ever since i saw the movie "adaptations", i have loved orchids. they are now my favorite flower. i want one sooooooooooooooo much. they are hard to take care of though. pretty things just require a lot of care i guess.

nausea; no fun. i hate taking pills. thats about all i have to say for now. except for a couple more things.

professional sports are a waste of time.
the zoo is just a bad poopy place.
i miss my sister already.
cars are a huge ripoff, they just fall apart and cost tons of money.

i think im gonna go home and puke now. bad bad pills go away.

oh today, what a day. it all started with a trip to the airport, to see the sister off. she started to cry, and i was to tired for emotion. however, i did manage to get out a tear or two on the ride home. she is definitely a sibling worth having. she gets the, "best ever" award.

i returned home to go back to sleep and woke up late, at 1130. spent a quality half hour with a special somene and then headed to work. work was decent; boring, but decent. it is nice to wander around completing mindless tasks, because i get the time to think about a lot of things, which seemed to help clear my mind today.

the ride home wad going smoothly, until, CRASH, SNAP, CRUNCH, and my rearview mirror falls to the ground.we both get out of our cars, and he starts yelling and swearing at me. I am just in shock, thinking about how much this mf-er is going to cost to fix. the accident oocured conveinantly close to a car dealership, and we head inside to work it out. this is when the tears come, i just started crying, as all the car salesmen stare and continue to ask me if i need help. at last nothing fell off of me right? i called the mom, and she rushes to the scene. shes the best, because i had no idea what to do.

accident over, i head home following the mom. we walk in the house to brother burning the shit out of yet another pan. most of the silverware is missing. so many things missing. how do you deal with a brother who steals and lies? am i supposed to just forget him and move on? do i tell him how hurt i am?

the day is almost over, minus the cleaning and work i have to do. i am without a mirror and a brother.

p.s. who wants to go to the junkyard to help me find a new mirror tomorrow?

paul, i tld you not to post that picture, i look cuter in the other one. can we fix this problem?

i think it is possible that i will have arthritis at a very early age, my knees, back, feet, shoulders, ankles; they are hurt. im an old lady.

p.s. why is the world a toxic waste dump?

hmmmm, how to say this? life is a precious thing. it is happy and sad and beautiful and ugly all at the same; but in the end, i would like to think that the good stuff makes up for the bad. i try to be happy or at least content, most of the time, but, i think it is good to just let it all out. whatever you are holding inside, any doubts, fears, bad feelings; it is better to just let these go. afterwards, you will feel so much better.

some people, hold things in, with the belief that it is silly to let these emotions out. no emotion is petty or dumb, or without reason. without feeling, life becomes numb, boring and mundane. it bothers me to think that some people around me, people that i love and care about, let past experiences or bothersome emotions gether inside them. they might think i don't see that they are hiding these things, but i do. if i know you, and care about you, i want to know what is bothering you. i hate it when people are not honest with me.

it is not good to be conditioned, or condition yourself to hide emotion. it can even kill you; if not that, it can create heart problems, high blood pressure, and a whole slew of other problems. basically, all im saying is let it all out. we all go through tough times, and we should all be there for eachother. after a good cleansing, everything just seems more clear; life seems easier to tackle; and you can continue on your day with a smile onm your face.

i know i will go to bed with a smile on my face. i love my friends. i love my family. i love summer. i have a job. i have my health. the possiblites are endless...life is good.

>>Posted By: lilho