so i went to my first ever pig pickin' today. yes, me a long time vegetarian. it actually wasn't as bad as i thought. i imagined a pig all together roasting over an open fire on that thing that rotates the dead animals around. but the pig was cut in half and cooked in a humongous barbeque-type cooker.
my dad asked me if i could be 'normal' for the pig pickin'. he said if people ask me where i live, i should just say buffalo. i guess he doesn't really like that i say that i'm a traveller. it sound too weird. i do have to give him some credit though, because he said the people at this pig pickin' weren't his friends, but his neighbors and that it's o.k. for me to tell his friends more of who i am. that made me feel much better about the request.
i think i did the normal thing pretty well: i wore jeans and a t-shirt and certainly no one thought that i was a gypsy, so i guess that made my dad happy.
but i found that my 'normal' self didn't have much to say.
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10/30/2006 00:25 #30492
pig pickin'10/29/2006 01:23 #30491
matingCategory: love & romance
what is it about this whole finding a mate thing that makes people behave in ways they wouldn't normally? i guess emotions must be really intense.
i met a guy two nights ago, and i really liked him. it is extremely rare that i meet anyone i'm interested in, so i had such a smile every time i thought about him. everything he said that night was so right on, and it seemed like we had such a strong connection. he totally got who i am and it was obvious that he was very interested in me. and i was certainly intregued by him as well. i kept on thinking of the things he said for the past two days.
well, i saw him again tonight (at a bar, we weren't on a date or anything). despite the fact that i had a super-good night and totally enjoyed myself and meeting lots of new people, i found myself leaving the bar sadly because it didn't seem that me and him had that connection tonight. i guess the one amusing thing is that we literally crashed in to each other three times during the night, and considering that his name is bash, i think that's super-funny.
so why am i thinking that the night was not good? what happens to us? why are we so irrational for no reason? if i had never met him the other night, i would be much more smiley right now. though, hopefully, now that i wrote about this in my journal, i'll get over it quickly. (and i actually do feel much better now than i did when i was driving home.)
well, on better news, i have another friend now and josh and i are meeting up at the arboretum tomorrow. he is really cool and i'm happy to have another friend here.
p.s. (the next day) i decided that i was just over reacting last night in my semi-drunken state, and i realize that there is nothing at all that i need to fret about. i was mostly upset because the boy and i didn't really get to talk that much during the night.
i met a guy two nights ago, and i really liked him. it is extremely rare that i meet anyone i'm interested in, so i had such a smile every time i thought about him. everything he said that night was so right on, and it seemed like we had such a strong connection. he totally got who i am and it was obvious that he was very interested in me. and i was certainly intregued by him as well. i kept on thinking of the things he said for the past two days.
well, i saw him again tonight (at a bar, we weren't on a date or anything). despite the fact that i had a super-good night and totally enjoyed myself and meeting lots of new people, i found myself leaving the bar sadly because it didn't seem that me and him had that connection tonight. i guess the one amusing thing is that we literally crashed in to each other three times during the night, and considering that his name is bash, i think that's super-funny.
so why am i thinking that the night was not good? what happens to us? why are we so irrational for no reason? if i had never met him the other night, i would be much more smiley right now. though, hopefully, now that i wrote about this in my journal, i'll get over it quickly. (and i actually do feel much better now than i did when i was driving home.)
well, on better news, i have another friend now and josh and i are meeting up at the arboretum tomorrow. he is really cool and i'm happy to have another friend here.
p.s. (the next day) i decided that i was just over reacting last night in my semi-drunken state, and i realize that there is nothing at all that i need to fret about. i was mostly upset because the boy and i didn't really get to talk that much during the night.
10/25/2006 11:10 #30489
we're all oneCategory: love
i feel so much better after going on to estrip this morning.
i don't think this is all coincidence:
ajay posts about benfits of sex
the sugar gliders have sex forever
paul posts about the sugar gliders
mrdeadlier dreams about the sugar gliders
lilho makes a comment about the circus
at the time she was writing her journal, i literally was wondering how i could join a circus.
i'm sure there are many more connections, but these three obvious ones jumped out at me first thing this morning.
i had a really tough sleepless night, thinking way too much. now i wake up to good news: we are one.
much love to all and many blessings!
i don't think this is all coincidence:
ajay posts about benfits of sex
the sugar gliders have sex forever
paul posts about the sugar gliders
mrdeadlier dreams about the sugar gliders
lilho makes a comment about the circus
at the time she was writing her journal, i literally was wondering how i could join a circus.
i'm sure there are many more connections, but these three obvious ones jumped out at me first thing this morning.
i had a really tough sleepless night, thinking way too much. now i wake up to good news: we are one.
much love to all and many blessings!
10/21/2006 18:10 #30488
evil stepmotherCategory: family
earlier today, when i first saw my stepmother, ellen, i realized that if i were going to stay in a good headspace, i needed to put up a force field to protect myself. i have rarely seen anyone so irritable.
after a few hours, things were better, and i let my shield down a little.
but i should have known how bad dinner was going to be when ellen said something about the liberal media. i said i didn't want to talk about politics, but wanted to know if she really believed that the media was liberal. she explained that the wilmington newspaper was owned by the new york times, and that yes, she considered it liberal. when i asked if she thought that most media was liberal, she said a big fat YES. my jaw literally dropped, and i said i had never met anyone who thought that way. she said i must lead a really sheltered life. (yes, in fact, i DO, if you consider that i choose to surround myself with like-minded people.)
so, then, later at dinner, things got much worse. i happened to mention that i was having a hard time with the university of north carolina application (for nursing school) because it was made for people who live in the box.
ellen got really angry and decided to explain to me that nursing is a career that is in the box. she made it sound like you are just an unthinking slave to whatever the doctors say. i tried to talk a little, explaining that my cousin, who is a nurse, had told me that i would be allowed to discuss nutrition and exercise with patients, justs that i wouldn't be allowed to recommend any herbs or advise anyone to get off the medications they are currently taking. ellen, who has been a jaded nurse for a great number of years, expalined that nurses really are not allowed to do anything. i gave up trying to talk, as i was on the verge of tears and i didn't want to say anything. i just got super quiet and was unable to try to defend myself at all for the rest of the meal. ellen continued on her diatribe and tried as hard as she could to tell me all the negatives associated with being a nurse.
i am really sorry for ellen that she chose to manifest such a horrible reality for herself. i have chosen a different reality for myself, one filled with joy and love. and i don't doubt that i will find even more joy and love as a nurse.
i think sometimes people just can't stand seeing others happy. i really have a hard time dealing with those people who try to bring others down. i feel so shitty right now, and i am upset with myself for letting her her bring me down so much.
after a few hours, things were better, and i let my shield down a little.
but i should have known how bad dinner was going to be when ellen said something about the liberal media. i said i didn't want to talk about politics, but wanted to know if she really believed that the media was liberal. she explained that the wilmington newspaper was owned by the new york times, and that yes, she considered it liberal. when i asked if she thought that most media was liberal, she said a big fat YES. my jaw literally dropped, and i said i had never met anyone who thought that way. she said i must lead a really sheltered life. (yes, in fact, i DO, if you consider that i choose to surround myself with like-minded people.)
so, then, later at dinner, things got much worse. i happened to mention that i was having a hard time with the university of north carolina application (for nursing school) because it was made for people who live in the box.
ellen got really angry and decided to explain to me that nursing is a career that is in the box. she made it sound like you are just an unthinking slave to whatever the doctors say. i tried to talk a little, explaining that my cousin, who is a nurse, had told me that i would be allowed to discuss nutrition and exercise with patients, justs that i wouldn't be allowed to recommend any herbs or advise anyone to get off the medications they are currently taking. ellen, who has been a jaded nurse for a great number of years, expalined that nurses really are not allowed to do anything. i gave up trying to talk, as i was on the verge of tears and i didn't want to say anything. i just got super quiet and was unable to try to defend myself at all for the rest of the meal. ellen continued on her diatribe and tried as hard as she could to tell me all the negatives associated with being a nurse.
i am really sorry for ellen that she chose to manifest such a horrible reality for herself. i have chosen a different reality for myself, one filled with joy and love. and i don't doubt that i will find even more joy and love as a nurse.
i think sometimes people just can't stand seeing others happy. i really have a hard time dealing with those people who try to bring others down. i feel so shitty right now, and i am upset with myself for letting her her bring me down so much.
10/26/2006 20:31 #30490
permagrinCategory: love
yes, indeed, we are all one.
i had an amazing day.
i started out working, doing some leaf blowing. i decided to pretend that i was high when i was blowing the leaves. surprisingly, it worked quite well. i was totally enjoying everything. the weather was perfect today and the sun was shining strong.
then i went over to my dad's new house to help out tom with a few things there. my dad was at the doctors, and it was just me, tom, and buck, some of my dad's friends (and handymen).
for the first time (i guess because my dad wasn't there), i had a some good conversations with buck and tom. i was talking about my life a bit and mentioning that i have lived in communal places with a lot of hippies. buck saw that tom and i were getting friendly, and he pointed out that tom is a biker, not a hippie. i said "i like them, too." and i really mean it. i like everyone who is real, not afraid to be who they are.
after we finished most of our work, tom said those magic three words that have sparked many a friendship. :-`D
indeed, tom is definitely a biker. he just spent last week at biketoberfest (or something like that) in daytona beach. and he's super patriotic, at least to all the bumper stickers he has on his helmet. but i really like him, i always have ever since i met him a couple years back.
so we hung out for a bit and then i realized how little i've been outside. and really, it was absolutely gorgeous out today.
then i went for a drive by myself, over to topsail island. the beach is very pretty there. it was destroyed by hurricane fran some years back (probably about 10 by this point), but it was nice to see just how well they've recovered. (the island looks better than ever, and it really is great that it's so clean there, especially because i recently spent three months in louisiana doing hurricane relief work. it touched my soul.)
smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smiles
for the first time in a while, i went to fairy land for an extended period of time. i will try to describe what it's like when i have a permagrin on my face.
smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smiles
the perfect moments come when you realize that every experience you've ever had in your life has come together and you are just filled with so much joy. every memory is pure love, every single thought helps to make you realize that you have manifested everything that happens and that it is all love. i enjoyed discovering the beauty here today.
i enjoyed driving my 1989 honda on cruise control. you see, i am not really the best of drivers unless there are things on the road that i need to pay attention to. i like to be on auto pilot, driving along slowly and seeing all the beauty that is everywhere. each song that came on the radio fit my life perfectly. i even tuned in to "peace train" at the line:
now i've been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is.
why must we go on hating?
why can't we live in bliss?
which is telling my life exactly as it is right now. and i got to enjoy all the clapping and good vibes for the rest of the song.
i passed fairytale lane
...and i smiled for all the time i've spent in fairy land
i thought of my new biker friend
...and i smiled that i now have a friend in north carolina
i went to the beach
...and i smiled because i had forgotten how salty the ocean water was
...and i smiled because the birds were calling out to say "love"
i thought how i had called out to my soul mate the other day when i was feeling down
...and i smiled because he responded
...and i smiled because i don't need to be with her, or even to know where she is because he is ALWAYS with me, inside me
and i talked to my friend kimberly
...and i smiled because i was able to put at least a little bit of a smile on her sad face
and i enjoyed the sunsine, and i enjoyed the water
...and i smiled for everything that was manifest today.
...and then i smiled some more.
we are all one
many, many blessings to you.
LOVE!
i had an amazing day.
i started out working, doing some leaf blowing. i decided to pretend that i was high when i was blowing the leaves. surprisingly, it worked quite well. i was totally enjoying everything. the weather was perfect today and the sun was shining strong.
then i went over to my dad's new house to help out tom with a few things there. my dad was at the doctors, and it was just me, tom, and buck, some of my dad's friends (and handymen).
for the first time (i guess because my dad wasn't there), i had a some good conversations with buck and tom. i was talking about my life a bit and mentioning that i have lived in communal places with a lot of hippies. buck saw that tom and i were getting friendly, and he pointed out that tom is a biker, not a hippie. i said "i like them, too." and i really mean it. i like everyone who is real, not afraid to be who they are.
after we finished most of our work, tom said those magic three words that have sparked many a friendship. :-`D
indeed, tom is definitely a biker. he just spent last week at biketoberfest (or something like that) in daytona beach. and he's super patriotic, at least to all the bumper stickers he has on his helmet. but i really like him, i always have ever since i met him a couple years back.
so we hung out for a bit and then i realized how little i've been outside. and really, it was absolutely gorgeous out today.
then i went for a drive by myself, over to topsail island. the beach is very pretty there. it was destroyed by hurricane fran some years back (probably about 10 by this point), but it was nice to see just how well they've recovered. (the island looks better than ever, and it really is great that it's so clean there, especially because i recently spent three months in louisiana doing hurricane relief work. it touched my soul.)
smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smiles
for the first time in a while, i went to fairy land for an extended period of time. i will try to describe what it's like when i have a permagrin on my face.
smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smile-smiles
the perfect moments come when you realize that every experience you've ever had in your life has come together and you are just filled with so much joy. every memory is pure love, every single thought helps to make you realize that you have manifested everything that happens and that it is all love. i enjoyed discovering the beauty here today.
i enjoyed driving my 1989 honda on cruise control. you see, i am not really the best of drivers unless there are things on the road that i need to pay attention to. i like to be on auto pilot, driving along slowly and seeing all the beauty that is everywhere. each song that came on the radio fit my life perfectly. i even tuned in to "peace train" at the line:
now i've been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is.
why must we go on hating?
why can't we live in bliss?
which is telling my life exactly as it is right now. and i got to enjoy all the clapping and good vibes for the rest of the song.
i passed fairytale lane
...and i smiled for all the time i've spent in fairy land
i thought of my new biker friend
...and i smiled that i now have a friend in north carolina
i went to the beach
...and i smiled because i had forgotten how salty the ocean water was
...and i smiled because the birds were calling out to say "love"
i thought how i had called out to my soul mate the other day when i was feeling down
...and i smiled because he responded
...and i smiled because i don't need to be with her, or even to know where she is because he is ALWAYS with me, inside me
and i talked to my friend kimberly
...and i smiled because i was able to put at least a little bit of a smile on her sad face
and i enjoyed the sunsine, and i enjoyed the water
...and i smiled for everything that was manifest today.
...and then i smiled some more.
we are all one
many, many blessings to you.
LOVE!
hodown - 10/27/06 09:43
i was going to say something about topsail but the other ho beat me to it. i ditto her comment.
i was going to say something about topsail but the other ho beat me to it. i ditto her comment.
carolinian - 10/27/06 00:03
Random comments/questions
1. How was Chapel Hill?
2. Fran was fall 97. And I know this because Fran sent a two-ton tree crashing through my parents house. When I was home for school winter break, I had to visit them in the apartment they were staying in while the roof was repaired.
3. Topsail island kicks serious ass. There's only so many t-shirt shops a beach can have before it starts sucking *cough*Myrtle Beach*cough*
4. I don't think that hippie/biker are mutally exclusive. Easy Rider--need I say more?
5. Go to Bojangles. Drink the honey nectar that is their sweet tea. Soooo good.
6. I am so jealous of you, too. I wish I was back home (in Durham).
Random comments/questions
1. How was Chapel Hill?
2. Fran was fall 97. And I know this because Fran sent a two-ton tree crashing through my parents house. When I was home for school winter break, I had to visit them in the apartment they were staying in while the roof was repaired.
3. Topsail island kicks serious ass. There's only so many t-shirt shops a beach can have before it starts sucking *cough*Myrtle Beach*cough*
4. I don't think that hippie/biker are mutally exclusive. Easy Rider--need I say more?
5. Go to Bojangles. Drink the honey nectar that is their sweet tea. Soooo good.
6. I am so jealous of you, too. I wish I was back home (in Durham).
lilho - 10/26/06 20:44
topsail island? my fav place in the whole world! we vacatoned there every year from the time i was about 2-16. i love it there. i was i was there right now. im so jealous:O(
topsail island? my fav place in the whole world! we vacatoned there every year from the time i was about 2-16. i love it there. i was i was there right now. im so jealous:O(
You know what, I have to leave another comment. I can't believe the way Ellen spoke to you! This is inspiring me to invent portable Larson Brother dolls, so next time you will have an ace in the pocket to tell her what's for.
Is the "media" liberal?!? Shit, is the sky blue? Do fish have gills? Do hippies like patchouli?
I think it depends on the media sector you are talking about. If it is talk radio, it is overwhelmingly right-wing. The rest ranges somewhere from sideline Democrat cheerleader (News Networks) to out and out leftist (NYT,Alternatives). It's not as if I really have so much a problem with that, except they feign objectivity and they make the news rather than reporting it.
As far as the nursing stuff goes, I think it's sad that your stepmother isn't being supportive of your decisions. UNC is an awesome school! Nursing is an excellent career choice! I think you should stick to your guns and go for what you really want (which is, of course, a Republican man, but that's the subject of another comment).
First off, you are in NC, and I'm terribly jealous of you. I really want to be back there, because that's where most of my friends are.
Second: If you are big into the hippie scene, check out carrboro, pittsboro, chapel hill, and Durham's 9th street (though the last two have become increasingly yuppy). Weaver Street Market :::link::: on thursdays is something that you might be interested in. Given what I perceive your interests to be, you might want to consider moving to the Chapel Hill/Orange County area, going to school for at UNC-Chapel HIll for nursing, but take a year off first to live there for a year, so you'll get in-state residency and UNC-CH will be *far* cheaper. While their spawn-of-satan basketball team isn't half as cool as Duke's, they're a fairly good school.
Third: I'm the son of a nurse. Being a nurse is a very, very trying profession. There can be long hours at weird times of the day, you can be yanked back into service for emergencies even if it's your day off, you'll have to deal with greedy and obstinant insurance companies who will make paperwork a nightmare, and you'll have to sometimes deal with crazy people on alls sorts of substances who may want to hurt you/insult you and will not be grateful for your attempts to help them. That's not to say it can't be rewarding, but you want to understand what you're getting yourself into.
While I wouldn't listen to someone who rants about the liberal media ad nauseum, you probably can learn a few important things from a jaded nurse.
I thought you were going to go to UB - did the storm scare you, lol.