ugh. i don't want to move to arizona, but the more i think about it, the less of a choice i have. i have no money, in fact i have negative money, and lots of it. if my mom goes, i have nobody here. this really sucks to think that in about five months, my life here will be non-existent. it seems right now, that there is nothing that i can do. i will worry about it when it comes.
my rich aunt and uncle came today. i drove my aunt and my cousin to the mall, where my aunt proceeded to drop a couple hundred on ugly clothes for my cousin, which i am positive she doesn't even need. and by the way, why does it take 15 minutes to pick out a tee shirt when they are all the same? well, minus the fact that each one has a different idiotic saying on it. the mall should be burned, who wants to help?
my cousin doesn't need clothes. i need 330 to pay my fucking car insurance. i need 100 to pay ub for tuition. i need 250 for books and art supplies.
not only do i drive them, and then find all the right sizes, but i carried in my cousin's bags. what the fuck" they might as well put a stamp on my ass that says "servant".
i am really sick of being used. being taken advantage of. i won't name names, but, you should feel bad, because i am having a shitty life right now.
and my neck still kinda hurts from sleeping on it the wrong way.
list of things and people i hate right now:
moms
relatives
brothers
boys...one specifically, all others are hated by default
winter
arizona
my car
my neck
salt
i will stop now.

we gon watch finding nemo tonight...fun times...during all the madness. my granny comes home tonight, i shall be happy to see her. i bought her some flowers, yay for granny. yay for maria, and yay for nemo. oh, and yay for eigthies.

I was read some stuff for a class i am taking, and it is pretty interesting. so, i have decided to share with you.
just a little trivia about color...

colors and their meanings:

red= blood, martydom, sin, war, anger, fire, the sun sexuality, evil, fertility, masculinity, festivity

yellow= treachery, cowardice, light, truth, warning, cheerfulness, spirituality, the sun, gold, radiance, earth

blue= heaven, the celestial shpere, water, baptism, space, coolness, eternity, faith, serenity, wisdom, feminine

green= spring, ressurection, envy, holiness, charity, regeneration

black(which is actually not a color)= death, evil, darkness, vod witchcraft, sadness, mourning, time, rebirth

white(not a color either)= light, air, purity, marriage, death, redemption, innocence, surrender

I think that color is possibly the greatest thing ever, at least for me. it is sad however, that i live in such a bland place.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PAUL, MY SPECIAL MONKEY BIRTHDAY BABY!

grand puba, grand puba, go go go go...
i luvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv you jessica kim ho, having a happy chinky china new year, from the lil' ho!