I feel as if I constantly have to defend myself from your comments even over the simplest things. For example, when I posted a picture of the lamb I had for Easter you say "Dude you overcooked it." This was a minor annoyance, but the thing about your comments is that all of these minor annoyances add up. You also post comments without actually reading what I have to say. For example, when I talked about when I consolidated my student loans
Your comment made it obvious that you hadn't read what I wrote at all. I had already said the rates were going up and that I consolidated, then you said if you haven't done so the rates are going up so consolidate now. Here is the thing I don't like getting constant advice when its not asked for. As for this latest thing, I think that you and (e:jason) know that I didn't have stocks in Enron. I believe people like Ken Lay do actually affect society as a whole and I think that most people realized that I wasn't referring to my lost stock. It is this constantly being petty and making me defend every thing I say to the last detail that makes me angry. I have seriously considered not even posting anymore because I hate that so much. It's exhausting and not fun.
As for the Buddhism, you do not know me. It is aggravating that this is the second time that you have implied or said that I am a bad Buddhist. I don't claim to be perfect. I have many many faults. I do actually practice and chant. Not necessarily 2x's a day, but I do as well as attend various meetings and activities over the last four years. I really don't think you have the right or the knowledge to judge me like you have. Let me just say it isn't easy to be Buddhist; it takes a lot of effort. The effort has certainly paid off in many ways in my life, and I know what I am capable of when I increase my efforts. My nasty comment to you did not come from a good place and I certainly was out of line. I'm not sure if you are a Buddhist or not. As far as I have read you haven't said you are. If you are then we are practicing two different types and that is fine. It's just that what you say about Buddhism in some ways is going to be different and I don't want people to be confused (it is confusing and I'm still learning).
Finally, I am sorry to everyone for my actions. I hope that no one has lost respect for me due to the way I have handled my anger. Mrdt, I am very sensitive and it is hard for me not to take offense to things, please in the future take care in the things that you say to me, as I will try to do the same with everyone else. I'm usually very careful with my words and I will try even harder in the future.
mrdt,
thanks for clearing things up. We should all try and stay clear of the good buddhist bad buddhist labels or any labels for that matter. You are right about life being suffering, but don't forget that we also can and do experience higher life conditions as well. We are in fact responsibile for our own happiness. Overcoming suffering can become a source of happiness within itself.
You should make something that in depth about yourself your own journal entry instead of a comment. It will be easier for you to keep track of what you write and for others to follow a history of your thoughts. Feel free to add the link to my journal or send me a post it if you want me to make sure I see it.
try to realize before you read this that I am not attacking you. I merely am trying to explain myself so that you may understand my motives.
First, I never said you were a bad buddhist, you did. I merely stated that a good buddhist would never kill a spider in the house, they would capture it and set it free. Somebody told me this and I was passing it on to you.
Second you asked and I quote "...like why do they want us to consolidate now? DO they know something we don't." And my reply was about the new laws going into effect on July 1st.
I read it your journal(maybe not as carefully as I should have) but I still read it and it was a comment on a small section of your journal. I wasn't fucking with you either, just thought I was answering your questions and offering some advice.
Okay on to my spiritual background: I've studied all the major religions for many, many years. I attended Catholic grammer school, high school and college. Despite what you and most people might think The Bible was not cramed down our thought everyday word for word. It was explained to us a model of how we once lived and how we should live our lives in contemplation. We were always given a well rounded spiritual education whether Cathlic, Jewish, Hinduism or Buddhism and something sparked in me in high school that led me on a journey to explore Eastern Philosophy. While my friends were dismissing their spirituality and classifying themselves athiests, I, through contemplation, was strengthening mine.
It wasn't until college when I began to explore the Dalai Lama and Thomas Merton that I began to understand how the two religions paralleled one another (Chrisitianity and Buddhism). My curiosity to understand this part of my life better has brought on much research, soul searching and self actualization. Buddhism has brought me to places within myself that I never knew exisited. Essentialy it brought me closer to myself and God, if that makes sense, almost the same way lifting weights puts me in better touch with my body. If you want to lable my spirituality I guess you could call me a Christian-Buddhist.
One of the greatest teachings of Buddhism is that life is suffering and life is impermanent and to be truely happy we have to accept that. Therefore I am putting this as far behind me as I can.
Once again I am truely sorry if I offended or disrespected you in any way. I believe greatly in faith, hope and love, the greatest of which is love.
Good Buddhist, Good Guy -- now this is how you be a person -- Hope the folks at home can see this.
for the record, i am implying that you are a good buddhist. :op