i wrote an entry before. iit was erased. oh well. bad day turned good day; i think.


long time since:

i saw the ocean


saw my mom


saw brother


liked working/ wanted to work



is prozac the answer? matt says he thinks i will be a pill popping wife. oh boy. i guess really being just you by yourself for the first time ever means a lot of freedom, choice, and confusion. its natural to feel alone. but i really really hate it. maybe i will work with kiddies again, they always make me happy. yay for kids. they're just wonderful, and if you don't agree, you're stupid.


zucchini soup and cigarettes...nature's cure.



im dramatic. give me something so i can be normal.

so, i have new place which i like. new job, don't know if i like cuz i don't start til tuesday. going to school. owe mom lots of money. shes real mad. at least i got happiness.

how about this weather, absolutely freakin awesome!

the same person? they are corny, have(or did have) strange long curly hair and make bad music. lets make love to some micheal bolton and kenny g baby.

paul once told me that i am. its not true. i really wanna go. someone needs to pay. ummm. the gov or my mom. well, i would eventually get money from vesid and just pay her back. so, it starts in a week, and im jealous, cuz all you are out there learning things.

moving on thurs for def. excited. nervous. lots of things. trying to throw out stuff. i wanna throw it all out. but i use it all. threw out a big bag of clothes today, well giving it to the sal army.

even though life is crazy and messed up and so unsure right now, im very very very happy.









and in love :)

[/c] for tha summer, for tha summer...wow, everyone is very thoughtful and kinda wierd right now. i agree, it sucks that summer was over, but not really for me. summer is such a great season, and normally i spend my summers near the ocean with family, relaxation, and lots of great food. this year was so different. not bad, just different.

i still parited and saw friends and had some great food, but the family was missing, and that was probably the hardest part. sometimes i miss my mom so much or just think about something she might say or do if she was with me, and i just start to cry. not bad tears. just tears of realization. shes crazy. shes a neat freak. she hates coming home to dishes in the sink, but she is the best and the only one i got. at fist, i was so sad, all the time, but it really did get easier, and now im so glad i stated. i got all you dudes to hang out with and talk to, its amazingwhat one website can do. i daresay, this has been my home, while i had none, and that is just so cool. thanx paul.

also, thank you, thank you, thank you, to paul matthew and terry for helping me out and letting me hang out this summer. we had some good times ya'll. thanx for helping me find a place. this entry is too long, i try to keep it short. now i will list.


tina is back, yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
move on wed, yay!
work at sushi place, yay!
finish painting furniture, double yay!
see friend who just came back from italy, yay!
fancypants, yay!


if you ever need to make a huge life change, or just change your life, do it in the summertime. at least you will have the sunshine and warm weather. ;) [c]