If I don't die from lack of rest


Seriously though I'm tired.

I've stopped drinking caffeine (d pepsi) for the most part and I think its for the best.

Coffee, baby, you know I love you. I'll always love you.
I know we don't spend that much time together, but I think the time we have is special.
Its just that I don't want to walk around with garbage-coffee-breath.
Oh baby its not that I don't like it, its other people. They keep us apart.



I purchased a Spicy Chicken Sandwhich from a Wendy's restaraunt yesterday.
This is a good sandwich for me because I like 'Spicy' almost as much as I like 'chicken.'

My first bite into it, and I had barely chomped down when it squirted a shot of very hot oil across my face and all over my shirt.
Fucker.
I have a red mark on my face today.

Fuck that, I"m brown baggin it to work next week.
Lunch and otherwise.

so I saw my burka lady again on Monday morining (e:kookcity2000)#3 .

But it was early Monday monring, and I didn't reconize her.
I thought it was a beekeeper walking up the street



And I thought that was really cool, and my imagination started running about downtown bee colonies, and the surplus of honey that our fair city would be expecting.
Then I realized it was a lady that people covered in tarps, because they didn't want dudes to pop boners when they saw her.



Bummer


Yesterday I was driving home and I was really tired. I kept nodding off at the wheel.
At one point I woke up from a nod, only to see a copper pull a U-y and light me up.

I didn't know whether I was speeding, or had run a light, or whatever.

It turned out I was speeding. Nice enough fellow, told me to plead down to a parking ticket.


I was so scared at how stupid/dangerous I was, it took me a few hours to get over it.
(I mean the thought of hurting someone makes me want to curl up in a ball and melt into shit)

The last time I felt so disgusted with myself was a few years ago: I ran out of gas on the 290.
Yeah, I ran out of gas in my own city, and on a bridge nonetheless.

After that one I was grossed out how dumb I was. Had to do some Indiana Jones shit to get the trucked gassed up and out of there.
Not cool


SURVEY:

dude: link


People:
1: I found this site by looking for Buffalo Blogs. I joined because I was reading along with other peoples posts.

2: Nobody knows! I've introduced myself to people as my real name.
My pictures are real photos


3: 1 so far

4: not yet. But it will.

5: Not really yet

6: no

7: I live on Elmwood. I went to school in buffalo. I grew up near Geneseo NY

Equipment:
1: no. I'm pretty happy with my hardware/software with regards to dealing with this site.

2: Yes. But I didn't post. I will sometime though

3: a litle bit.

4: no. But if my landlord throws me out (he still hasn't talked to me about whether he wants to renew my lease or not, its up at the ned of the month) it really will

5: I like sharing my wierd life shit with other people. I think its a sharp dose of truth and humility when I tell other people about these things.

6: not really

7: no. never had another

8: no, knock on wood.

yesterday I had a 90 day new-hire review.

My boss rated me higher than I would have. I guess he's really happy with me.

he was going to put me in for a raise, but he said he could give me a bigger raise if he waited till the 6 month mark. (? I could use the money now, that would be nice if he's not bullshitting me)


We talked about the direction he wants me to go in the company, blah blah, etc.
I described the track I wanted to take, but I guess it was all kind of a half-lie, because I don't always know or care where I'm going in life.
Sometimes I do.



My homey from college is getting married today.
I'm going out there (roch), I didn't get a hotel room.

This will force me to find a girl to spend the night with. (optimist?)
Or maybe to sleep in a doorway (pessimist)

Have you ever, all of a sudden, realized that you are in love with someone?
And then have you ever been cerebrally pissed off at your feelings, but couldn't change anyways?



Naw me neither.


But I did realize this weekend that I really like (NO, NOT LOVE!) Buffalo.
Once I realized this, I recoiled, but I think the damage has allready been done.

Fuck you Buffalo, I think I love you.



I mean, Buffalo has its problems. We all are aware of this.

The city proper is beat. Its been decayed, decaying at least as long most of the people on (e:strip) have been alive. (Roughly)


Get out of your happy place and just drive down Main St or Broadway, William, etc, ad infinitum. A fucking shell. Shit-town.

Contrast that shell to the throbbing mass that is the hulk of the suburb mass in the Greater Area.

You can almost look at it like a star swelling before it goes SuperNova, or a heart, balooning as as the patient suffers from congestive heart failure.


Well, nothing as dramatic as that.
Similar difference though.



Plus many other items, but the decay is what consistantly gets me.



But I still like this place. I compare every other city I vist to Buffalo. Fuck, thats twisted.


The music, the food, the streets, even the crappy lake.
Maybe if i was more articulate, I could help explain it, but it seems like most of the people here allready understand what Good about Buffalo anyhow.


(I changed roots to and from work. Instead of taking the thru-way to Dunkirk each day, I've been taking Rt 5. Much better) (screw parentheses)

Taking Route 5 is fucking awesome. The city really looks like a sexy bitch from like Woodlawn.

But my favorite is the skyway. The SKYWAY!!! The way to the future!
Actually its a pretty obsolete future. Some decades ago, the skyway was the shit. Cars in the sky!

I get vertigo thinking about the difference in decades, from when the skyway was awesome, and where we are today.
But that view of the city, coming up over the skyway, gets me every time.
Continue that drive up along 190 by the water, and under the Bridge, and I'm in love.

Reluctantly in Love.




Fucker.

Lilho cut my hair the other day. I dunno, I think she did a good job, shes a good haircutter.

My dome is huge though so she had to charge me extra.


Work is stupid but fun lately. Today the capper on line4 lost timing and the accumulation conveyor on line2 was jumping and the high-speed fan on cooling tower 5 needs to be sent out to be rebuilt. We tried to change the pushout regulator on Line4 but it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. So I worked on all that plus did research on the air-blower offer for Line1.

This is all so stupid. Why do people drink so much juice? Nobody thinks juice is cool and the money sucks and the commute is fucking awful.


But it still is fun to me because of the weirdness of it, and the challenge of doing something so different. I laugh every day there and its starting to get fun because I'm almost starting to get good at the job.

I really need something else, but if I know myself, I'll stick around there too long.

I told my boss I had to talk to him today (it was about something benign) but his face dropped and said he thought I was going to tell him I was leaving.
I wonder what the significance of that was.


Maybe if the just paid me more I would just be too fat and happy to care about all the drawbacks of the job.