If you had to have a dashboard, like status lights, on your forehead, what lights would you pick?


I 'm going to call it right here: someday body piercings <; status lights < tattoos < orange juice.


I think the first light I'd want is a Bullshit Light.
The Bullshit Light would just start to glow when you catch a whiff of bullshit, like when someone tries to explain how the lottery is a good investment.
Then the Bullshit Light turns on solid when you realize that someone actually believes their bullshit.


The bullshit light starts flashing and melts into a puddle when my boss tries to explain to me why I should work on July 4th.

Fucker

did anyone see (or better yet, know) that green girl at the square yesterday?

Seriously, there was a girl that was like Kermit-the-Frog or Incredible-Hulk green.
She was kind of hanging on the backpack of the dude she was with.

I'm pretty sure she was ill, maybe under a Dr's care, and I feel bad for remarking that she must've been seasick, a la a Popeye cartoon or something.



I am such an rotten argumentative jerk when I am half hung over. (Usually I'm good with water and don't get hung over)
I am just realizing this after like years of being wierd the day after drinking.

It all makes so much sense now.

My friend Milhouse called me today and asked for help moving a futon.

I met him after work at this place only a few houses down from mine on Elmwood.

It was power muggy out, and the futon was large and up three sets of very narrow stairs.
After some genius geo-spacial reasoning and android-like precision beast strength, we got the thing down to my truck.

I told Millhouse that if he really wanted the futon he would ride on it to his place.
So he did.
PRetty much as soon as I pulled out the driveway, the futon fell off theback.

Milhouse dropped in my rear view, dropped down to the street.

I pulled over and started laughing before I even checked if he was run over by a bus.
He was intact, and only saved from the road by the delicate stitching and quality construction of the futon matress.

The futon feets got shaved down a little bit from rubbing on the road, but they needed to be leveled out anyways.


We repositioned the couch, and made it to his place without any further event.

As soon as we pulled up, PuertoRicanDude#1 inquired about the futon.
Ten seconds later, Milhouse had sold his other, shittier, stained futon to PRD1 for $20. But the dude didn't have $20, so he got it gratis.

Milhouse, Me, PRD1 and his friend PRD2 hauled the thing up to his shitty apt. I offered them all a beer and we caught our breath.

We went back down for the matress when Milhouse locked his keys in the apt.

Fuck

I quickly found an open window on the side of the building without a screen.
I put a garbage can under it, and ordered PRD1 "Levanta!" Up he went, through the open window and let us in. We completed the moves.

Now PRD1 wanted me to move his new futon to his place.

It was cool, he threw my Stooges CD in the stereo and we were jamming out.

I don't know if he was just stoned or if it was more, but it was a fun ride.

When we got there, he wanted me to back the truck up into this corner of a parking lot.
Cool, no problem
Then we wanted me to back up into this narrow alley.
The alley was pretty well hidden on all sides and I got scared pretty fast.

I moved my knife so it wasn't buried in my pocket. We moved the futon into the alley. He kept on going in and outside, talking to some other dude.

I didn't wait around long. I took off. Bad vibes.

Fun enough guy though, we should drink beer again sometime.


This was my Silver Post

If I don't die from lack of rest


Seriously though I'm tired.

I've stopped drinking caffeine (d pepsi) for the most part and I think its for the best.

Coffee, baby, you know I love you. I'll always love you.
I know we don't spend that much time together, but I think the time we have is special.
Its just that I don't want to walk around with garbage-coffee-breath.
Oh baby its not that I don't like it, its other people. They keep us apart.



I purchased a Spicy Chicken Sandwhich from a Wendy's restaraunt yesterday.
This is a good sandwich for me because I like 'Spicy' almost as much as I like 'chicken.'

My first bite into it, and I had barely chomped down when it squirted a shot of very hot oil across my face and all over my shirt.
Fucker.
I have a red mark on my face today.

Fuck that, I"m brown baggin it to work next week.
Lunch and otherwise.

so I saw my burka lady again on Monday morining (e:kookcity2000)#3 .

But it was early Monday monring, and I didn't reconize her.
I thought it was a beekeeper walking up the street



And I thought that was really cool, and my imagination started running about downtown bee colonies, and the surplus of honey that our fair city would be expecting.
Then I realized it was a lady that people covered in tarps, because they didn't want dudes to pop boners when they saw her.



Bummer


Yesterday I was driving home and I was really tired. I kept nodding off at the wheel.
At one point I woke up from a nod, only to see a copper pull a U-y and light me up.

I didn't know whether I was speeding, or had run a light, or whatever.

It turned out I was speeding. Nice enough fellow, told me to plead down to a parking ticket.


I was so scared at how stupid/dangerous I was, it took me a few hours to get over it.
(I mean the thought of hurting someone makes me want to curl up in a ball and melt into shit)

The last time I felt so disgusted with myself was a few years ago: I ran out of gas on the 290.
Yeah, I ran out of gas in my own city, and on a bridge nonetheless.

After that one I was grossed out how dumb I was. Had to do some Indiana Jones shit to get the trucked gassed up and out of there.
Not cool


SURVEY:

dude: link


People:
1: I found this site by looking for Buffalo Blogs. I joined because I was reading along with other peoples posts.

2: Nobody knows! I've introduced myself to people as my real name.
My pictures are real photos


3: 1 so far

4: not yet. But it will.

5: Not really yet

6: no

7: I live on Elmwood. I went to school in buffalo. I grew up near Geneseo NY

Equipment:
1: no. I'm pretty happy with my hardware/software with regards to dealing with this site.

2: Yes. But I didn't post. I will sometime though

3: a litle bit.

4: no. But if my landlord throws me out (he still hasn't talked to me about whether he wants to renew my lease or not, its up at the ned of the month) it really will

5: I like sharing my wierd life shit with other people. I think its a sharp dose of truth and humility when I tell other people about these things.

6: not really

7: no. never had another

8: no, knock on wood.