, and that particular rhythm we played cast a web of positive protective energy around us all. it was amazing that we could all follow it.

(i'm seriously not making up what he said about the song--i know it can sound a little bit out there, especially in the state of my slightly altered state of consciousness. he said it, not me, but i certainly felt it.)

i was invited to stay and drum with part of the group afterwards, but i had something else i felt pulled to do. i went to the gypsy cafe and heard such an amazing dj playing. i don't normally get in to dj music, but my brain was ready for so many rhythms playing all together beautifully. the boy was seriously ON; it was fantastic. wow.

wow was the word of the night. wow.

i just kept feeling the interconnectedness. and everyone i spent time with had such amazing energy. even when they didn't start off with good energy, they were all quickly focusing on the positive.

music, drumming, smiles. yes, yes, i hear the rhythm in my typing as i am writing this.

who would have thought?

nutmeg.

peace and love to all.

NOTE: please do not go out and rush in to taking nutmeg. please. it is super powerful, and at least wait until i tell you how i feel tomorrow!

love and peace and oneness

i am so excited!

tonight i played in my first drumming circle. yay! i have been taking drumming lessons for the past three weeks, and i have improved tons each class (the first week, i pretty much sucked). i can't say that i was great tonight, but i was able to play with people! for the first time, when a drum was passed to me, i didn't refuse. i am super happy about this.

next, i would like to learn to play the accordian. if anyone has one they'd like to get rid of, let me know. i'll buy it from you.

the banjo would be awesome too. i don't think it's possible to make the banjo sound sad, ever.

i gained six pounds today. i don't know how that is physically possible.

hormones are weird.

so, since yesterday was halloween, i decided that i was free to dress up in my favorite gypsy clothes. mind you, these are not clothes i would normally put all together, except maybe at a full moon fire circle that had really good energy.

i even spent $2 at the dollar store on my outfit to get the more "steroetypical" gypsy look, purchasing large hoop earrings and eyeliner.

since i didn't have any evening plans, i got dressed up for the whole day. i figured it would be fun.

however, instead, i discovered just how prejudiced people are in the sticks of north carolina. all day long, people made a point to let me know, both verbally and with unkind looks, how unwelcome i was, at restaurants, gas stations, and especially at the nursury i went to visit (because i figured that being around plants would be better than waiting around for the car inspection watching fox news.)

since i am white, i have never experienced such outrageous prejudice directed at me. damn, it feels horrible.

why would anyone judge another person on how they look? it really saddens me to feel so much prejudice still exists, and i am also sad at how little i have noticed until it was directed at me personally. i feel horrible that i live so unaware of how so many minorities suffer every day from unfounded prejudices. that is so completely, absolutely WRONG and unacceptable.

why don't we just all love each other? it really isn't that hard...


(lyrics below by melanie)

Beautiful people
You live in the same world as I do
But somehow I never noticed
You before today
I'm ashamed to say

Beautiful people
We share the same back door
And it isn't right
We never met before
But then
We may never meet again
If I weren't afraid you'd laugh at me
I would run and take all your hands
And I'd gather everyone together for a day
And when we gather'd
I'll pass buttons out that say
Beautiful people
Then you'd never have to be alone
'Cause there'll always be someone
With the same button on as you
Include him in everything you do.

Beautiful people
You ride the same subway
As I do ev'ry morning
That's got to tell you something
We've got so much in common
I go the same direction that you do
So if you take care of me
Maybe I'll take care of you

Beautiful people
You look like friends of mine
And it's about time
That someone said it here and now

i had a fabulous weekend soaking up some carolina culture.

saturday evening, i attened my second ever pig pick'n. we had a huge bonfire and the moon was full, so there was lots of amazing energy. everybody was having a lot of fun, and it was super to meet people that i only knew from J&J's, the local diner where everyone knows each other, in another situation and to have a fun time with my dad. some top point of the night were:

bobby looking over at my dad and telling us that, even though my dad was by himself, he was smiling. i'm glad my dad enjoys people watching so much. you see, he isn't in the best of health, so i'm really happy that he can still enjoy himself. my dad also enjoyed seeing the wood he had brought over go in to the fire. i think there's really good energy when you burn things you don't need (this was extra lumber from my dad's new house) especially at a communal fire like this.

conversation with jeff, who was extremely intoxicated, Renee, jeff's wife, and me.
Jeff: Ahyoo sluhkinuhlthhhhislliin?
Oda: <looks very confused>
Renee: <translates for jeff> Are you soaking all this shit in?
while i might choose to change the word 'shit' to something more positive, yes, i was taking it all in, taking in all the love. it is great to see everyone enjoying being together, outside at a fire on a chilly night.

i absolutely love fires on the full moon, and there was such amazing energy. at one point i realized my smile was just too immense, so i got away from the crowd for a bit to smile with the trees and the moon. and my friend tom noticed my smile, which also made me happy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

we got home pretty early from the pig pick'n, so i went out to the gypsy cafe (the only place i had been out to here so far), and had a very lovely time with a group of hippies acting wild and crazy, seeking truth, and loving each other.
bash, who is the boy i like, (geez, i tried to write like in past tense, but it wasn't honest so it didn't end up that way), anyway, bash told me he's attracted to me and kept me smiling with his wonderful questions and search for meaning in his experiences. however, it seems that marcy, his fiancee (oops!) wasn't too happy with bash. but i would never do anything to break up any relationship. i think bash and i have a lot to learn from each other and i do hope we get a chance to explore that without having to have our attraction for each other get in the way of anything. i know it is possible.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++

sunday, i went to a bluegrass festival with some other friends. i enjoyed learning so much there. i was in a super social mood, and talked with tons of people: the square dancers who were having so much fun (i think i want to learn it!), the vietnam vet selling knives (my friend said it was the last place he expected to find me, but i love everyone and i like knives), the hippie who travels around with him mom selling glass art, and many people who thought i was bizarre for not wearing shoes. it was sunny and 65 degrees--i don't know why anyone would want to wear shoes on such a gorgeous day! but answering "i'm from buffalo" started up many a friendly conversation. i'm glad the conversations flowed so freely, especially in the face of all the prejudice against hippies here. only positive vibes around today. people are really friendly in the south.

it was a very wonderful weekend, much peace and love.